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Thank You Big Corporations!

outfctrloutfctrl Member UncommonPosts: 3,619
Too often today, we hear people beating up big corporations. Liberals attack them, movies vilify them, politicians try to score cheap points with the public at their expense. But few people ever talk about everything that big corporations provide for America. They sell us quality goods and services, contribute vast sums to charity, and most importantly, help to provide jobs for Americans & boost the economy. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that you can't be "anti-big corporation" and still credibly claim to want the US to have a strong economy.



So, since few other people seem willing to say it, I will....



Thank you Wal-Mart! Your low prices & large selection of products have made life much more convenient. Instead of making multiple trips to small stores all around town, I can now just make one trip to Wal-Mart and save money to boot. Wal-Mart, what a fantastic store!



Thank you Shell! Because you've helped to bring precious oil into our country, we Americans have the freedom to drive wherever we wish across this great land! Your oil powers everything from ambulances that take us to the hospital to planes which fly us cross country so we can introduce our grandparents to their brand new grandson. Thank you Shell, for all you do for us!



Thank you Halliburton. While liberals stateside have carped and complained about your company, the employees of Halliburton have made a huge positive impact in Iraq. More than a few Halliburton employees have actually lost their lives providing services for the Iraqi people and US soldiers under the most difficult and demanding of circumstances. A lot of people talk about the war on terror, but Halliburton employees in Iraq have actually helped fight it just by doing their jobs and that's certainly appreciated.



Thank you Clear Channel Communications! Because of your tireless work, millions of Americans get to listen to their favorite radio hosts each day. Furthermore, because of companies like Clear Channel and talented hosts who work with them like Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, & Dr. Laura Schlessinger, AM radio has been revitalized, creating lots of jobs for Americans all across the country.



Thank you McDonalds! Your delicious food, which is served up in a timely manner all across the globe, helps hungry people all across the globe get a quick meal when they're in hurry.



Thank you Nike! Your fashionable, high quality sneakers have served me well many times in the past. Moreover, your overseas plants in places like Indonesia, Zimbabwe, & South Africa provide much needed jobs to people in those areas, prove the value of free trade, and help create marketing and management jobs back here in the good old U.S. Of A!



Thank you Microsoft! Your convenient and easy to use products like Internet Explorer, Windows XP, and Outlook Express have helped to popularize the internet. The simplicity and ease of use of Microsoft's great products are why they've been able to dominate the market and help hundreds of millions of people across the globe enjoy and learn from the internet.



Capitalism rules, socialism drools -- huzzah for big business =D

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Comments

  • shamallshamall Member CommonPosts: 516
    The only company I have a problem with out of the ones you listed is Halliburton. Something to do with that whole beware the military- industrial complex thing. They are making big $$ off of the war in Iraq.



    Not to mention certain ties that some high level government officials have with them.

    The Brave Do Not Fear The Grave

  • DekronDekron Member UncommonPosts: 7,359
    My major complaint is Wal-Mart.  Why?  Look at our trade deficit with China, then look at a good 60% of where Wal-Mart's stock comes from (not including super Wal-Mart's with the groceries and all.
  • tetsultetsul Member Posts: 1,020

    Thank you Wal-Mart. By attracting all the dirty welfare mothers and their screaming brats into one location I can avoid them all by going somewhere else.

    Thank you everyone else but Shell. Really, why would I thank the crappiest gas maker?

    Thank you Halliburton for proving my belief that if you grease enough government palms you can get away with anything.

    Thank you Clear Channel. By making it nearly impossible to be played locally, you keep lesser known bands from becoming popular like in the 50's. That saves our attention for another generic, synthesised, no-talent pop bimbo who can barely lip sync properly.

  • SnaKeySnaKey Member Posts: 3,386


    Originally posted by outfctrl
    Thank you Nike! Your fashionable, high quality sneakers have served me well many times in the past. Moreover, your overseas plants in places like Indonesia, Zimbabwe, & South Africa provide much needed jobs to people in those areas, prove the value of free trade, and help create marketing and management jobs back here in the good old U.S. Of A!

    Ummmm... When's the last time you owned a pair of Nikes? Seriously. They have to be the most overpiced, low quality thing I've ever seen. They are VERY VERY low quality.

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  • LilithIshtarLilithIshtar Member Posts: 667
    Thank you Wal-Mart for putting smaller shops/stoes out of buisness, especially the ones who's very lives revolved around their shops and lost their jobs due too you.



    Thank you Wal-Mart for treating your employee's like shit, and paying the woman less than man.



    I have no issues about the others. The only other one I've even heard about is Shell. Oo

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  • SnaKeySnaKey Member Posts: 3,386


    Originally posted by LilithIshtar
    Thank you Wal-Mart for treating your employee's like shit, and paying the woman less than man.

    I worked there for a year. Did you know they actually give classes to managers on how to treat employees like shit while making the employee think other wise?

    I'm not joking. I forget the official name, but it basically is "Treat Employees like Ass and Make them Think You're Awesome!"

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  • GameloadingGameloading Member UncommonPosts: 14,182
    Originally posted by SnaKey


     

    Originally posted by outfctrl

    Thank you Nike! Your fashionable, high quality sneakers have served me well many times in the past. Moreover, your overseas plants in places like Indonesia, Zimbabwe, & South Africa provide much needed jobs to people in those areas, prove the value of free trade, and help create marketing and management jobs back here in the good old U.S. Of A!

    Ummmm... When's the last time you owned a pair of Nikes? Seriously. They have to be the most overpiced, low quality thing I've ever seen. They are VERY VERY low quality.

    I still wear the nike shoes I bought 2 years ago daily, and they are still like new (although a bit dirty ofcourse).
  • SnaKeySnaKey Member Posts: 3,386


    Originally posted by Gameloading
    Originally posted by SnaKey

    Originally posted by outfctrl
    Thank you Nike! Your fashionable, high quality sneakers have served me well many times in the past. Moreover, your overseas plants in places like Indonesia, Zimbabwe, & South Africa provide much needed jobs to people in those areas, prove the value of free trade, and help create marketing and management jobs back here in the good old U.S. Of A!
    Ummmm... When's the last time you owned a pair of Nikes? Seriously. They have to be the most overpiced, low quality thing I've ever seen. They are VERY VERY low quality.

    I still wear the nike shoes I bought 2 years ago daily, and they are still like new (although a bit dirty ofcourse).


    I got a pair of Timberland Boots (I like boots!) from almost 3yrs ago that are in pretty much perfect condition.

    Well, besides wear and tear. Unlike Nike's that old, the soles are still on them and the stiching isn't coming out. Really the only thing wrong with them is poor quality laces and they are scuffed up a bit. But new laces and some no-shine shoe polish makes them look brand new.

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  • olddaddyolddaddy Member Posts: 3,356

    Originally posted by outfctrl

    This is a joke, right....



    Thank you Wal-Mart! For abandoning your "made in the USA" slogan in the chase for higher profits. Rather than employ American manufacturers, creating American manufacturing jobs that the Republicans are so fond of taking credit for, you have moved your supplier base offshore. Now, that garmet can be made in Vietnam for $2, plus another $1 for transport, and sold for $10, yieslding a $7 profit, rather than the $5 profit a US manufactured garmet would yield. In addition, you have rolled back time in creating working conditions in which employees work over their shift for no compensation, with poor health and retirement benfits. Not counting the jobs you have created by subcontracting out certain operations, such as store maintenance, to "preferred" suppliers that utilize illegal immigrant labor.

     Thank you Shell! You are also known as Dutch Royal Shell, a non US company. Of course, that really doesn't matter, because you pay the same amount in taxes to the US as Exxon Mobil, a US company. You see, all the drilling and devlopement operations are domestic, but the actual distribution operations are all incorporated in an offshore tax haven country so that the US operations can purchase the oil from the tax haven entity at $60 per barrel, when it still only costs $20 per barrel to bring it out of the ground. The resulting $40 profit is all taxed in Bermuda, or the Cayman Islands, which have a corporate tax rate of...zero. Of course, the drilling and developement subsidiaries incorporated here in the US generate tax losses. Then the US Congress passes a special profits repatriation act that lets you bring these profits back into the country at a 10% tax rate, rather than the 30% corporate rate. It's a hell of a great country when you have a friend in Washington.

    Thank you Halliburton. You have been paid boatloads of money in a non-bid contract to provide services to US troops in Iraq. We really don't know how much that is, because Wolfowicz just threw around bundles of $100 bill like footballs, with no accountability. To top that off, early in the contract you fell flat on your face and failed to feed the troops stationed in Iraq as required under the contract. Any other defence contractor would have had the contract yanked in a heartbeat, and been subject to audit by the Defense Contract Audit Agency. It's a hell of a great country when you have a friend in Washington.

    Thank you Clear Channel Communications! For providing Outfctrl access to mindless television programming so that he can pursue his right to be an attention whore on our forums. Though, obviously, there is some sort of a dead zone in your programming, as he feels the need not to view 24/7 and visit our forums. Please improve your programming so we do not have to suffer two to three of his po;itical OPs per day. Either that, or get him a woman.

    Thank you McDonalds! Without you, we would never had developed the heart/blood pressure medicine America now needs. The airlines wouldn't be in near as bad financial difficulty with the added fuel cost associated with carting all those obese asses across the country. Americans would actually have to take time out from stuffing their faces with Big Macs and supersized fries and cook. Maybe we would even have nutrition classes again in high schools. Of course, McDonalds, you alone are not to blame, you're just part of the problem. But in America we don't assign responsibility to any one person or group, we just say it's societies fault. So continue on your merry way, McDonalds, the neocons will heap you with praise and defend your industry with lame excuses about it not being your fault. 

    Thank you Nike! Yes, thank you for selling a god damn tennis shoe under a variety of different catchy names for walking, jogging, playing basketball, and sleeping in, at a price that would feed a Honduran for at least a  year. Of course it doesn't cost near that much to manufacture overseas, but then you have to pay athletic stars a boatload of cash to push your product on Clear Channel Communications cause they would starve on their sports contracts. Its nice to see that America pays that guy who can dunk a basketball more than a nuclear physicist, no wonder all our doctors and engineers are foreign, why study hard in college when you can shoot hoops?

    Thank you Microsoft! Your control over the software on our computers, at the expense of the competition, is what free market capitalism is all about. It really is a shame that the US justice department had to step in and stop your monopolistic, predatory practices, as you are what neo conservatives strive to turn our economy into. Yes, capitalism in the computer industry, Bill Gates stealing the idea of the mouse from Steve Jobs, who in turn had stolen it from Xerox, then marrying it to the MS DOS software bought for a song off a developer in Seattle. American capitalism at it's finest, if you're not bright enough to develope a product, steal it. Then lobby Congress for a smaller, less intrusive government.  

     Contrary to neo conservative teachings, there are only 3 ways to make money in America, inherit it, steal it, or exploit someone else's labor. Right now we are really big on exploiting labor in under deveoped countries, far away from unions, health plans, pension plans, environmental, health, and safety constraints. And we argue that we are doing them a favor by crapping on them.....



  • MW2KMW2K Member UncommonPosts: 1,036

    Thank you Shell for being an Anglo-Dutch company. Booyah!

  • dsorrentdsorrent Member CommonPosts: 1,627
    Originally posted by SnaKey


     

    Originally posted by Gameloading


    Originally posted by SnaKey






    Originally posted by outfctrl

    Thank you Nike! Your fashionable, high quality sneakers have served me well many times in the past. Moreover, your overseas plants in places like Indonesia, Zimbabwe, & South Africa provide much needed jobs to people in those areas, prove the value of free trade, and help create marketing and management jobs back here in the good old U.S. Of A!




    Ummmm... When's the last time you owned a pair of Nikes? Seriously. They have to be the most overpiced, low quality thing I've ever seen. They are VERY VERY low quality.



    I still wear the nike shoes I bought 2 years ago daily, and they are still like new (although a bit dirty ofcourse).



    I got a pair of Timberland Boots (I like boots!) from almost 3yrs ago that are in pretty much perfect condition.

    Well, besides wear and tear. Unlike Nike's that old, the soles are still on them and the stiching isn't coming out. Really the only thing wrong with them is poor quality laces and they are scuffed up a bit. But new laces and some no-shine shoe polish makes them look brand new.



    I used to buy Nike's but they never lasted more than a year for me.  Now, keep in mind, the sneaker is my shoe of choice for pretty much anything.  I've had the same pair of New Balance for about 2 years now.  While they do look a bit run down, they are still in one piece which I'm really surprised by.   It's funny how when you're used to crap for so long, you accept that as the baseline of everything else you compare it to.  Instead of being surprised by the longevity of the New Balance, I should really be surprised by the short life span of the Nike.
  • DraenorDraenor Member UncommonPosts: 7,918
    Originally posted by LilithIshtar

    Thank you Wal-Mart for putting smaller shops/stoes out of buisness, especially the ones who's very lives revolved around their shops and lost their jobs due too you.



    Thank you Wal-Mart for treating your employee's like shit, and paying the woman less than man.



    I have no issues about the others. The only other one I've even heard about is Shell. Oo

     

    Thank you capitolism for allowing companies like Wall-Mart to put smaller stores out of business, this keeps prices low and competition high, which is good for the consumer.  Thank you Lilith for claiming that Wall-Mart treats their employees like shit, people who talk about things that they don't really know about make me laugh, so thanks for the laugh.  Ever worked at Wall-Mart Lilith?  Didn't think so.  Perhaps the women get paid less than the men because the women at Wall-Mart are mostly greeters and cashiers, and it takes more knowledge and skill to be a manager or work in a specific department such as electronics?  But that would make way too much sense right?

    I'm so sick of hearing this shit about men being paid 25c more on the dollar than women.  That doesn't take anything into account except for the hard numbers, how about the qualifications of the employed?  How about the length of time that the men have been working the job as opposed to the women?  Stop using that bullshit figure to make claim to sexism, without taking any other factor into account.  A lot of factors go into how much someone gets paid, nobody looks at a woman and goes "you know what, I'm going to pay her 25c less than Bob over there because she has a vagina"

    Your argument is like a two legged dog with an eating disorder...weak and unbalanced.

  • baffbaff Member Posts: 9,457

    Thanks to big business for paying back the money I leant you on time everytime and with intrest.

    Thanks for allowing me to buy your stock.

    Thanks for my retirement.

     

    P.S. I also really love the way you sell me cheap goods that I want at a price I can afford so that my standard of living has become something I could never have dreamed about 20 years ago.  

  • BrianshoBriansho Member UncommonPosts: 3,586
    Thanks McDonalds for keeping hospital and doctors in business and making obesity very popular here in the states.



    Thanks Walmart for enabling me to do my ghetto grocery shopping at 2am with all the other freaks that go there that late.



    Thanks Clear Channel for letting Opie and Anthony back on Free FM after being banned for a few years.



    Thanks Microsoft for the upcoming release of Vista, maybe I will upgrade to it in 2009.

    Don't be terrorized! You're more likely to die of a car accident, drowning, fire, or murder! More people die every year from prescription drugs than terrorism LOL!

  • End_of_a_eraEnd_of_a_era Member Posts: 527

    mc donalds?

     

    If you have no taste buds

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  • tetsultetsul Member Posts: 1,020
    Originally posted by Draenor 


    Thank you Lilith for claiming that Wall-Mart treats their employees like shit, people who talk about things that they don't really know about make me laugh, so thanks for the laugh.  Ever worked at Wall-Mart Lilith?
    I heard that they have a daily group cheer to get excited about working at Walmart. To me it would be more merciful to flog me every morning before work then have to go through that production, with or without the rest of the job.
  • HerodesHerodes Member UncommonPosts: 1,494

    OP = sarcasm

    If it was said above, i didn´t read, sorry.
    But funny it is :)

  • LilithIshtarLilithIshtar Member Posts: 667
    Originally posted by Draenor

    Originally posted by LilithIshtar

    Thank you Wal-Mart for putting smaller shops/stoes out of buisness, especially the ones who's very lives revolved around their shops and lost their jobs due too you.



    Thank you Wal-Mart for treating your employee's like shit, and paying the woman less than man.



    I have no issues about the others. The only other one I've even heard about is Shell. Oo

     

    Thank you capitolism for allowing companies like Wall-Mart to put smaller stores out of business, this keeps prices low and competition high, which is good for the consumer.  Thank you Lilith for claiming that Wall-Mart treats their employees like shit, people who talk about things that they don't really know about make me laugh, so thanks for the laugh.  Ever worked at Wall-Mart Lilith?  Didn't think so.  Perhaps the women get paid less than the men because the women at Wall-Mart are mostly greeters and cashiers, and it takes more knowledge and skill to be a manager or work in a specific department such as electronics?  But that would make way too much sense right?

    I'm so sick of hearing this shit about men being paid 25c more on the dollar than women.  That doesn't take anything into account except for the hard numbers, how about the qualifications of the employed?  How about the length of time that the men have been working the job as opposed to the women?  Stop using that bullshit figure to make claim to sexism, without taking any other factor into account.  A lot of factors go into how much someone gets paid, nobody looks at a woman and goes "you know what, I'm going to pay her 25c less than Bob over there because she has a vagina"



    Dude, I worked at Wal-Mart for a year. I know exactly what I'm talking about. I was working cashier, and all the guys that did the same job as me, got paid $3 more than me. Inlcuding the new ones. How do I know this? I asked them. The manager was an asshole along with everyone else that was "higher ranked" than myself or my friends who also worked there. I quit after the year, as I got sick of being treated like trash.



    But that was a nice try.



    "A lot of factors go into how much someone gets paid, nobody looks at a woman and goes "you know what, I'm going to pay her 25c less than Bob over there because she has a vagina"



    You'd be surprised at how many men think that way.

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  • LilithIshtarLilithIshtar Member Posts: 667
    Originally posted by tetsul

    Originally posted by Draenor 


    Thank you Lilith for claiming that Wall-Mart treats their employees like shit, people who talk about things that they don't really know about make me laugh, so thanks for the laugh.  Ever worked at Wall-Mart Lilith?
    I heard that they have a daily group cheer to get excited about working at Walmart. To me it would be more merciful to flog me every morning before work then have to go through that production, with or without the rest of the job.

    The Wall-Mart that I worked at never had any daily group cheer. It would of been nice though.

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  • PunkMonkPunkMonk Member Posts: 483
    Olddaddy, I like you. Coolest person I've met on this forum.

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  • cornoffcobcornoffcob Member Posts: 860
    Originally posted by Herodes


    OP = sarcasm
    If it was said above, i didn´t read, sorry.

    But funny it is :)


    you haven't read outfctrls posts before have you?



    edited...

    I hope some day we can all put aside our racisms and prejudices and just laugh at people


    image

  • EllChanEllChan Member Posts: 24

     

    Originally posted by Draenor 


    A lot of factors go into how much someone gets paid, nobody looks at a woman and goes "you know what, I'm going to pay her 25c less than Bob over there because she has a vagina"



    Wow do you really believe that? I'll tell you a story then..
    Once upon a time I applied to a well-paying office job with a VERY corporate by-the-books company. I applied through all of the proper channels, as instructed. I had a glowing recommendation from a male department manager who had seen my design skills and knew I was horribly overqualified for the position to which I was applying. I went to the interview and was told that I left a fantastic impression and was a perfect candidate. The business began making arrangements with me for my pay and briefed me on my assignments.
    ..But I never got a call back. When I phoned in to see what the problem was, the person I spoke to said the official response was that they simply did not need my services, but the truth was that the manager in charge of the department I had applied to told everyone I was an attractive female and therefore "had obviously slept with" the man who gave me the glowing recommendation.
    I will admit, I have lived a very protected privileged life. I am certain women who are attempting to work blue collar and retail jobs have a harder time than I. Sexism is very very real and big business is not innocent by any means, no matter how many company policies they have.
  • NihilanthNihilanth Member Posts: 1,357
    outfctrl, there is no way you can actually be a real person.  You must be some sort of Reublo-bot or something, because there's no way in hell a person can be that crazy/blindly conservative... It just doesn't make any sense...

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  • KhuzarrzKhuzarrz Member Posts: 578

     

    Originally posted by outfctrl



    Thank you McDonalds! Your delicious food, which is served up in a timely manner all across the globe, helps hungry people all across the globe get a quick meal when they're in hurry.





    Thank you Microsoft! Your convenient and easy to use products like Internet Explorer, Windows XP, and Outlook Express have helped to popularize the internet. The simplicity and ease of use of Microsoft's great products are why they've been able to dominate the market and help hundreds of millions of people across the globe enjoy and learn from the internet.





    No.

    The rest I can agree to disagree on... But McDonalds food is not delicious, it's grotesque, and I've never seen it 'help' ANYONE. McDonalds now has a chain on the back of St. Marks Square in Venice. It's one of the most beautiful streets in the whole city, until you see those fecking 'golden arches.' McDonalds should die, end of.

    And Microsoft... Convenient?! Are you smoking some? MS-DOS command prompt is more convenient and easy to use than Windows XP and Outlook Express, and Firefox is about 300 times more efficient in EVERY way than IE. If I could have all the hours of my life I've spent fixing errors in my system because of Microsoft f*ck-ups I'd still be 14. And I've only been using computers for 9 years.

  • freethinkerfreethinker Member UncommonPosts: 775
    Thank you Wal-Mart! ShopWorth!

    You took up the challenge to compete with Wal-Mart and provide reasonably (if not competitive) prices to Wal-Mart.

    Thank you ShopWorth you are closer to my home, therefore i don't have to drive halfway across town for my groceries.

    Thank you ShopWorth for keeping your store soooo much cleaner than my local Walmart

    Thank you ShopWorth for opening ALL your registers so I don't have to wait 45mins in line to check out my groceries.



    Thank you Shell! Casey's

    For being close to my home, so I don't have to drive to the Shell and spend an extra penny for the same shit that's so heavly regulated by our federal government.

    For getting involved with local charities that give back to our community.

    For still having that "full service"  isle that my grandmother so-greatly depends on.

    For offering my Kodiak 10cents cheaper than that big hog Shell.



    Thank you Halliburton .
    For making me realize how deep corporate corruption can go.  Hope you made enough money in your president's war. (i'll take this opportunity to give a "shout out" to Enron as well)





    Thank you Clear Channel Communications! XM Radio

    for picking up Howard Stern when Clear Channel didn't have the cajones to keep him.  Now I can listen to you, unedited on my XM Radio, crystal clear, instead of having to listen to right-wing blowhards like "Dr." Laura, Limbaugh and Glen Beck on poor quality AM.





    Thank you McDonalds! Backyard Burgers. 

    Your hamburgers are delicious! plus you offer WiFi connection in your restaurant so I can check my email while enjoying your food.





    Thank you Microsoft! for Windows XP.  I'm glad you finally produced a somewhat secure OS.  But also, thank you to the Linux community...your OS is much more complicated and taught me more about how a computer/network operates as I was going through college.

    Mac? No thank you, go away.





    Capitalism rules, <leaves out the idiotic cheerleader chant> -- huzzah for the small business's who take up the challenge and offer us QUALITY and CONVENIENCE rather than just cheap prices.  Hooray for the big guys too...sometimes, it doesn't really matter what brand of paper towels you buy.

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