I am a black woman, and though I am happily married to a black man, I have dated outside of my race, and would consider it again should I have the misfortune of becoming single in the future. Even though I know I'd have to overcome the initial backlash from my family if I were to bring a white guy home.
I remember the first time I realized that I was raised to be romantically prejudiced against whites. I was only 12 years old, and a blonde, blue-haired classmate and I were pretty chummy. There was a moment once when he tried to kiss me, and I actually pushed him away and said that there was no way that I was going to give my first kiss to a white boy, even though deep down I'd had a crush on him. *laughs* Even though I went to a predominately white school, I'd had this in my head. When I thought about it later on, I was so embarrassed by my own reaction, that I avoided the boy for the rest of the school year. I intentionally stopped being color struck ever since.
Like a few other people said, it isn't really about looks or skin color, but rather about personality and interests that's compatible with me. I guess I just can't understand people who say that they aren't attracted to ALL dark skinned or light-skinned people, or only like blondes, or etc. etc. I'm attracted to a soul, a personality, a mind. Not hair texture/color or skin pigmentation.
This is the first time that I've dared to click on this thread....after reading your story Riki, it's pretty sad that some parents talk to their kids like that. My sister's fiance's parents told him before he went to high school "now son, we know that there are going to be a lot of girls there and you are going to want to date, but don't date outside your race okay?" His parents are pretty crazy though, so if they are the kind of parents that say things like that to their kids, I don't think that you have much to worry about. Just to give an example of why they are crazy, they go to a church that has all members sign a form that says that they will only have sex in the missionary position, and that God abhores any instrument that is not the piano. Pretty crazy right?
Anyway, I've never been attracted to a black girl myself, even women like Halle Berry that are supposedly super hot, I just find myself not attracted to. It's not a result of any kind of parental influence either, because my parents never taught me anything about how I shouldn't date "outside my race" It's just a personal preference I guess.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
Technically speaking, and this is from 2 different college classes, there are only 3 races. Caucasian, Black, and Arab. With Asian and Hispanic within Caucasian. When it's broken down further from the 3 races, it is a social identity that people want to belong to to call thier own over the centuries.
But I think to each is own. Everyone is entitled to thier beliefs. Everyone reguardless of color, will be raised differently.
I personally am not attracted to women outside my race except maybe Hispanic women. Does that make me racist? Probably to liberals. But the average Joe? No.
As for white women, I see they are really pressured about interracial dating. A lot that I know, or lived with , or dated myself are not attracted to black men at all. Yet when approached by a black man, they are accused of being racist if they don't want to "hook up". And that's what is wrong.
I have lots of black friends. My perception of black guys with white girls have been this. The white girl is usually fat, and more than likely to have extra baggage. Meaning a single mom, or something in her past that keeps white guys away. So I ask the guys why do you [black] guys chase after white girls all the time? Why are they always fat etc.. They said a few reasons that i'm not gonna share here, but to sugar coat it, there isn't so much drama with white girls. The other reason is that white girls are like a trophy to them. They do it to make a statement and for that other reason, that I'm not sharing. Guess you'll have to make some black friends to get that answer yourself heh. I don't think they're bad guys at all, even having heard all of that. I still think they can do better than a fat white girl that hasn't been laid in years.
With todays way of thinking. Lots of people don't like to be labeled. Especially the younger crowd. I think the term "racist" is thrown around too much, and it's uncalled for in instances such as trying to get a girls' number just because she'll give it up out of fear of being labeled. If that's the new way for dudes to hook up with chicks then they need to go home and rethink thier life.
I'll admit, I have my biases. Recently I've been very biased against women from other ethnicities. There was this cute asian girl I wanted to date, but I could never get to know her because she was always with her vietnamese friends speaking vietnamese. It made her hard to get to know, even after I already made the approach. More recently, there was a hispanic girl. She was very nice, and friendly, even though she had a kid I was still interested. She skirted around the subject of a boyfriend, but eventually said it or let it slip. And he's hispanic, so...
Trying to break that cultural barrier, particularly the self-imposed ones can be very difficult.
As for my baises, I don't want to date hispanic or black women. Black women generally aren't attractive to me, though I'll make an exception for Halle Berry, but I don't think that applies. Hispanic women are more of a point of culture/attitude in that I don't want to deal with a loud-mouthed-fast-talking person that likes to argue. Granted, this is a gross stereotype and not everyone is like that (witness the fact that I was interested in a hispanic woman earlier on), but it's enough to make me disinterested.
In general I am not attracted African-American features nor am I attracted to asians. I may find some asians attractive, but I woudn't date an asian girl, well not true, but it wouldn't be the first place I'd look. I date what I like, and it just so happens that I tend to not like African-American girls nor indian nor asian. But I DO LOVE LATINA, gotta love the latina chicks. BRING IT ON DOWN.
Also, Arab isn't a race, Arabs fall under caucasian. If you're confused on what an Arab is, it is someone who speaks arabic that is usaully from the middle east.
Pakistani's are not arabs, people from afghanistan are not arab, people from turkey or Iran are not arabs. The three races are caucozoid, negroid, and mongoloid (for asian)
Arabs fall under caucasian. i may be wrong but pakistani's fall under mongoloid.
Overall, I don't think it is a problem to not want to date other races nor is it racist to feel that way. It's a free country, if i choose to date other races it's cool and if i do not choose to date other races it is also cool. Personal preference.
Let's put myself in another person's shoes, let's say my Son comes home with:
a latina chick = I wouldn't care as long as she has the general characteristics in a person that I like (like virtues)
a jewish chick = I'd like to hear his explanation on this one but then again her virtues are most important
an asian chick = I wouldn't like it honestly, but I could get over it and it's not that big of a deal.
an indian chick = As long as the general characteristics were good, it wouldn't be a problem
A black chick = no problem as long as characteristics and virtues were okay
An obese chick = I'd be like, hell no bitch
In all honesty, I can't help but say that as a father I'd probably prefer my son come home with someone of like race, creed, and upbringing, I can't see how others wouldn't think it's the most preferable as you know the culture and such and that marriage is hard enough without complicating it with race issues and such. Race is an issue for me but it's by no means an important factor, but I would take it into account.
The way the girl thinks and acts is by way more important than race, but i'll honestly say that the race matters to me to a certain degree.
Cryomatrix
Catch me streaming at twitch.tv/cryomatrix You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations.
Well, since my previous pst got deleted, I guess I'll rephrase. The father is not to blame in this situation. The generally racist south is at fault here, and I think the father is making a completely rational suggestion.
In my previous post, I went into a bit more detail, but I'll just leave it at that.
Originally posted by Cryomatrix [...]Arabs fall under caucasian. i may be wrong but pakistani's fall under mongoloid. [...]
Strictly, Pakistanis are Indo-European, of the Indo-Aryan branch. They have more in common racially and lingustically with a Welshman or a Russian than they do an Arab. So that makes them Caucasian.
Arabs are of the "Afro-Asiatic/Semitic" branch, like Hebrews, Maltese and Ethiopians.
Originally posted by methane47 Originally posted by Infliction The way things look where I live, I doubt I'd ever find myself dating a black girl. Not because of race or color, but culture. I live in an extremely white area of Washington state, and grew up with maybe 4 or 5 black people total in my town of 5000 or so. In the city its a totally different story obviously, but I don't get along so well with most black guys/girls, mostly due to the hip-hop culture. I can't stand rap, fubu, sagging pants to your knees, or intentionally broken english, and I really, really, really hate rap music. I've met only 1 or 2 black people in my area/age group that aren't like that, so personally I don't think I will ever date a black girl. Not saying I'm not open to the possibility of it, but unless culture moves forward some I don't see it ever happening in my life.
hmmm your post was going great tilll the end... And i just have to bring up a couple quuestions...
Soooo you think black culture needs to "move forward"? because Blacks are the only ones who speak with intentionally broken english? Get r done? Or the only people who dress funny? or just because of the music?
I know you didn't really mean it like that though... I'm just givin you a hard time... But i truly suggest you try another culture... Mixing cultures is beautifull... And maybe you can learn something that you can appreciate about rap... and you can share ...country? with the girl... I guess that last line didn't come out the way I intended. And by culture moving forward I mean as a whole, once the whole rap thing stops being popular. And I'm not exactly a fan of the hicks either , although they can be fun to party with at times... But I've no intention of screwing in a barnyard.
I have mixed cultures before, trust me I'm no white supremecist lol... I've been out with a couple different asian chicks. There aren't a lot of black girls where I live (its like .001 percent or somethin crazy like that) so maybe I just haven't met the right ones.
Wow, I have actually taken the time to read ALL of the posts here....I'm astonished at how WRONG people are about this. Although I am not shocked at all about the amount of racism and stereotyping that rears its ugly head (even in this thread). Even with 2006 almost over ingnorance abounds. (sad)
I am a black man and I am married to a white woman. We have been married for 4 years (together for 8). So, I think I can speak intelligently on the subject. First off, I kinda understand what the girl's father said. For my wife and I, it has NOT been easy, when we first got together people would point and whisper all the time. White people would assume that I was unemployed and living off of her, and blacks would assume that I picked a white girl because it was easier. However, the father should have explained how hard it is to his daughter said something along the lines of, "make sure you're willing to deal with these things if you're gonna date a black guy". Then I wouldn't have a problem with what he said. It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.) Eventually, we started to get along. Now, I am not referred to as a son-in-law, but a son. My family on the other hand, was a little apprehensive about me dating a white girl. Although, my family works different. I was happy and they were happy for me, and they were gracious enough to swallow their pride, and smile until they got over it. Of course there are cultural differences between me and my wife, I enjoy my culture, and I love learning about her's as well. Our children are learning both cultures, and will be able to decide their own paths to walk. (Shock to another one of our posters--My wife is not fat, doesn't carry extra baggage, and wasn't a single mom. Nor is she a trophy wife to me...I love her because of who she is, its only bonus that she is cute^^) (Actually, the implication that black men that date white women are only taking out the white man's trash is not only dead wrong but also VERY offensive) Anyway to conclude, It hasn't been easy for my wife and I, though it does get easier as time passes. And even though we still occasionally see people whispering and finger pointing we couldn't be happier. It has been hard, but it seems the more hard times we have the closer we become.
The moral: Fight for what you want
PS- While I believe its wrong for people to be AGAINST interracial dating, I have no problem with people that don't. You are attracted to what you are attracted to--to each his own. However, when you start to supress your feelings for someone because they are a different race.....that's when it becomes a problem
Black, White, Aisan, Indian. Doesn't matter. Its my duty, to please that booty. (Been looking for a reason to say that ever since I saw shaft.) Anyway. Things have come a LONG way. I am the product of a interracial marriage. My father is black and my mother is white. I my self am married to a white woman. The stories my parents used to tell me about what they went through cant even begin to compare to what my wife and I went through. My wifes father didn't like me, My mothers father tried to have my father killed. Times have changed.
Originally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Originally posted by ladylore Originally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Originally posted by ladylore Originally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
Originally posted by ladylore Originally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Originally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Quoted for Truth
People have a hard time giving up their stereotypes, even when it comes to their own happiness. Ruling out a whole race or culture can be like fishing with dynamite, you may eliminate someone you'd wished you hadn't.
I agree though, people aren't so easily identified by their race or culture. People are much more complex than that, at least that is what I've found. Feel free to make broad, sweeping generalizations though....free country and all that.
Originally posted by Cryomatrix In general I am not attracted African-American features nor am I attracted to asians. I may find some asians attractive, but I woudn't date an asian girl, well not true, but it wouldn't be the first place I'd look. I date what I like, and it just so happens that I tend to not like African-American girls nor indian nor asian. But I DO LOVE LATINA, gotta love the latina chicks. BRING IT ON DOWN.
Also, Arab isn't a race, Arabs fall under caucasian. If you're confused on what an Arab is, it is someone who speaks arabic that is usaully from the middle east.
Pakistani's are not arabs, people from afghanistan are not arab, people from turkey or Iran are not arabs. The three races are caucozoid, negroid, and mongoloid (for asian)
Arabs fall under caucasian. i may be wrong but pakistani's fall under mongoloid.
I dunno man, I'm pretty sure I remember it that way. Arab being 1 of 3 races. I kept all of my books and notes from college, but I'm too lazy to pull out boxes and dig for it. Grrr, you're making my head hurt now. heh
Originally posted by Rollotamasi
Originally posted by ladylore Originally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes? I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
You know what? You're right, well, Chris Rock is anyways. I've heard this a lot from my black friends. I mean we all laugh at it because he is a comedian, but I really think he was being pretty logical.
I don't have any black friends outside of the military but I can see the two cultures are different. For example, and fit your own demographic location here, but I'm from the south. So I think the southern culture of whites is the same as blacks. I mean, hell, I was raised on greens, grits, everything was cooked in bacon grease, cornbread, etc. But also, the same morals/religion and what not. In that aspect, whites and blacks are the same in the south, or at least pretty similar. But like Chris rock said you have two sides. That would be this new "gangsta" image/culture, which I think is really hurting blacks. And of course, that's all we (blacks and whites) see on the news or read about, or listen to in music.
The blacks stood up and said, hey, i want to be represented and do something for the black community. They are in leadership positions, hold public office on all levels and really have brought thier communities what they need. But It's seems to be a smaller culture. The "niggaz" as Chris Rock says, is a growing culture that is over-shadowing the "old timers". They want image, they want to be a rapper or play basketball, not hold public office or a leadership position. And that's why I think they are hurting blacks. There isn't enough younger blacks that are interested in stepping up and carrying on with what black leaders have been building for them.
Originally posted by nakedone Originally posted by Cryomatrix In general I am not attracted African-American features nor am I attracted to asians. I may find some asians attractive, but I woudn't date an asian girl, well not true, but it wouldn't be the first place I'd look. I date what I like, and it just so happens that I tend to not like African-American girls nor indian nor asian. But I DO LOVE LATINA, gotta love the latina chicks. BRING IT ON DOWN. Also, Arab isn't a race, Arabs fall under caucasian. If you're confused on what an Arab is, it is someone who speaks arabic that is usaully from the middle east. Pakistani's are not arabs, people from afghanistan are not arab, people from turkey or Iran are not arabs. The three races are caucozoid, negroid, and mongoloid (for asian)Arabs fall under caucasian. i may be wrong but pakistani's fall under mongoloid. I dunno man, I'm pretty sure I remember it that way. Arab being 1 of 3 races. I kept all of my books and notes from college, but I'm too lazy to pull out boxes and dig for it. Grrr, you're making my head hurt now. hehOriginally posted by RollotamasiOriginally posted by ladylore Originally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes? I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs. Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
You know what? You're right, well, Chris Rock is anyways. I've heard this a lot from my black friends. I mean we all laugh at it because he is a comedian, but I really think he was being pretty logical.
I don't have any black friends outside of the military but I can see the two cultures are different. For example, and fit your own demographic location here, but I'm from the south. So I think the southern culture of whites is the same as blacks. I mean, hell, I was raised on greens, grits, everything was cooked in bacon grease, cornbread, etc. But also, the same morals/religion and what not. In that aspect, whites and blacks are the same in the south, or at least pretty similar. But like Chris rock said you have two sides. That would be this new "gangsta" image/culture, which I think is really hurting blacks. And of course, that's all we (blacks and whites) see on the news or read about, or listen to in music.
The blacks stood up and said, hey, i want to be represented and do something for the black community. They are in leadership positions, hold public office on all levels and really have brought thier communities what they need. But It's seems to be a smaller culture. The "niggaz" as Chris Rock says, is a growing culture that is over-shadowing the "old timers". They want image, they want to be a rapper or play basketball, not hold public office or a leadership position. And that's why I think they are hurting blacks. There isn't enough younger blacks that are interested in stepping up and carrying on with what black leaders have been building for them.
That is true, and for anyone down south who never have eaten grits before.... You have put his words into depth and I agree with you.
Originally posted by Cryomatrix In general I am not attracted African-American features nor am I attracted to asians. I may find some asians attractive, but I woudn't date an asian girl, well not true, but it wouldn't be the first place I'd look. I date what I like, and it just so happens that I tend to not like African-American girls nor indian nor asian. But I DO LOVE LATINA, gotta love the latina chicks. BRING IT ON DOWN.
Also, Arab isn't a race, Arabs fall under caucasian. If you're confused on what an Arab is, it is someone who speaks arabic that is usaully from the middle east. Pakistani's are not arabs, people from afghanistan are not arab, people from turkey or Iran are not arabs. The three races are caucozoid, negroid, and mongoloid (for asian) Arabs fall under caucasian. i may be wrong but pakistani's fall under mongoloid.
I dunno man, I'm pretty sure I remember it that way. Arab being 1 of 3 races. I kept all of my books and notes from college, but I'm too lazy to pull out boxes and dig for it. Grrr, you're making my head hurt now. heh
Originally posted by Rollotamasi
Originally posted by ladylore Originally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes? I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs. Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
You know what? You're right, well, Chris Rock is anyways. I've heard this a lot from my black friends. I mean we all laugh at it because he is a comedian, but I really think he was being pretty logical.
I don't have any black friends outside of the military but I can see the two cultures are different. For example, and fit your own demographic location here, but I'm from the south. So I think the southern culture of whites is the same as blacks. I mean, hell, I was raised on greens, grits, everything was cooked in bacon grease, cornbread, etc. But also, the same morals/religion and what not. In that aspect, whites and blacks are the same in the south, or at least pretty similar. But like Chris rock said you have two sides. That would be this new "gangsta" image/culture, which I think is really hurting blacks. And of course, that's all we (blacks and whites) see on the news or read about, or listen to in music.
The blacks stood up and said, hey, i want to be represented and do something for the black community. They are in leadership positions, hold public office on all levels and really have brought thier communities what they need. But It's seems to be a smaller culture. The "niggaz" as Chris Rock says, is a growing culture that is over-shadowing the "old timers". They want image, they want to be a rapper or play basketball, not hold public office or a leadership position. And that's why I think they are hurting blacks. There isn't enough younger blacks that are interested in stepping up and carrying on with what black leaders have been building for them.
While I don't disagree with your sentiment, I think you may be wrong to think there aren't young blacks who are trying to better their communities. It goes back to the media, and the portrayal of blacks as gangsta rap wannabes. You say you have black friends, I don't any of them are gangsta wannabes. You also have this prime example of how the media portrays blacks in this recent NBA "brawl". This story was covered for several days and I heard the words, thug, gangsta, uneducated, undeserving rich boys, etc. etc... But what actually happened? I saw a hard foul and 2 guys got into it a bit, which happens all the time. 1 guy pushed one of the 2 who were already heated, and some pushing happened. Only 1 punch was actually thrown and landed, while the vast majority of those involved were trying to break it up. Then you have the media talking about how this is a referendum on what the NBA culture is about, and I have no doubt in my mind that it was race driven. I mean the guy who threw the punch, Carmello Anthony had just opened a youth center a few days before with his own money. The way people talked about it it was as though someone got shot or beat to a pulp or something.
.....I digress...
Make your opinions after you meet and talk to someone, not from what you see on tv or wherever. You may think you know a culture, but you really don't until you live it for yourself.
Originally posted by Akunai Originally posted by nakedoneOriginally posted by CryomatrixIn general I am not attracted African-American features nor am I attracted to asians. I may find some asians attractive, but I woudn't date an asian girl, well not true, but it wouldn't be the first place I'd look. I date what I like, and it just so happens that I tend to not like African-American girls nor indian nor asian. But I DO LOVE LATINA, gotta love the latina chicks. BRING IT ON DOWN. Also, Arab isn't a race, Arabs fall under caucasian. If you're confused on what an Arab is, it is someone who speaks arabic that is usaully from the middle east. Pakistani's are not arabs, people from afghanistan are not arab, people from turkey or Iran are not arabs. The three races are caucozoid, negroid, and mongoloid (for asian) Arabs fall under caucasian. i may be wrong but pakistani's fall under mongoloid. I dunno man, I'm pretty sure I remember it that way. Arab being 1 of 3 races. I kept all of my books and notes from college, but I'm too lazy to pull out boxes and dig for it. Grrr, you're making my head hurt now. hehOriginally posted by Rollotamasi Originally posted by ladyloreOriginally posted by merv808 It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.)
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes? I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs. Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
You know what? You're right, well, Chris Rock is anyways. I've heard this a lot from my black friends. I mean we all laugh at it because he is a comedian, but I really think he was being pretty logical. I don't have any black friends outside of the military but I can see the two cultures are different. For example, and fit your own demographic location here, but I'm from the south. So I think the southern culture of whites is the same as blacks. I mean, hell, I was raised on greens, grits, everything was cooked in bacon grease, cornbread, etc. But also, the same morals/religion and what not. In that aspect, whites and blacks are the same in the south, or at least pretty similar. But like Chris rock said you have two sides. That would be this new "gangsta" image/culture, which I think is really hurting blacks. And of course, that's all we (blacks and whites) see on the news or read about, or listen to in music. The blacks stood up and said, hey, i want to be represented and do something for the black community. They are in leadership positions, hold public office on all levels and really have brought thier communities what they need. But It's seems to be a smaller culture. The "niggaz" as Chris Rock says, is a growing culture that is over-shadowing the "old timers". They want image, they want to be a rapper or play basketball, not hold public office or a leadership position. And that's why I think they are hurting blacks. There isn't enough younger blacks that are interested in stepping up and carrying on with what black leaders have been building for them.
While I don't disagree with your sentiment, I think you may be wrong to think there aren't young blacks who are trying to better their communities. It goes back to the media, and the portrayal of blacks as gangsta rap wannabes. You say you have black friends, I don't any of them are gangsta wannabes. You also have this prime example of how the media portrays blacks in this recent NBA "brawl". This story was covered for several days and I heard the words, thug, gangsta, uneducated, undeserving rich boys, etc. etc... But what actually happened? I saw a hard foul and 2 guys got into it a bit, which happens all the time. 1 guy pushed one of the 2 who were already heated, and some pushing happened. Only 1 punch was actually thrown and landed, while the vast majority of those involved were trying to break it up. Then you have the media talking about how this is a referendum on what the NBA culture is about, and I have no doubt in my mind that it was race driven. I mean the guy who threw the punch, Carmello Anthony had just opened a youth center a few days before with his own money. The way people talked about it it was as though someone got shot or beat to a pulp or something. .....I digress... Make your opinions after you meet and talk to someone, not from what you see on tv or wherever. You may think you know a culture, but you really don't until you live it for yourself.
Well, I don't know what's going on in basketball. I don't even watch that much t.v. and stopped watching the news because I think it's biased. I only made my statement based on what I've learned. I've lived in all parts of the U.S. and lived/been to 30 or so countries around the world, I observed lots of cultures. Nothing I've said was based on some basketball game. Even if this topic was about basketball, I don't even know enough to make a comment about it.
I didn't blindly make comments either. Though I started to say something about my black friends in the military, I forgot to actually make my point (lol). But I guess what I was going to say was that, I ask them all kinds of questions about what we are discussing in this thread and even more. There is a different bond amongst us that is different than the average white guy asking a black co-worker at Wal-mart about why blacks do this or why do whites do that. Because a discussion like this would never happen like that. Plus whites think everything about blacks is too "taboo" to talk about. There really isn't anything in words that can describe that bond. But we never looked at each other as oh, he's a whiteboy, or oh he's black. Never saying that it never happens but we never really think about race. We were all the same. And we shared the same opinions when we see or hear something on the news or whatever. For example, black on black shootings is way out of control. And when blacks say "oh man, I'm poor, it's all I have to survive" etc. That's bullshit, and my black friends think so too. Just because my black friends aren't "thugs" doesn't mean they don't know black culture either, that's just silly. This isn't anything that I would consider proving that "I know black cultures", but I think I've lived with and been around them enough to understand them, and I can make my opinions about both lifestyles/cultures (whatever you want to call it) without making friends with the ones that want to live that "gangsta" lifestyle. You're just going to have try and take my word for it, if not, then nothing I can say on the internet can convice you that I know what I'm talking about.
Also, I didn't say that there isn't any younger blacks that want to be leaders in thier community or hold public office, I said there isn't as many as there use to be or what there is now. Also on that, there should be even more than what there is now. The foundation has been laid by black leaders past and present and I just feel that the majority of the younger black generation isn't willing to build on that. And if you know a black man/woman in your area that is trying to, then great, but that is still a small percentage to what it should be.
But it really isn't my business what blacks do. Not because I'm white, but because blacks want to fix thier own communities themselves. But they need more black leaders to do it, not just the local church or whatnot. I think it's pretty obvious that just throwing people in jail isn't going to solve the problems in black communities
nakedone, I wasn't trying to say you yourself had no knowledge of black culture. Just saying that the image most people have of black culture is not true. I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I wouldn't assume anything like that. Afterall, people are complex on an individual basis. Sorry that I didn't make that clear.
I used the NBA situation as an example of how the media like to portray blacks, and the frequency at which things like that are shown. These things get a lot of press and people get that idea of what black culture is, since for them that is their only contact.
This part is directed to you though. You say that you don't have to live the lifestyle to make your opinions about it, but then you say that the people you call "thugs", living poor and violent, are making excuses or "bullshit". How could you know that? A few black guys told you so? I would guess they haven't lived it either. Trust me, it isn't so simple to get out of that lifestyle and it isn't something you can just get away from. I'm getting a little off topic though.
Just out of curiosity, how would you know if there were black leaders doing anything if you don't watch the news? If they were, how would you know? I know in my area we have a black mayor by the name of Adrian Fenty who is doing great things. I doubt anyone has ever heard of him, but maybe when people get tired of Obama you might. Just because we hear the most about some rapper getting shot or shooting someone, doesn't mean the guy selling rocks to feed his family cares about it. I will never figure out why people think blacks are so easily influenced by rap lyrics. I seriously doubt you will found a gangsta/drug dealer who attributes their life to an inspirational rap song.
All I wanted to say is this though. Every culture has it's good and bad. You can choose to look at one or the other and use it to base your decisions on that culture as a whole, or you can look at the person in front of you for who they are.
wow. i can't believe a parent actually said that. >__< wonder whats with them at the races.. it's still the same.. (person, talking one headed,two handed dude)
I would be awestruck; unable to even say anything. Ayumi is too much! You know, look is not that important. But sometimes...it even become a hindrance!
Taming me for a girl like Ayumi would be a challenge, I would prolly panick and run away! And then hate myself for the remaining of my life!
The black girls you mention wouldn't interest me a moment, I dunno, something about their attitude. I can't afford it, just like I would never consider Madonna, Paris Hilton, BB or Angelina, they may be nice looking, but can't stand the attitude. Just the way they stand, you know it, first glance!
- "If I understand you well, you are telling me until next time. " - Ren
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I am a black woman, and though I am happily married to a black man, I have dated outside of my race, and would consider it again should I have the misfortune of becoming single in the future. Even though I know I'd have to overcome the initial backlash from my family if I were to bring a white guy home.
I remember the first time I realized that I was raised to be romantically prejudiced against whites. I was only 12 years old, and a blonde, blue-haired classmate and I were pretty chummy. There was a moment once when he tried to kiss me, and I actually pushed him away and said that there was no way that I was going to give my first kiss to a white boy, even though deep down I'd had a crush on him. *laughs* Even though I went to a predominately white school, I'd had this in my head. When I thought about it later on, I was so embarrassed by my own reaction, that I avoided the boy for the rest of the school year. I intentionally stopped being color struck ever since.
Like a few other people said, it isn't really about looks or skin color, but rather about personality and interests that's compatible with me. I guess I just can't understand people who say that they aren't attracted to ALL dark skinned or light-skinned people, or only like blondes, or etc. etc. I'm attracted to a soul, a personality, a mind. Not hair texture/color or skin pigmentation.
This is the first time that I've dared to click on this thread....after reading your story Riki, it's pretty sad that some parents talk to their kids like that. My sister's fiance's parents told him before he went to high school "now son, we know that there are going to be a lot of girls there and you are going to want to date, but don't date outside your race okay?" His parents are pretty crazy though, so if they are the kind of parents that say things like that to their kids, I don't think that you have much to worry about. Just to give an example of why they are crazy, they go to a church that has all members sign a form that says that they will only have sex in the missionary position, and that God abhores any instrument that is not the piano. Pretty crazy right?
Anyway, I've never been attracted to a black girl myself, even women like Halle Berry that are supposedly super hot, I just find myself not attracted to. It's not a result of any kind of parental influence either, because my parents never taught me anything about how I shouldn't date "outside my race" It's just a personal preference I guess.
Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.
Technically speaking, and this is from 2 different college classes, there are only 3 races. Caucasian, Black, and Arab. With Asian and Hispanic within Caucasian. When it's broken down further from the 3 races, it is a social identity that people want to belong to to call thier own over the centuries.
But I think to each is own. Everyone is entitled to thier beliefs. Everyone reguardless of color, will be raised differently.
I personally am not attracted to women outside my race except maybe Hispanic women. Does that make me racist? Probably to liberals. But the average Joe? No.
As for white women, I see they are really pressured about interracial dating. A lot that I know, or lived with , or dated myself are not attracted to black men at all. Yet when approached by a black man, they are accused of being racist if they don't want to "hook up". And that's what is wrong.
I have lots of black friends. My perception of black guys with white girls have been this. The white girl is usually fat, and more than likely to have extra baggage. Meaning a single mom, or something in her past that keeps white guys away. So I ask the guys why do you [black] guys chase after white girls all the time? Why are they always fat etc.. They said a few reasons that i'm not gonna share here, but to sugar coat it, there isn't so much drama with white girls. The other reason is that white girls are like a trophy to them. They do it to make a statement and for that other reason, that I'm not sharing. Guess you'll have to make some black friends to get that answer yourself heh. I don't think they're bad guys at all, even having heard all of that. I still think they can do better than a fat white girl that hasn't been laid in years.
With todays way of thinking. Lots of people don't like to be labeled. Especially the younger crowd. I think the term "racist" is thrown around too much, and it's uncalled for in instances such as trying to get a girls' number just because she'll give it up out of fear of being labeled. If that's the new way for dudes to hook up with chicks then they need to go home and rethink thier life.
I'll admit, I have my biases. Recently I've been very biased against women from other ethnicities. There was this cute asian girl I wanted to date, but I could never get to know her because she was always with her vietnamese friends speaking vietnamese. It made her hard to get to know, even after I already made the approach. More recently, there was a hispanic girl. She was very nice, and friendly, even though she had a kid I was still interested. She skirted around the subject of a boyfriend, but eventually said it or let it slip. And he's hispanic, so...
Trying to break that cultural barrier, particularly the self-imposed ones can be very difficult.
As for my baises, I don't want to date hispanic or black women. Black women generally aren't attractive to me, though I'll make an exception for Halle Berry, but I don't think that applies.
For me its looks, I am just not attracted to how a black female looks...except some.
Also, Arab isn't a race, Arabs fall under caucasian. If you're confused on what an Arab is, it is someone who speaks arabic that is usaully from the middle east.
Pakistani's are not arabs, people from afghanistan are not arab, people from turkey or Iran are not arabs. The three races are caucozoid, negroid, and mongoloid (for asian)
Arabs fall under caucasian. i may be wrong but pakistani's fall under mongoloid.
Overall, I don't think it is a problem to not want to date other races nor is it racist to feel that way. It's a free country, if i choose to date other races it's cool and if i do not choose to date other races it is also cool. Personal preference.
Let's put myself in another person's shoes, let's say my Son comes home with:
a latina chick = I wouldn't care as long as she has the general characteristics in a person that I like (like virtues)
a jewish chick = I'd like to hear his explanation on this one but then again her virtues are most important
an asian chick = I wouldn't like it honestly, but I could get over it and it's not that big of a deal.
an indian chick = As long as the general characteristics were good, it wouldn't be a problem
A black chick = no problem as long as characteristics and virtues were okay
An obese chick = I'd be like, hell no bitch
In all honesty, I can't help but say that as a father I'd probably prefer my son come home with someone of like race, creed, and upbringing, I can't see how others wouldn't think it's the most preferable as you know the culture and such and that marriage is hard enough without complicating it with race issues and such. Race is an issue for me but it's by no means an important factor, but I would take it into account.
The way the girl thinks and acts is by way more important than race, but i'll honestly say that the race matters to me to a certain degree.
Cryomatrix
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Well, since my previous pst got deleted, I guess I'll rephrase. The father is not to blame in this situation. The generally racist south is at fault here, and I think the father is making a completely rational suggestion.
In my previous post, I went into a bit more detail, but I'll just leave it at that.
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Strictly, Pakistanis are Indo-European, of the Indo-Aryan branch. They have more in common racially and lingustically with a Welshman or a Russian than they do an Arab. So that makes them Caucasian.
Arabs are of the "Afro-Asiatic/Semitic" branch, like Hebrews, Maltese and Ethiopians.
Soooo you think black culture needs to "move forward"? because Blacks are the only ones who speak with intentionally broken english? Get r done? Or the only people who dress funny? or just because of the music?
I know you didn't really mean it like that though... I'm just givin you a hard time... But i truly suggest you try another culture... Mixing cultures is beautifull... And maybe you can learn something that you can appreciate about rap... and you can share ...country? with the girl...
I guess that last line didn't come out the way I intended. And by culture moving forward I mean as a whole, once the whole rap thing stops being popular. And I'm not exactly a fan of the hicks either
I have mixed cultures before, trust me I'm no white supremecist lol... I've been out with a couple different asian chicks. There aren't a lot of black girls where I live (its like .001 percent or somethin crazy like that) so maybe I just haven't met the right ones.
I am a black man and I am married to a white woman. We have been married for 4 years (together for 8). So, I think I can speak intelligently on the subject. First off, I kinda understand what the girl's father said. For my wife and I, it has NOT been easy, when we first got together people would point and whisper all the time. White people would assume that I was unemployed and living off of her, and blacks would assume that I picked a white girl because it was easier. However, the father should have explained how hard it is to his daughter said something along the lines of, "make sure you're willing to deal with these things if you're gonna date a black guy". Then I wouldn't have a problem with what he said.
It should also be known that my father-in-law did not want me to date his daughter. He assumed that a black man would bring her nothing but grief. After I talked to him a few times...He realized that I was a nice guy with ambition, goals, and ideas. He also saw that I wasn't a thug, didn't sag my pants, and didn't purposefully use broken english...(Some of the posters here won't believe this but many blacks don't fit in this box-these things are NOT what defines being black.) Eventually, we started to get along. Now, I am not referred to as a son-in-law, but a son.
My family on the other hand, was a little apprehensive about me dating a white girl. Although, my family works different. I was happy and they were happy for me, and they were gracious enough to swallow their pride, and smile until they got over it.
Of course there are cultural differences between me and my wife, I enjoy my culture, and I love learning about her's as well. Our children are learning both cultures, and will be able to decide their own paths to walk. (Shock to another one of our posters--My wife is not fat, doesn't carry extra baggage, and wasn't a single mom. Nor is she a trophy wife to me...I love her because of who she is, its only bonus that she is cute^^) (Actually, the implication that black men that date white women are only taking out the white man's trash is not only dead wrong but also VERY offensive)
Anyway to conclude, It hasn't been easy for my wife and I, though it does get easier as time passes. And even though we still occasionally see people whispering and finger pointing we couldn't be happier. It has been hard, but it seems the more hard times we have the closer we become.
The moral: Fight for what you want
PS- While I believe its wrong for people to be AGAINST interracial dating, I have no problem with people that don't. You are attracted to what you are attracted to--to each his own. However, when you start to supress your feelings for someone because they are a different race.....that's when it becomes a problem
-Currently looking forward to FFXIV
-Currently playing EvE and Global Agenda
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Agreed
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
-Currently looking forward to FFXIV
-Currently playing EvE and Global Agenda
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Quoted for Truth
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Merv, I don't think it is that some of the posters here WON'T believe it, but rather they just don't know any better. If they live in an area where there are very few blacks and so they have to go off of what they see in the media, or live where most of the blacks live in poverty and ignorance (like Detroit and Milwaukee for example) how else are they going to know that very many of us don't fit into those stereotypes?
I always find it odd when people on these boards talk about this "black culture" as if it somehow makes me foreign to them. I don't like baggy pants, I know how to speak proper english, I am not violent or like my men violent, I have never been on welfare nor was I raised on it, etc. etc. There's a lot more cultural overlap between all of the races than there are differences. Including our love for MMORPGs.
Quoted for Truth
People have a hard time giving up their stereotypes, even when it comes to their own happiness. Ruling out a whole race or culture can be like fishing with dynamite, you may eliminate someone you'd wished you hadn't.
I agree though, people aren't so easily identified by their race or culture. People are much more complex than that, at least that is what I've found. Feel free to make broad, sweeping generalizations though....free country and all that.
You know what? You're right, well, Chris Rock is anyways. I've heard this a lot from my black friends. I mean we all laugh at it because he is a comedian, but I really think he was being pretty logical.
I don't have any black friends outside of the military but I can see the two cultures are different. For example, and fit your own demographic location here, but I'm from the south. So I think the southern culture of whites is the same as blacks. I mean, hell, I was raised on greens, grits, everything was cooked in bacon grease, cornbread, etc. But also, the same morals/religion and what not. In that aspect, whites and blacks are the same in the south, or at least pretty similar. But like Chris rock said you have two sides. That would be this new "gangsta" image/culture, which I think is really hurting blacks. And of course, that's all we (blacks and whites) see on the news or read about, or listen to in music.
The blacks stood up and said, hey, i want to be represented and do something for the black community. They are in leadership positions, hold public office on all levels and really have brought thier communities what they need. But It's seems to be a smaller culture. The "niggaz" as Chris Rock says, is a growing culture that is over-shadowing the "old timers". They want image, they want to be a rapper or play basketball, not hold public office or a leadership position. And that's why I think they are hurting blacks. There isn't enough younger blacks that are interested in stepping up and carrying on with what black leaders have been building for them.
Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
You know what? You're right, well, Chris Rock is anyways. I've heard this a lot from my black friends. I mean we all laugh at it because he is a comedian, but I really think he was being pretty logical.
I don't have any black friends outside of the military but I can see the two cultures are different. For example, and fit your own demographic location here, but I'm from the south. So I think the southern culture of whites is the same as blacks. I mean, hell, I was raised on greens, grits, everything was cooked in bacon grease, cornbread, etc. But also, the same morals/religion and what not. In that aspect, whites and blacks are the same in the south, or at least pretty similar. But like Chris rock said you have two sides. That would be this new "gangsta" image/culture, which I think is really hurting blacks. And of course, that's all we (blacks and whites) see on the news or read about, or listen to in music.
The blacks stood up and said, hey, i want to be represented and do something for the black community. They are in leadership positions, hold public office on all levels and really have brought thier communities what they need. But It's seems to be a smaller culture. The "niggaz" as Chris Rock says, is a growing culture that is over-shadowing the "old timers". They want image, they want to be a rapper or play basketball, not hold public office or a leadership position. And that's why I think they are hurting blacks. There isn't enough younger blacks that are interested in stepping up and carrying on with what black leaders have been building for them.
That is true, and for anyone down south who never have eaten grits before.... You have put his words into depth and I agree with you.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
You know what? You're right, well, Chris Rock is anyways. I've heard this a lot from my black friends. I mean we all laugh at it because he is a comedian, but I really think he was being pretty logical.
I don't have any black friends outside of the military but I can see the two cultures are different. For example, and fit your own demographic location here, but I'm from the south. So I think the southern culture of whites is the same as blacks. I mean, hell, I was raised on greens, grits, everything was cooked in bacon grease, cornbread, etc. But also, the same morals/religion and what not. In that aspect, whites and blacks are the same in the south, or at least pretty similar. But like Chris rock said you have two sides. That would be this new "gangsta" image/culture, which I think is really hurting blacks. And of course, that's all we (blacks and whites) see on the news or read about, or listen to in music.
The blacks stood up and said, hey, i want to be represented and do something for the black community. They are in leadership positions, hold public office on all levels and really have brought thier communities what they need. But It's seems to be a smaller culture. The "niggaz" as Chris Rock says, is a growing culture that is over-shadowing the "old timers". They want image, they want to be a rapper or play basketball, not hold public office or a leadership position. And that's why I think they are hurting blacks. There isn't enough younger blacks that are interested in stepping up and carrying on with what black leaders have been building for them.
While I don't disagree with your sentiment, I think you may be wrong to think there aren't young blacks who are trying to better their communities. It goes back to the media, and the portrayal of blacks as gangsta rap wannabes. You say you have black friends, I don't any of them are gangsta wannabes. You also have this prime example of how the media portrays blacks in this recent NBA "brawl". This story was covered for several days and I heard the words, thug, gangsta, uneducated, undeserving rich boys, etc. etc... But what actually happened? I saw a hard foul and 2 guys got into it a bit, which happens all the time. 1 guy pushed one of the 2 who were already heated, and some pushing happened. Only 1 punch was actually thrown and landed, while the vast majority of those involved were trying to break it up. Then you have the media talking about how this is a referendum on what the NBA culture is about, and I have no doubt in my mind that it was race driven. I mean the guy who threw the punch, Carmello Anthony had just opened a youth center a few days before with his own money. The way people talked about it it was as though someone got shot or beat to a pulp or something.
.....I digress...
Make your opinions after you meet and talk to someone, not from what you see on tv or wherever. You may think you know a culture, but you really don't until you live it for yourself.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Chris Rock said it best. "Theres a civil war going on in America. On one side theres black people, and on the other side theres niggaz. I love black people, But I hate niggaz"
You know what? You're right, well, Chris Rock is anyways. I've heard this a lot from my black friends. I mean we all laugh at it because he is a comedian, but I really think he was being pretty logical.
I don't have any black friends outside of the military but I can see the two cultures are different. For example, and fit your own demographic location here, but I'm from the south. So I think the southern culture of whites is the same as blacks. I mean, hell, I was raised on greens, grits, everything was cooked in bacon grease, cornbread, etc. But also, the same morals/religion and what not. In that aspect, whites and blacks are the same in the south, or at least pretty similar. But like Chris rock said you have two sides. That would be this new "gangsta" image/culture, which I think is really hurting blacks. And of course, that's all we (blacks and whites) see on the news or read about, or listen to in music.
The blacks stood up and said, hey, i want to be represented and do something for the black community. They are in leadership positions, hold public office on all levels and really have brought thier communities what they need. But It's seems to be a smaller culture. The "niggaz" as Chris Rock says, is a growing culture that is over-shadowing the "old timers". They want image, they want to be a rapper or play basketball, not hold public office or a leadership position. And that's why I think they are hurting blacks. There isn't enough younger blacks that are interested in stepping up and carrying on with what black leaders have been building for them.
While I don't disagree with your sentiment, I think you may be wrong to think there aren't young blacks who are trying to better their communities. It goes back to the media, and the portrayal of blacks as gangsta rap wannabes. You say you have black friends, I don't any of them are gangsta wannabes. You also have this prime example of how the media portrays blacks in this recent NBA "brawl". This story was covered for several days and I heard the words, thug, gangsta, uneducated, undeserving rich boys, etc. etc... But what actually happened? I saw a hard foul and 2 guys got into it a bit, which happens all the time. 1 guy pushed one of the 2 who were already heated, and some pushing happened. Only 1 punch was actually thrown and landed, while the vast majority of those involved were trying to break it up. Then you have the media talking about how this is a referendum on what the NBA culture is about, and I have no doubt in my mind that it was race driven. I mean the guy who threw the punch, Carmello Anthony had just opened a youth center a few days before with his own money. The way people talked about it it was as though someone got shot or beat to a pulp or something.
.....I digress...
Make your opinions after you meet and talk to someone, not from what you see on tv or wherever. You may think you know a culture, but you really don't until you live it for yourself.
Well, I don't know what's going on in basketball. I don't even watch that much t.v. and stopped watching the news because I think it's biased. I only made my statement based on what I've learned. I've lived in all parts of the U.S. and lived/been to 30 or so countries around the world, I observed lots of cultures. Nothing I've said was based on some basketball game. Even if this topic was about basketball, I don't even know enough to make a comment about it.
I didn't blindly make comments either. Though I started to say something about my black friends in the military, I forgot to actually make my point (lol). But I guess what I was going to say was that, I ask them all kinds of questions about what we are discussing in this thread and even more. There is a different bond amongst us that is different than the average white guy asking a black co-worker at Wal-mart about why blacks do this or why do whites do that. Because a discussion like this would never happen like that. Plus whites think everything about blacks is too "taboo" to talk about. There really isn't anything in words that can describe that bond. But we never looked at each other as oh, he's a whiteboy, or oh he's black. Never saying that it never happens but we never really think about race. We were all the same. And we shared the same opinions when we see or hear something on the news or whatever. For example, black on black shootings is way out of control. And when blacks say "oh man, I'm poor, it's all I have to survive" etc. That's bullshit, and my black friends think so too. Just because my black friends aren't "thugs" doesn't mean they don't know black culture either, that's just silly. This isn't anything that I would consider proving that "I know black cultures", but I think I've lived with and been around them enough to understand them, and I can make my opinions about both lifestyles/cultures (whatever you want to call it) without making friends with the ones that want to live that "gangsta" lifestyle. You're just going to have try and take my word for it, if not, then nothing I can say on the internet can convice you that I know what I'm talking about.
Also, I didn't say that there isn't any younger blacks that want to be leaders in thier community or hold public office, I said there isn't as many as there use to be or what there is now. Also on that, there should be even more than what there is now. The foundation has been laid by black leaders past and present and I just feel that the majority of the younger black generation isn't willing to build on that. And if you know a black man/woman in your area that is trying to, then great, but that is still a small percentage to what it should be.
But it really isn't my business what blacks do. Not because I'm white, but because blacks want to fix thier own communities themselves. But they need more black leaders to do it, not just the local church or whatnot. I think it's pretty obvious that just throwing people in jail isn't going to solve the problems in black communities
nakedone, I wasn't trying to say you yourself had no knowledge of black culture. Just saying that the image most people have of black culture is not true. I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I wouldn't assume anything like that. Afterall, people are complex on an individual basis. Sorry that I didn't make that clear.
I used the NBA situation as an example of how the media like to portray blacks, and the frequency at which things like that are shown. These things get a lot of press and people get that idea of what black culture is, since for them that is their only contact.
This part is directed to you though. You say that you don't have to live the lifestyle to make your opinions about it, but then you say that the people you call "thugs", living poor and violent, are making excuses or "bullshit". How could you know that? A few black guys told you so? I would guess they haven't lived it either. Trust me, it isn't so simple to get out of that lifestyle and it isn't something you can just get away from. I'm getting a little off topic though.
Just out of curiosity, how would you know if there were black leaders doing anything if you don't watch the news? If they were, how would you know? I know in my area we have a black mayor by the name of Adrian Fenty who is doing great things. I doubt anyone has ever heard of him, but maybe when people get tired of Obama you might. Just because we hear the most about some rapper getting shot or shooting someone, doesn't mean the guy selling rocks to feed his family cares about it. I will never figure out why people think blacks are so easily influenced by rap lyrics. I seriously doubt you will found a gangsta/drug dealer who attributes their life to an inspirational rap song.
All I wanted to say is this though. Every culture has it's good and bad. You can choose to look at one or the other and use it to base your decisions on that culture as a whole, or you can look at the person in front of you for who they are.
wonder whats with them at the races.. it's still the same.. (person, talking one headed,two handed dude)
H.&D.
I would be awestruck; unable to even say anything. Ayumi is too much! You know, look is not that important. But sometimes...it even become a hindrance!
Taming me for a girl like Ayumi would be a challenge, I would prolly panick and run away!
And then hate myself for the remaining of my life! 
The black girls you mention wouldn't interest me a moment, I dunno, something about their attitude. I can't afford it, just like I would never consider Madonna, Paris Hilton, BB or Angelina, they may be nice looking, but can't stand the attitude. Just the way they stand, you know it, first glance!
- "If I understand you well, you are telling me until next time. " - Ren