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Gundamit
Member Posts: 268
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
12:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY
FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. Pricks.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining
the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around
their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded;
must try this at the top of the stairs next time.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
bastards, I again induced myself to vomit on their
favorite chair.
Note-to-self: I think I'll try crapping under their
bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and
to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only
cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I
was. Damn! Not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "ellergeez. "Must learn what the
Hell this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He must obviously be
a bloody half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every move.
Due to his current placement in the metal room, his
safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a
matter of time. . . the sonuvabitch
Comments
ahahaha. thats so funny. i love cats more though
"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good."
- Unknown Author
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http://www.facebook.com/murtb
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Oh my god... dont ask where i found it
A: 73% S: 66% K: 33% E: 26%
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98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 98% who has, copy & paste this in your signature.
A: 73% S: 66% K: 33% E: 26%
ive grown up with at least 5 dogs in the house my whole life... you learn to hate them. i have 1 cat, but its a stray so only outside. sigh, shes been comin to our house for 6 years now though. tough kitty
i have 1...2...3...4...5...no wait...4 chihuahuas! lol, 3 other dogs at the moment as well. sigh.
"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good."
- Unknown Author
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cats are awesome, nothing against dogs or anything...... but dogs are stupid.
ALL HAIL THE KITTEN KING!!! +|-|3 1337 |<!+73|| 0v/||5 joo!!!!!
wat iz segniture? me no spek englis
i hate cats especially cats that have been nuetured and declawed. <--- its more like a pillow that eats
'Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot.'-sayings of the wise
6{*
Lovely story. Please go on... I want to hear more.
ps. This really brightened up my day. Thanks...
***It was decided early on that Matrix Online would not contain any soup due to lack of spoons.***
***It was decided early on that Matrix Online would not contain any soup due to lack of spoons.***
its more like a pillow that eats
in my cat's case - a rather large, soft, furry pillow. *rolls cat to food dish* really though...when I first got my cat I used to play rough with it and would come away with bloody scratches all over my hands.. but it was awesome..
would grab the cat by the face and then he'd shake loose and start biting and clawing at my hand... i soon learned to wear a glove.
p.s. also, my cat's afraid of plastic bags because it's been "bagged" before. if you shake a plastic bag it would get all big eyed and stuff.
"Put your foot where your mouth is." - Wisdom from my grandfather
"Paper or plastic? ... because I'm afraid I'll have to suffocate you unless you put this bag on your head..." - Ethnitrek
AC1: Wierding from Harvestgain
http://www.facebook.com/murtb