›

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register

Quick Links

I LOVE THIS COUNTRY, BUT...

ZorvanZorvan Member CommonPosts: 8,912
in Off-Topic Discussion

crocjokes.com/dirtyjokes.php

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an

ambulance.



2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of

a skating rink.



3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way

to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy

people can buy cigarettes at the front.



4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large

fries, and a diet coke.



5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain

the pens to the counters.



6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars

in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls

and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we

didn't want to talk to in the first place.



8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and

buns in packages of eight.



9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the

process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning

'bloodsucking creatures'.



10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with

Braille.

Comments

  • EnigmaEnigma Member UncommonPosts: 11,384

    lol nice ones!

    People who have to create conspiracy and hate threads to further a cause lacks in intellectual comprehension of diversity.

  • saniceksanicek Member UncommonPosts: 368

    Whats with the sudden influx of 10 point lists?

    Not that I am not amused ( I can be, you on the other hand are screwed, you live there ).

    Subscribtions: EVE, SWTOR WOW, WAR, DDO, VG, AOC, COV, FFXI, GW, RFO, Aion
    +plenty of F2P, betas, trials

    Female Dwarf player: WOW, VG, WAR, DDO
    .
    Due to the recent economic crisis and spending cuts the light at the end of the tunnel was turned off. Sincerely, God.

  • xpowderxxpowderx Member UncommonPosts: 2,078
    Originally posted by Zorvan


    1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an

    ambulance.



    2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of

    a skating rink.



    3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way

    to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy

    people can buy cigarettes at the front.



    4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large

    fries, and a diet coke.



    5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain

    the pens to the counters.



    6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars

    in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



    7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls

    and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we

    didn't want to talk to in the first place.



    8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and

    buns in packages of eight.



    9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the

    process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning

    'bloodsucking creatures'.



    10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with

    Braille.

    I got busted for this Zorvan. For not linking your source. As such and before you get other people thinking its your work. Enjoy!www.waynesthisandthat.com/america.htm

  • TheGreyManTheGreyMan Member Posts: 325

    same as the UK

    image

  • ZorvanZorvan Member CommonPosts: 8,912
    Originally posted by xpowderx

    Originally posted by Zorvan


    1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an

    ambulance.



    2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of

    a skating rink.



    3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way

    to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy

    people can buy cigarettes at the front.



    4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large

    fries, and a diet coke.



    5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain

    the pens to the counters.



    6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars

    in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



    7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls

    and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we

    didn't want to talk to in the first place.



    8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and

    buns in packages of eight.



    9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the

    process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning

    'bloodsucking creatures'.



    10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with

    Braille.

    I got busted for this Zorvan. For not linking your source. As such and before you get other people thinking its your work. Enjoy!www.waynesthisandthat.com/america.htm

    Actually, I got it here: crocjokes.com/dirtyjokes.php

  • DeaconXDeaconX Member UncommonPosts: 3,062

    #4 is the best to me... because you see it quite often and it boggles the mind every time...

    image

    Why do I write, create, fantasize, dream and daydream about other worlds? Because I hate what humanity does with this one.

    BOYCOTTING EA / ORIGIN going forward.

  • Man1acMan1ac Member Posts: 1,428
    Originally posted by TheGreyMan


    same as the UK

    huh? lol The NHS is actually quite decent haven't you seen Sicko. The UK has other problems such as the fact it's bloody small which is going to rise almost all taxes lol and passing a driving test'll become harder than passing a becoming a pilot for the RAF. But can someone please enlighten me why the government isn't doing f*ck all with this weight crisis? Well I suppose they'd fail miserably just like the war in Iraq. 

    We're all Geniuses. Most of us just don't know it.

  • paulscottpaulscott Member Posts: 5,613
    Originally posted by Man1ac

    Originally posted by TheGreyMan


    same as the UK

    huh? lol The NHS is actually quite decent haven't you seen Sicko. The UK has other problems such as the fact it's bloody small which is going to rise almost all taxes lol and passing a driving test'll become harder than passing a becoming a pilot for the RAF. But can someone please enlighten me why the government isn't doing f*ck all with this weight crisis? Well I suppose they'd fail miserably just like the war in Iraq. 

    weight crisis?  nanny state is bad m'kay.  The only thing they should possibly do is encourage(NOT mandate) schools to have a bit more gym time.

    I find it amazing that by 2020 first world countries will be competing to get immigrants.

  • Man1acMan1ac Member Posts: 1,428
    United States

    The prevalence of overweight and obesity in the United States makes obesity a leading public health problem. The United States has the highest rates of obesity in the developed world. From 1980 to 2002, obesity has doubled in adults and overweight prevalence has tripled in children and adolescents. From 2003-2004, "children and adolescents aged 2 to 19 years, 17.1% were overweight...and 32.2% of adults aged 20 years or older were obese." Currently, about 119 million, or 64.5%, of US adults are either overweight or obese. The prevalence in the United States continues to rise.

    Taken from wiki.

    64.5% of the residents of America >normal on the BMI sounds fine and dandy. Maybe even encouraging a bit of extra gym classes isn't necessary...

    We're all Geniuses. Most of us just don't know it.

  • TheGreyManTheGreyMan Member Posts: 325
    Originally posted by Man1ac

    Originally posted by TheGreyMan


    same as the UK

    huh? lol The NHS is actually quite decent haven't you seen Sicko. The UK has other problems such as the fact it's bloody small which is going to rise almost all taxes lol and passing a driving test'll become harder than passing a becoming a pilot for the RAF. But can someone please enlighten me why the government isn't doing f*ck all with this weight crisis? Well I suppose they'd fail miserably just like the war in Iraq. 

    i left the NHS a long time ago :) i dont trust them...private all the way :0

    image

  • Rikimaru_XRikimaru_X Member UncommonPosts: 11,718

    I liked #4 too. I guess the coke balances everything out....well not really.

    -In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
    |
    RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos

  • BrianshoBriansho Member UncommonPosts: 3,586

    #4 reminds me of our passion for high fructose corn syrup.

    Don't be terrorized! You're more likely to die of a car accident, drowning, fire, or murder! More people die every year from prescription drugs than terrorism LOL!

  • abbabaabbaba Member Posts: 1,143
    Originally posted by Zorvan


    crocjokes.com/dirtyjokes.php
    1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an

    ambulance.
    I wonder where this neighborhood is...average pizza delivery time is 30-45 minutes, ambulance is less than 10 min


    2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of

    a skating rink.
    Yeah, god forbid a handicapped parent take their child to a skating rink



    3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way

    to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy

    people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    I guess the US has a standard layout for pharmacies now?



    4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large

    fries, and a diet coke.
    yeah some people do do that lol


    5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain

    the pens to the counters.
    This is done so people don't absent mindedly pocket them


    6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars

    in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
    Or we could store stuff in the driveway .yeah, that makes a lot of sense.



    7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls

    and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we

    didn't want to talk to in the first place.



    8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and

    buns in packages of eight.



    9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the

    process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning

    'bloodsucking creatures'.



    10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with

    Braille.

     

  • GruntyGrunty Member EpicPosts: 8,657

    4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large

    fries, and a diet coke.

    It's called Diabetes.

    "I used to think the worst thing in life was to be all alone.  It's not.  The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."  Robin Williams
  • FinweFinwe Member CommonPosts: 3,106

    Originally posted by grunty


    4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large

    fries, and a diet coke.
    It's called Diabetes.
    As a diabetic I can attest to that.

    Having a normal meal and a large regular coke will about double my need for insulin. I try to avoid soft drinks altogether, but when I choose them, diets the way.

    "The greatest trick the devil played on humanity in the 20th century was convincing them that he didn't exist." (Paraphrasing) C.S. Lewis

    "If a mother can kill her own child, what is left before I kill you and you kill me?" -Mother Teresa when talking about abortion after accepting the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979

  • bamboob3bamboob3 Member Posts: 33

    lol

Sign In or Register to comment.