›

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register

Quick Links

10 THINGS ALL THE COOL DUDES ARE DOING INSTEAD OF BEING LAME AND QUEER AND HAVING CENSORED!

methane47methane47 Member UncommonPosts: 3,694
in Off-Topic Discussion

THE Brother Site to the one i just posted...
This stuff is retarded...!! lol
http://www.sexisforfags.com/no-sex.asp

1. STUDY FOR SCHOOL!
Hitting the old books is a great way to counteract the nasty hormones bubbling through your smelly parts. Because the last thing any cool boy wants to be is that dude who was so obsessed with scoring a "home run," that he grew up to become a PCP-snorting janitor who caught genital leprosy from a dead homeless woman. Wanna be President instead? Sure, you'll need a perfect 2.5 GPA, but who wouldn't rather bury his nose in a moldy encyclopedia instead of some thighs?

2. JOIN A BOY SCOUT TROOP!
As your awkward, gangly body begins to grow – your muscles blooming, your willowy EDITED [UNIT] thickening into a CENSORED, you need the guidance of a middle-aged man who likes to play dress-up and go camping in the woods with hordes of young boys. Then at night, when you're Indian Wrestling wearing the traditional bison hide thong and nothing else, you'll find your burning hunger for "squaw beaver" will flicker out like a citronella candle choked with dead skeeters!

3. PLAY FOOTBALL!
Nothing gets icky premarital sex off the brain better than an impromptu game of touch football with your Sex is for CENSORED brothers. Sinful thoughts dissipate like magic while you writhe under a pile of your buddies' taut high school bodies, bulging zippers grazing firm buttocks, touching, tackling, and wrestling. Then afterwards, you can all take a long, hot, group shower and talk about baseball!

4. GET A PIT BULL!
There is nothing more wholesome than a boy and his dog. And at night, when the sin fairies are tickling your shame buds, you can distract yourself by training your bitch to grow up and kill: shaving her, kicking her when she makes on the carpet, and punching her snout so hard she learns never to whine during the rad 7th Heaven reruns which reinforce your awesome "abstinence-only" lifestyle choice.

5. BULLY SOME SISSY!
You know that kid in school who dresses a little too well and has lots of platonic "girlfriends"? Yeah, the one who once wore green on Thursday and listens to Britney? Wait for him after school, and once he's walked out of Drama Club, crack him in the kidneys with a golf club. If no one's around, do it again. For good measure, sit on his face and tell him what a homo he is. Of course, you might feel a little worked up after this, so it's okay to take a ball peen hammer to your CENSORED for relief.

6. PLAY VIDEO GAMES!
Spending countless hours playing Halo 2, Doom 3 or Medal of Honor helps you focus on the important things in life, like computer-generated mass murder. It's a valuable skill set, especially for those looking to pursue a career in the military – a noble profession where one blissfully marinates with men in tight spaces for months on end. So the next time your man-pipes rumble, simply take your desires to touch, grope, and melt into another human being, and funnel them into a wholesome virtual homicidal bloodbath!

7. DESTROY STUFF!
Tapping in to the zen clarity of senseless destruction is a wonderful way to forget all about the lure of disgusting girls and their sissy privates. Yes, whether it's smashing windows in a vacationing neighbor's house, imploding the heads of Barbie dolls with the business end of an aluminum baseball bat, or setting a hotwired bulldozer loose in an unattended construction site, you and your Sex is for CENSORED pals will have a majorly cool time purging vile, pornographic fantasies from your testosterone-ravaged minds!

8. DRAG RACE!
Have you ever spent hours transfixed by logo-encrusted NASCAR rigs driving in circles, and wondered how come none of the drivers are chicks? Simple, because driving is a man's job. So what better way to forget all about fruity girls than by doing the stuff that is forever closed to them? Besides, you're not really a man until you and your Sex is for CENSORED brothers sneak out in your dads' luxury SUVs every weekend for a winner-takes-all tournament of 90 MPH "chicken" – played late at night on winding, one-lane dirt roads!

9. GET A JOB!
Ask any smart middle-aged dude and he'll tell you: sure, sex may be CENSORED, but it's also super-expensive! But don't take their word for it. Get yourself a dreary, after-school job as an anonymous drone in some soulless corporation that leeches the life right out of you, then see how much you like parting with your hard-earned money just to buy nice presents for some uppity bimbo who's been so warped by liberalism that she has be bribed into filling her God-given role of servicing your unit. Trust us: you'll be all "No way!"

10. SENSORY DEPRIVATION!
Put on five layers of super-baggy clothes, then lock yourself in the closet – along with lots of paper towels for soaking up your urine. While you're there, pray to Christ for guidance – because Jesus hung out with tons of whores, and He never, ever did "it". And why not? So that when He swoops down from heaven in His kickin' white Cadillac Escalade, He'll be able to ID all the sluts and flash-fry them with His laser-beam headlights!

Edit -- Disclaimer
--Disclaimer-- The thoughts, views and opinions in the above post are in no way ascosciated with the views of the Poster. It is the civic duty of the poster to post all text that is found to be funny or humorous. Although measures have been taken to censor the post for the general public.

image
What's your Wu Name?
Donovan --> Wu Name = Violent Knight
Methane47 --> Wu Name = Thunderous Leader
"Some people call me the walking plank, 'cuz any where you go... Death is right behind you.."
<i>ME<i>

Comments

  • Rikimaru_XRikimaru_X Member UncommonPosts: 11,718

    That is retarted. image

    Who ever did that might need a girl....

    -In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
    |
    RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos

  • sidebustersidebuster Member UncommonPosts: 1,712
    sounds like a guy that just got dumped wrote it.
  • FinweFinwe Member CommonPosts: 3,106

    Surely this mans life is full of sarcasm...

    Not to mention...This sort of creeps me out.

    "The greatest trick the devil played on humanity in the 20th century was convincing them that he didn't exist." (Paraphrasing) C.S. Lewis

    "If a mother can kill her own child, what is left before I kill you and you kill me?" -Mother Teresa when talking about abortion after accepting the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979

  • SerienSerien Member CommonPosts: 8,460


    Originally posted by methane47
    2. JOIN A BOY SCOUT TROOP!
    As your awkward, gangly body begins to grow – your muscles blooming, your willowy penis thickening into a sturdy tool, you need the guidance of a middle-aged man who likes to play dress-up and go camping in the woods with hordes of young boys. Then at night, when you're Indian Wrestling wearing the traditional bison hide thong and nothing else, you'll find your burning hunger for "squaw beaver" will flicker out like a citronella candle choked with dead skeeters!
    6. PLAY VIDEO GAMES!
    Spending countless hours playing Halo 2, Doom 3 or Medal of Honor helps you focus on the important things in life, like computer-generated mass murder. It's a valuable skill set, especially for those looking to pursue a career in the military – a noble profession where one blissfully marinates with men in tight spaces for months on end. So the next time your man-pipes rumble, simply take your desires to touch, grope, and melt into another human being, and funnel them into a wholesome virtual homicidal bloodbath!


    LMAO!

    haha, you post the weirdest things...

    image
    http://www.facebook.com/murtb

  • VampirVampir Member Posts: 4,239

    ....... who the hell thought of this deserves to have their brains dissected so we can get more.

    this is funny especially the stuff about the boy scouts, i was too busy playing basketball to ever join. but i have no clue why this was posted.

    This was slightly disturbing though.

    image

    98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.

  • ShrubberShrubber Member Posts: 219

    image

  • Smelly_ArmorSmelly_Armor Member UncommonPosts: 571

    LMAO

    ::::31::::::31::::::31::::::31::::::31::::::31::::::31::::::31::::::01::::::01::::::01::::::01::::::01:::

    I find that both funny and disturbing at the same time so I guess that makes me............::::40::

    I was in Boy Scouts and played football and I found those two especially funny. The last one, number 10 has me a little concerned though......that one is just out there and plain freaky.

    image

  • methane47methane47 Member UncommonPosts: 3,694

    Originally posted by Serien

    LMAO!
    haha, you post the weirdest things...

    LOL Thanks i appreciate that ::::02::

    image
    What's your Wu Name?
    Donovan --> Wu Name = Violent Knight
    Methane47 --> Wu Name = Thunderous Leader
    "Some people call me the walking plank, 'cuz any where you go... Death is right behind you.."
    <i>ME<i>

  • methane47methane47 Member UncommonPosts: 3,694

    I think i'm gonna go through and censor the original post... i didn't originally read through the thing and I realize these are more lewd than i thought...

    image
    What's your Wu Name?
    Donovan --> Wu Name = Violent Knight
    Methane47 --> Wu Name = Thunderous Leader
    "Some people call me the walking plank, 'cuz any where you go... Death is right behind you.."
    <i>ME<i>

  • VampirVampir Member Posts: 4,239
    nah dont censor it things like this are best left raw

    image

    98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.

  • methane47methane47 Member UncommonPosts: 3,694

    Sorry bud, Already did... But i didn't like Pull out stuff
    I just stuck in the word "CENSORED" where i thought the text was alittle too racy...
    I MUST PROTECT MY RANK!!!!!!!!!!!

    ALL YOUR RANK ARE BELONG TO METHANE47

    image
    What's your Wu Name?
    Donovan --> Wu Name = Violent Knight
    Methane47 --> Wu Name = Thunderous Leader
    "Some people call me the walking plank, 'cuz any where you go... Death is right behind you.."
    <i>ME<i>

Sign In or Register to comment.