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How to deal with irresponsible immature parents

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Comments

  • devilisciousdeviliscious Member UncommonPosts: 4,359

    Originally posted by VooDoo_Papa

    do you or any of your siblings have an all encompassing (durable)  power of attorney? 

     No, Not yet.

  • GTwanderGTwander Member UncommonPosts: 6,035

    Originally posted by khirmell

    Continue supporting them in every way you can.

    I agree.

    As my pops always told me growing up; "I made you, and I can destroy you"

    There was no denying that logic... the man knew where I slept every night. Sitting duck mode.

    Don't piss the man off liscious'.

    Writer / Musician / Game Designer

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  • devilisciousdeviliscious Member UncommonPosts: 4,359

    I just want to tell everyone thank you for your support. I am not sure what is going to happen here, My father has deteriorated further and I am not sure what I can and cannot do right now, and my head hurts from thinking about it too much at the moment.

    I hate feeling so helpless watching him go through what he is going through and not being able to fix it for him. I hate watching him struggle like this. It kills me inside to not be able to make this better. The worst feeling in the world to me is to feel helpless and to watch those I care about suffer and not be able to stop it.

    I really honestly would rather theis be happening to me and not him- I know I could handle it, I just cannot handle watching someone I care about go through this.I do not know where I am supposed to find the strength.

  • MunkiMunki Member CommonPosts: 2,128

    Sometimes you really have to let them do what they feel is right.

    Its not easy, but in the same way a parent has to let their kids make mistake you have to let them. Be there when they want the help, but sometime you got to let me make mistakes. Although its not ideal, just make sure you're there when they do want and need your help. Thats all you can do.

    Just do your best and be a loving daughter, its all they could ever ask :)

    image
    after 6 or so years, I had to change it a little...

  • devilisciousdeviliscious Member UncommonPosts: 4,359

    Originally posted by Munki

    Sometimes you really have to let them do what they feel is right.

    Its not easy, but in the same way a parent has to let their kids make mistake you have to let them. Be there when they want the help, but sometime you got to let me make mistakes. Although its not ideal, just make sure you're there when they do want and need your help. Thats all you can do.

    Just do your best and be a loving daughter, its all they could ever ask :)

     It is looking like I am not going to be able to do that. Due to my fathers condition, he is no longer able to understand what people are saying to him at the moment, and after my mothers actions and responses to physicians and other staff, the hospital and state may be moving forward on having them both evaluated. The social worker has already approached both me and my sister about taking over power of attorney, and my sister contacted an attorney today about us possibly getting joint custody if they are both deemed incompetent.

    If it comes down to us being left with no other choice, we will accept it, but we will not do so unless the state gives us no other options. We certainly are not going to allow them to be turned over to the state, but we will not initiate it.

    My mother is unable to care for herself, or my father. In this circumstance, it is a matter of life and death, and the mistakes that have been made by both of them have resulted in him deteriorating further.

    Unless we have some miracle, he may never be returning home again. There is no medicine I can give him to fix him, from here it is completely up to his own body to work around the damage already done.

     

  • MunkiMunki Member CommonPosts: 2,128

    Originally posted by deviliscious

    Originally posted by Munki

    Sometimes you really have to let them do what they feel is right.

    Its not easy, but in the same way a parent has to let their kids make mistake you have to let them. Be there when they want the help, but sometime you got to let me make mistakes. Although its not ideal, just make sure you're there when they do want and need your help. Thats all you can do.

    Just do your best and be a loving daughter, its all they could ever ask :)

     It is looking like I am not going to be able to do that. Due to my fathers condition, he is no longer able to understand what people are saying to him at the moment, and after my mothers actions and responses to physicians and other staff, the hospital and state may be moving forward on having them both evaluated. The social worker has already approached both me and my sister about taking over power of attorney, and my sister contacted an attorney today about us possibly getting joint custody if they are both deemed incompetent.

    If it comes down to us being left with no other choice, we will accept it, but we will not do so unless the state gives us no other options. We certainly are not going to allow them to be turned over to the state, but we will not initiate it.

    My mother is unable to care for herself, or my father. In this circumstance, it is a matter of life and death, and the mistakes that have been made by both of them have resulted in him deteriorating further.

    Unless we have some miracle, he may never be returning home again. There is no medicine I can give him to fix him, from here it is completely up to his own body to work around the damage already done.

    Having had to deal with a power of attorney debate vs to government with my aunt, if the doctor says they are unable to make decisions, and you aren't already given the enduring power of attourney when they are unable to make medical decisions; There is no way to get it.

    From what I was told (atleast in Canada) only the person can grant an enduring power of attourney, and in order to do that they must be of sound mind and deemed able to make that decision. If your sister is already an enduring power of attourney you will be able to make decisions. It is highly unlikely that given what you've said about your parents that a doctor would give a notary the okay to change their enduring power of attourney.

    We managed to get an okay from the doctor, I really hope you get the same... I feel for you, its not easy when family starts to go and the government safe guards start making sure you aren't abusing them.

    image
    after 6 or so years, I had to change it a little...

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