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OMFG JESUS!!!!!
Morgue27
Member Posts: 14
My name is JESUS and to the cross I am stuck!
Staples in my wrists, and an ache in my gut.
I wear a nice diaper and a crown made of weeds,
They whip me up, regardless of my pleads!
My nice white dove just pecked out my eye,
I am JESUS, but why can't I fly!?
They stapled me up because they think im a fake,
Im the son of GOD for goodness sake!
God is watching from the safety of his cloud,
"Now whose JESUS!?" yells from the crowd.
Man this is boring and my wrists kinda hurt,
When I must pee, on the crowd I do spurt.
Ok, I've learned my lesson, time to let me down,
But the crowd just shouts, "not today, holy clown!"
My arms then come loose! My lucks turned around!
But my feet are still nailed, and don't head for the ground.
I dangle from my toes like a helpless rag doll,
The taunts from the crowd, "did you see that guy fall!?"
My feet finally give way, and im hurled to the floor!
Off into the horizon, of JESUS no more.
As I sprint into the distance, I realize one flaw,
My name is JESUS, yet I've broken the law.
My belly does rumble, and my nuts they do flap,
Into the desert! without looking back!
Why does GOD punish his child on Earth?
My life has been shit since the moment of birth.
Im now getting woozy from how much I have bled,
And the buzzards are circling over my head.
My life starting to fade, and my view going black,
My center finger to the sky, the favor gave back.
As my spirit now heads to the kingdom of bliss,
GOD's voice breaks in, "YOU INSOLENT PISS!"
"YOU GAVE ME THE FINGER!!! AND OF YOU I DID BOAST!!"
Because of this, im going to roast.
With a snap of his finger im headed to Hell,
Jokes on him, I ripped ass as I fell.
The devil now stabs me, and laughs as I scream,
My name is JESUS and I reign supreme!
I subdue Satan with a full nelson attack,
Up a random beanstalk, to heaven I climb back!
I get to the gates and the watch doesn't see,
I snap St. Peter's neck effortlessly
I scale the gate in a moment or two,
Now im in heaven! now theres damage to do!
God marches out, half naked in fact!
Anger in his eye, and an itch in his sack.
A bolt of lightning was expelled from his hand,
The magnitude propelled me into the sand.
In my mind, reality did flower,
I am JESUS, but I have no superpower
But I wasnt unarmed, I had a force to unload,
Horrible odors from deep in my chode!
I let my ass ring, as clear as a bell,
The smell was that which, that they feared in Hell.
The Creator did shutter and began to choke,
As my stink engulfed him, like a gaseous cloak.
He fell with a thud, GOD had been slain!
Now was my time to finally take reign!
Then GOD's body stood up as if it had not been phased,
So full of anger, his eyes became glazed.
He tore me to pieces in two seconds flat,
And stepped on my guts like a furry floor mat.
A smile then crossed his all-knowing face,
My gas could not kill, it was only like mace.
Then he bent over, ass as bright as the sun,
His fart blew me away, like a shot from a gun.
GOD was the victor, and JESUS no more,
But then GOD slipped on some splooge on the floor.
JESUS wasn't stupid, he laid a trap for his Lord,
GOD's neck broke as if chopped with a sword.
With heaven destroyed, the apocalypse came quick,
In the form of HIV, or a rash on the dick.
Soon all life was quiet and killed,
All thanks to JESUS and the splooge that he spilled.
THE END LOLOLOL im soo bored 
Comments
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
what are we trying to accomplish with this?
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
he didn't plea. He asked the father to forgive the Jews.
He doesn't want to show off for the enemie's sake.
and I feel like a hypocrite writing this on a sunday while I'm durnk..
its ok murt i spentlast night in the mountains avoiding cops because we tipped over 12 porta potties and dragged on up and down a street......
narrowly avoided getting caught.....
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
What badasses.
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
You are pathetic. Drunk in the morning? You have issues. Go to a clinic.
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
Actually, the fact [yes it is a fact] that I am happier than you at the moment makes me feel pretty good about myself.
The more you drink, the bigger my smile gets!
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
More more! Drink more! Please!
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
Girls really love it when you call them drunk in the middle of the day. Go ahead! You know you love her!
And drink more!
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
http://www.facebook.com/murtb
Somebodies an attention whore. Whenever I drink one too many I always love to sit down and post on the forums, that's why I get drunk!
Yeah I've typed drunk and my typing isn't even that bad...
I think it's a little bit fabricated......
As hartam said... attentionwhore... gosh!
I'm not sure. He's pretty damn good at pretending to be drunk. but yes, overdoing it abit.
Its always exciting seeing forum giants like Kiamde and Serien do battle (I don't call him murt since I don't think I've been here long enough to do that)
Though you can see Kiamde can easily resist drunken rant imitations, lets just hope it doesn't go too far, don't want a total war breaking out...Though i'd definitely love to see a moderator bringing down the flaming hammer O' Uber Ownage.
seriously guys, cut the dueling out, get back on topic.
And as for the OP, seek clinical help, your poem is giving people cancer.
I think it's the objective of your past self to make you cringe.
well if murt is one something besides alcholol then i could see his typing being that bad.
but otherwise hes being an attention whore something i havent seen him do in a while.
but anyway 3 and a half days and only 4 ciggarrettes. thats a victory
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
prepare to Burn in hell budy
Laugh of the death of the son of God , Who have sacrifice himself to save us!