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dating advice
Thrakk
Member Posts: 1,226
I think I'm too picky. For instance, I've gone on okcupid and looked at all the girls that live near me. And I've only found 3 girls that interested me in the past 5 months or so. (unfortunately they didnt return my e-mail)
The last time there was an online dating thread on mmorpg.com, somebody admitted to hooking up with tons of girls on myspace. The girls on myspace are usually emo or ghetto.... I just don't think I could find anyone that interests me if I searched through 20 pages of local girls.
How do you all do it? How do you find girls that arent emo, ghetto, fattys, annoying,....
or do you just say "I don't care" if she listens to terrible music and has stupid interests, she's good enough looking and seems nice?
and to the guy who admitted getting laid by tons of chicks on myspace: did they share any interests with you?
maybe I'm just unique in that I dont like emo, ghetto, pitchfork, country, hardcore types of music and I feel weird ever trying to date/lay a chick that has interests that disgust me. I dunno, maybe Im too picky.
Comments
That was probably me about the MySpace thing.
That's back when everyone was using MySpace, around 2006ish era when MySpace was the most visited site on the internet beating out even Google.
Good thing is, Facebook is bigger than MySpace now. It may not be the most visited site on the internet, but there sure are a hell of alot more normal people there than there ever was on MySpace. I've been using Facebook alot recently and it's the same animal. I am married now, so I'm not looking for anything, but it's the same thing as MySpace was as far as social networking goes.
Just don't be pushy, don't be weird or creepy, just be a guy hanging out on Facebook.
And no, alot of them didn't share much with me or if they did... I didn't care and don't even remember. I was just looking for one thing. I found 2 girls I dated and a couple 'friends' that I kept for awhile. But, nothing really serious or anything I really cared about. A whole bunch of one night stands basically....... but that's was just me when I was single anyway MySpace or not. lol Basically, just look for friends on Facebook and what develops from it, develops from it. Let things flow. But remember one thing, in real life the friend zone is bad. On the internet, with NORMAL girls, the friend zone is where you want to be first. IRL, they already know you, they already see you, they have already touched you a couple times at least... it's much easier for females to get comfortable with you IRL and that's where the fail is. The Friend Zone online is how they get comfortable with you and things can develop from it.
I just have a question though:
Are you a musician or something where music is the most important thing in your life above all else? If not, what does it matter what music a girl listens to? Honestly? I hate my wife's music and she hates mine and neither of us care. We still love each other very much.
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I'm glad I was able to get your perspective.
I don't think there is any good dating apps on facebook... how do you meet people... through your friends?
Browsing. Looking at friend's profiles, browsing for girls in your area. If you like what you see, add them, see if you can spark up a conversation. If they don't reply right away, wait a few weeks before you send anything else. Not everyone uses the internet everyday (I know it's crazy and I don't see how that's possible).
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My question is what are you looking for? Are you looking to get laid or are you looking for a girlfriend? With what I highlighted in red it really makes me wonder. If it's the former, just find a girl that you find physically attracted to and have at it, if it's the latter then that's a whole other story.
But the bottom line is: What do you want to accomplish?
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
in general I'm interested in finding a girl for long-term
and I think that is why I'm so damn picky. I might be subconsciously asking myself "would I ever marry this girl?" whenever I look at any dating profile.
I e-mail only a very few select people. (and I should realize that most people don't e-mail back in the first place)
if only more people used free dating sites like okcupid and plentyoffish. I've already seen all the profiles for every girl within 25 miles of me.
maybe I should try searching Facebook by location... I've never tried that and don't know how well it will work.
IMO, you get what you pay for. okcupid is free. Myspace is free. Facebook is free.
The nicer girls are often at the bar where's there's a cover charge, not the one that has the cheapest beer prices. I'm just sayin.
Man I am just picky as you. But there is this girl who lives right next to me.. and she is just perfect for me from what I know. Of course I messed it up and then the dude above her just messed it up even worse. Bah. I am in the same situation as you. Wanting a long term girl. I am not like most guys, I am not in it for sex. I actually want to fall in love and take care of a girl. But it seems as if the nice ones are all taken or and girls just enjoy assholes.
A few girls at work said they just date their boyfriend because hes super good looking, they fight a lot and then she gets to have make up sex with them. That's the sole reason, they think nice guys are boring. Not True. I pretty much told them, "what the hell is wrong with you"? That way of thinking is absurd imo.
Anyways, I heard e-harmony is probably the best bet if you wanna do the online thing. I tried to do the online thing and people just lie all the time on the net. It's not worth it. I think the net is only okay if you actually knew that person in person before and had to use the net to communicate for a while.
I am one of those people that no matter my attitude no matter what I do, I believe I am destined to be alone. Just starting to realize that now. In this generation, nice guys seem not to even finish at all.
Man I am just picky as you. But there is this girl who lives right next to me.. and she is just perfect for me from what I know. Of course I messed it up and then the dude above her just messed it up even worse. Bah. I am in the same situation as you. Wanting a long term girl. I am not like most guys, I am not in it for sex. I actually want to fall in love and take care of a girl. But it seems as if the nice ones are all taken or and girls just enjoy assholes.
yeah I see nice interesting girls at bars with both types of guys. when the guy looks like a nice guy I figure he just happened to be lucky and be there when she was single (there never is any nice intersting girls that are not single).
A few girls at work said they just date their boyfriend because hes super good looking, they fight a lot and then she gets to have make up sex with them. That's the sole reason, they think nice guys are boring. Not True. I pretty much told them, "what the hell is wrong with you"? That way of thinking is absurd imo.
yeah, odds are that they never been with an interesting nice guy. just the preppy girly man or something
and assholes are always one step ahead of any nice guy when it comes to meeting chicks. they are the loud mouth, big, poignant mofos that are comfortable barging in and saying anything (as they don't have much intellect filtering their speech preventing them from being the big talker), and girls buy it.. mostly for the looks, self-confidence, and they are not boring in the sense that those dumbass guys are always saying anything and doing anything even if it is typical "good old boy" jerk-ass manouvers. smarter guys tend to hold their tongue a bit more... unfortunately, some of the smarter guys dont have much game because that is something you learn from hainging with the dumbasses who actually have superior street talking skillz
Anyways, I heard e-harmony is probably the best bet if you wanna do the online thing. I tried to do the online thing and people just lie all the time on the net. It's not worth it. I think the net is only okay if you actually knew that person in person before and had to use the net to communicate for a while.
yeah Im gonna gonna go to bars before I ever do e-harmony. I cant afford it anyways
I am one of those people that no matter my attitude no matter what I do, I believe I am destined to be alone. Just starting to realize that now. In this generation, nice guys seem not to even finish at all.
I think of it more as the cool girls are extremely hard to find or unavailable, rather than nice guys finish last
we can't let being nice stop us from having any game
and yes, I extremely believe that there are more really interesting nice-ish guys out there than interesting assholes or halfasses (whatever the alternative to nice-ish is). if girls cant find the cool nice guys than maybe these girls aren't that cool to begin with or maybe they have never had the opportunity to be with one because they have only had the misfortune of dating the assholes whom have the advantage of being first in line most of the time
So... you're 26 and looking for a girl. I'm guessing you're looking for one younger then you. That probably puts them in the range between 21-26 assuming you don't want to go older then yourself. Let me tell you from personal experience that I can't relate to the girls that are 21 or younger, especially not the ones that live around here. As I get closer tot he 26 mark that's where they start to actually have interests that I share. It's even better if they don't come from the immediate area that I live in. The ones not from around here just seem to be more personable, and not stuck up.
Here's my suggestion. Go and find a girl that's older then you, or for the sake of an experiment just to open your eyes go chat up a girl that's older then you. I think you'll be surprised at what you find. At least from my perspective a lot of them are easier to get along with, don't take things so seriously and know what they want. I'd say aim for 28 and see what happens. I know one that's 30 and she's great fun, way better then any of the 21 year old's I've come across.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
Here's a suggestion: Have you tried of speed dating? In speed dating there are a fair number of boys and girls in a room. Everyone is sitted and paired. Then the pair will talk to each other in a given time. When the time is finished, the boys will go to the next table and talk with the next girl. This will go on until everyone has talked to everyone. Then after the speed dating you will just wait for a call or mail or whatever from the one/s likes you.
I found it's better to start a conversation in a place like a mall or grocery store. Somewhere there is a lot of people around. Don't be afraid to talk to them, just strike up a conversation about what they might be looking at or something you notice about them.
Whatever you do don't use craiglist to search for chics. Either they are porn sites, foreign chics trying to come over, or BBW with the myspace angle photo of their face. Most of them are the BBW and they are lieing about their weight/size.
Don't be terrorized! You're more likely to die of a car accident, drowning, fire, or murder! More people die every year from prescription drugs than terrorism LOL!
Just don't forget to bring the rubber in-case something special happens.. and also don't give out your real address, name, number...
Remember that too much heat causes fire... Avoid extreme friction to prevent that....
Man, it almost seems as if a lot of you are trying too hard! Or maybe I'm lucky... Found the girl I loved over a conversation at Starbucks.
She has adapted to what I like and I've adapted to what she likes. She now plays World of Warcraft with me and doesn't have a problem. If you're looking for a girl with the exact same interests with you spot-on, it's usually a fantasy girl that does not exist. You have to be somewhat realistic. If you meet a girl and both of you are truly fond of eachother, then both sides of the relationship have to adapt and meet ends equally.
Protip: Go outside.
This is a sequence of characters intended to produce some profound mental effect, but it has failed.
Words of wisdom right here fellas'!
Try to ask some information about her family like asking about what's her mother's favorite ______.? * Always smile!
Doesn't work like that on the North American continent. If you walked up to a girl and struck up a conversation about her mother she'd think you're weird or crazy or both.
Just go outside and do the shit you like. I'm fairly certain there are women there. Talk to one of them and see where it goes, at least that way you'll know that you have the current activity in common... at the very least.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
Hang out with your friends and meet their friends. Spread out your network and get to know more people. That's the best way to find friends and lovers.
Dating Advise: Don't be a Jerk! Study the word "Chivalry"... Always wear your perfect smile combined with a nice sets of clothes...
Chivalry???? How pathetic!
Go and bring her to a concert or watch a movie!
Just dump the girl if she like you more than your ride.... ^^
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
Perhaps, but you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. Think on that one for a moment.