Can I point out the obvious that her comment is simply colored by the descriptive word "game?" People think they are "complicated" but often their perception of something is as simple as word choice, for example adults won't play games like children but rather show their prowess at sport.
On the other hand, if this fella was spending all his time doing horse riding then she would probably say "you would rather spend time with that animal than me?" which probably means she just wants him to stop doing something.
Or, he never spends time with me. He's always working.
I must really be bad then. I'll have a movie playing on the TV in the background while playing an MMO.
"We all do the best we can based on life experience, point of view, and our ability to believe in ourselves." - Naropa "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." SR Covey
If you are not playing the same game with your family members, you are ignoring them.
You can watch TV with your entire family, enjoy the same emotional experiences and socialize over it.
If you glaze over this potential difference, you will likely also miss seeing the nearing end of your relationships.
Heh that family is in the past. What you really have is most people staring at their phones while pretending to watch tv with family or eating dinner anymore.
The real issue is you need people that either have their own hobbies or that enjoy the same as you do. Same as the past, either you get along and support each other or you have issues much bigger than tv and gaming.
Wife: Aren't you too old to play video games? (I'm 38)
Me: Aren't you too old for story time? Oh, wait, they call that watching TV.
I'm so sick and tired of people thinking video gaming is more pathetic than TV. Literally, watching TV is akin to having someone tell you a story, it is just a visual story.
As opposed to all the multitasking and intense focus and learning required to play a game like Starcraft 2 successfully. Hell, even playing a sports game I think is better than silly TV.
Of course TV does teach you social skills to some degree that most people you interact with will have, but otherwise, seriously, TV is more childish than video games.
Cryomatrix p.s. I am probably super biased but you know.
Hmm I wonder how your wife would react to this post...from an outsiders perspective looks like you came here to complain about her.
Anyways as a married man I have to say it's not a great idea to come to an online forum to discuss something that should be talked about between the two of you only as this post tells me you definitely need to be sitting down and talking with your wife even if you don't seem to realize it.
Don't take this the wrong way as it's not meant to be mean or anything.
Brenics ~ Just to point out I do believe Chris Roberts is going down as the man who cheated backers and took down crowdfunding for gaming.
Games and TV are both forms of entertainment, so on the one hand it could be argued they are pretty equal.
That said, games are active entertainment whilst TV is passive. That means your chance of learning something and achieving some sort of personal growth is much higher when playing games as opposed to watching TV. (knowledge learned from passive sources is rarely retained for very long, it is only when we put knowledge into practice that it really sticks).
So, from a purely personal point of view, games are vastly superior to watching TV, because they lead to more personal growth.
But, as others have pointed out, TV can be a bonding experience. Whilst what you watch is unlikely to help you grow as a person, the discussions with friends and family about what you watch can be great for developing relationships and growing in a social sense. This is helped by the fact that what you watch on TV will be identical to someone else, so when you discuss it you have the same data. Games, on the other hand, provide individual experiences, both in terms of the way you play the game and your own skill level. I might play the same game as you but have a completely different experience, which makes discussions harder.
Finally, sometimes we engage in entertainment purely to relax, not to have fun or to challenge ourselves. TV, requiring no brain power, is generally superior to games when it comes to relaxing as it gives both body and mind the downtime it needs. Personally, I'd still rather be playing games and if I need to relax, I'll just play an easy game :P
Currently Playing: WAR RoR - Spitt rr7X Black Orc | Scrotling rr6X Squig Herder | Scabrous rr4X Shaman
But sometimes it's worth all the money in the world.
Being with someone who supports and loves your hobbies and doesnt drive you insane with petty bullshit and their own insecurities is priceless
I upgraded about 15 years ago - never been happier
I'm guessing there were issues far beyond the perception of playing video games that made you walk away... at least I hope there was.
If the only issue I had with my wife was the amount of video games I played, it would be a non issue. Either she just didn't like the perception of me playing games, in which case she can get over herself, or me playing video games interfered with other responsibilities, at which point I have a problem, not my wife.
You could always ask does she want you to move on to pursuits more for men of your age...like hard drinking, gambling, extreme sports; plenty more to head of that mid-life crisis, car or motorcycle racing are always a hit with wives.
But sometimes it's worth all the money in the world.
Being with someone who supports and loves your hobbies and doesnt drive you insane with petty bullshit and their own insecurities is priceless
I upgraded about 15 years ago - never been happier
I'm guessing there were issues far beyond the perception of playing video games that made you walk away... at least I hope there was.
If the only issue I had with my wife was the amount of video games I played, it would be a non issue. Either she just didn't like the perception of me playing games, in which case she can get over herself, or me playing video games interfered with other responsibilities, at which point I have a problem, not my wife.
To that point, I've rarely ever dated women who played/liked video games. And they usually just accepted it and it wasn't an issue.
However, I always make sure that I have a certain amount of time set aside to spend with them. Or friends. It's all about how one balances time. Also I like to put in a bit of "me" time.
Like Skyrim? Need more content? Try my Skyrim mod "Godfred's Tomb."
When I was a kid.. my parents not only bought me the newest consoles, but they also would watch me play and play with me sometimes.
When I was dating, one of my favorite date spots was an adult arcade, and it would be very telling whether the woman I was with could let go and have fun playing different types of games with me.
When I got married, I married a woman who loves to play mario kart, pokemon and mobile gps games all the time.
There are so many types of games out there, that sometimes all it takes is bringing someone into your hobby for them to understand that games are for everyone, and they can be for your wife too.
Sometimes we as gamers also have to get past our bias of what we think is a "good game" in order to share it with our significant other.
Some people need a place to vent. As someone who has no family outside of my wife and my grandparents I understand that.
This website, for good or ill, gives a person feedback on gaming related problems and issues from the point of view of the gaming community. There aren't a lot of other places you can get that.
Ask a therapist about an angry wife trying to shut you down in a game - expect to be asked about feelings, your life growing up, whether you were breast fed, etc.
Post here and someone may ask "were you in a raid at the time?" You know. Stuff that matters.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
That said, games are active entertainment whilst TV is passive. That means your chance of learning something and achieving some sort of personal growth is much higher when playing games as opposed to watching TV. (knowledge learned from passive sources is rarely retained for very long, it is only when we put knowledge into practice that it really sticks).
I think the difference in social aspect between gaming and TV watching is overblown. I can't speak to it personally, but have you seen what some guilds are like? Both can be social, or not, depending on the execution. The perception is that gaming can't as social.
Along the same lines, personal growth from both also depends on execution. I owe my wonderful consulting career to TV shows like Macguyver and The A Team. Although imaginary, I internalized the little guy overcoming the big guy with ingenuity, not giving up before trying, and seeing things the way they really are lets you see things others miss.
I am confident that others have sort of experiences from TV.
Actually, in the very early days of television, there were instances of people rejecting the "devil's box". Pinball and pool (billiards) had similar hurdles to universal acceptance. It's probably a generational thing. They adapted. We're just seeing it up close. Part of the dues for being at the bleeding edge. (Could be worse, could involve actual bleeding).
You've got trouble! Right here in River City! That starts with "T" and rhymes with "P" and stands for POOL!
Sorry, couldn't help thinking of The Music Man
- Al
Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse. - FARGIN_WAR
"Wife: Aren't you too old to play video games? (I'm 38)"
You know, whenever I see this type of stuff in a relationship, basically anything similar, I tend to wonder about the level of respect that exists when one side complains.
Obviously there are two sides to every story. Maybe CryoM's wife is frustrated because of "something else" doesn't like video games in general and is just lashing out.
Maybe she doesn't feel like enough time is spent in the relationship. Whether it's an appropriate complaint or not. Some people want to spend every moment with their significant others and some are good with limited time.
Or maybe it's just a dig. An attack. A way to get under the other person's skin, fully knowing that it will push their buttons.
Which gets back to respect. The idea of essentially attacking another because of something they care about. While on one hand it's ok (in my eyes) to tease someone about their hobbies, it has to be done in a fun, non-judgmental way. It's ok to point out the ridiculous at times.
but when it's done in a way to denigrate the other partner, that's not ok. It doesn't show respect.
If I was dating a woman who collected mouse figurines I sure as heck wouldn't make her feel like crap for it. Why? To what end? It's only bullying. And if one really doesn't like it then why date/marry that person in the first place?
@Cryomatrix: haven't you mentioned that you work a LOT? I wonder if that has something to do with it. More than just games being something for kids. I wonder if there is an underlying complaint that needs to be looked at?
Like Skyrim? Need more content? Try my Skyrim mod "Godfred's Tomb."
well it turns out they were right about the "devils" box. No bomb can match its destructive power.
I dont know why you would bother fighting with a woman. Just because your not wrong doesnt mean you can win. Your logic will be constantly undermined by their self deception ( when i do it , its ok!)
instead give her a choice between hookers, cocaine and video games and shell get in line pretty quick.
I was more venting at the perception that people have of video games being childish, while not realizing that TV is akin to story time basically.
I mean, seriously, TV is just a bunch of stories in visual format.
Basically, i was more pissed at the fact that someone blasts video gaming when their main hobby is more childish in my mind. Of course it is opinion. I was venting about that.
I wasnt venting about the wife so much so the common perception that games are childish and TV is normal and an adult thing.
Catch me streaming at twitch.tv/cryomatrix You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations.
at least video games are active forms of entertainment like you actually do more than just sit, watching tv is literally just sitting, id rather be able to say I worked out my mind and hands than nothing lol.
I was more venting at the perception that people have of video games being childish, while not realizing that TV is akin to story time basically.
I mean, seriously, TV is just a bunch of stories in visual format.
Basically, i was more pissed at the fact that someone blasts video gaming when their main hobby is more childish in my mind. Of course it is opinion. I was venting about that.
I wasnt venting about the wife so much so the common perception that games are childish and TV is normal and an adult thing.
Yeah, but that's been going on for a while.
Honestly, I think it has more to do with the more "in the spotlight" people than the games themselves.
When you get groups of people who are looked at as/and possibly act like, "dorks" you are going to get people reacting to it negatively.
In any case, glad you and your family are "ok."
Like Skyrim? Need more content? Try my Skyrim mod "Godfred's Tomb."
Comments
I must really be bad then. I'll have a movie playing on the TV in the background while playing an MMO.
"We all do the best we can based on life experience, point of view, and our ability to believe in ourselves." - Naropa "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." SR Covey
I am somehow reminded of that when you post.
You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations.
The real issue is you need people that either have their own hobbies or that enjoy the same as you do. Same as the past, either you get along and support each other or you have issues much bigger than tv and gaming.
Brenics ~ Just to point out I do believe Chris Roberts is going down as the man who cheated backers and took down crowdfunding for gaming.
But, it is way more comfy to vent out, making up silly excuses to justify playing video games or even change his wife or w/e...
Ever met someone with an "addiction"?
However, I always make sure that I have a certain amount of time set aside to spend with them. Or friends. It's all about how one balances time. Also I like to put in a bit of "me" time.
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
@OP - I think your wife knows how to push your buttons to lead to hot angry sex....Enjoy.
Gut Out!
What, me worry?
When I was dating, one of my favorite date spots was an adult arcade, and it would be very telling whether the woman I was with could let go and have fun playing different types of games with me.
When I got married, I married a woman who loves to play mario kart, pokemon and mobile gps games all the time.
There are so many types of games out there, that sometimes all it takes is bringing someone into your hobby for them to understand that games are for everyone, and they can be for your wife too.
Sometimes we as gamers also have to get past our bias of what we think is a "good game" in order to share it with our significant other.
Ask a therapist about an angry wife trying to shut you down in a game - expect to be asked about feelings, your life growing up, whether you were breast fed, etc.
Post here and someone may ask "were you in a raid at the time?" You know. Stuff that matters.
EQ1, EQ2, SWG, SWTOR, GW, GW2 CoH, CoV, FFXI, WoW, CO, War,TSW and a slew of free trials and beta tests
Right here in River City!
That starts with "T"
and rhymes with "P"
and stands for POOL!
Sorry, couldn't help thinking of The Music Man
- Al
Personally the only modern MMORPG trend that annoys me is the idea that MMOs need to be designed in a way to attract people who don't actually like MMOs. Which to me makes about as much sense as someone trying to figure out a way to get vegetarians to eat at their steakhouse.- FARGIN_WAR
Gut Out!
What, me worry?
You know, whenever I see this type of stuff in a relationship, basically anything similar, I tend to wonder about the level of respect that exists when one side complains.
Obviously there are two sides to every story. Maybe CryoM's wife is frustrated because of "something else" doesn't like video games in general and is just lashing out.
Maybe she doesn't feel like enough time is spent in the relationship. Whether it's an appropriate complaint or not. Some people want to spend every moment with their significant others and some are good with limited time.
Or maybe it's just a dig. An attack. A way to get under the other person's skin, fully knowing that it will push their buttons.
Which gets back to respect. The idea of essentially attacking another because of something they care about. While on one hand it's ok (in my eyes) to tease someone about their hobbies, it has to be done in a fun, non-judgmental way. It's ok to point out the ridiculous at times.
but when it's done in a way to denigrate the other partner, that's not ok. It doesn't show respect.
If I was dating a woman who collected mouse figurines I sure as heck wouldn't make her feel like crap for it. Why? To what end? It's only bullying. And if one really doesn't like it then why date/marry that person in the first place?
@Cryomatrix: haven't you mentioned that you work a LOT? I wonder if that has something to do with it. More than just games being something for kids. I wonder if there is an underlying complaint that needs to be looked at?
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
I dont know why you would bother fighting with a woman. Just because your not wrong doesnt mean you can win. Your logic will be constantly undermined by their self deception ( when i do it , its ok!)
instead give her a choice between hookers, cocaine and video games and shell get in line pretty quick.
I mean, seriously, TV is just a bunch of stories in visual format.
Basically, i was more pissed at the fact that someone blasts video gaming when their main hobby is more childish in my mind. Of course it is opinion. I was venting about that.
I wasnt venting about the wife so much so the common perception that games are childish and TV is normal and an adult thing.
You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations.
I picture your full-time job to be one of the following:
1) serving people lawsuits and divorces
2) meter maid
3) owner of a mortuary
4) tax and debt collector
5) ambulance chasing lawyer
You can see my sci-fi/WW2 book recommendations.
Honestly, I think it has more to do with the more "in the spotlight" people than the games themselves.
When you get groups of people who are looked at as/and possibly act like, "dorks" you are going to get people reacting to it negatively.
In any case, glad you and your family are "ok."
Godfred's Tomb Trailer: https://youtu.be/-nsXGddj_4w
Original Skyrim: https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/109547
Serph toze kindly has started a walk-through. https://youtu.be/UIelCK-lldo
/Cheers,
Lahnmir
Kyleran on yours sincerely
'But there are many. You can play them entirely solo, and even offline. Also, you are wrong by default.'
Ikcin in response to yours sincerely debating whether or not single-player offline MMOs exist...
'This does not apply just to ED but SC or any other game. What they will get is Rebirth/X4, likely prettier but equally underwhelming and pointless.
It is incredibly difficult to design some meaningfull leg content that would fit a space ship game - simply because it is not a leg game.
It is just huge resource waste....'
Gdemami absolutely not being an armchair developer