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The more I play MMO's the more I see people with personality problems.
Rikimaru_X
Member UncommonPosts: 11,718
What's going on guys. I know this may be a long read for some of you, but I just want to have a discussion about the atittudes, personalities, or even the psychological problems of most players we encounter in MMO's.
I've been playing mmo's off and on for a long time. Aion happens to be my first P2P and I've been playing that since Chinese P2P. To me, I still feel pretty new to the MMO scene, even though I keep updated with them all the time and play them often. When I play a mmo, my real persona falls into there. Even though I carry good morals and can't carry a conversation with very few people about what I like to do (dancing, gym, ladies, nightlife, etc), I always meet some very interesting people from all over.
Then you start to meet a lot of people who really don’t play MMO's as a vacation from life. They bring their drama INTO the game. It's almost like when you’re at work, and Lisa clocks-in with a big attitude over what her baby's daddy did to her and stuff. When people generate attitudes over a game, I'm starting to think there is a big problem in their life.
I've had one woman leave our guild to a higher guild, because she "thought" that she could get what she wanted for free. The most honest thing I've ever heard from her was something like this (which took place in ventrilo), "Look; in life, I don't get what I want. I don't get what I want from my husband and he’s trying to find a job, my kids that are disabled, it's hard! I just actually want to have something to be happy about...." So her real life was pretty much too demanding and declining. I responded sort of like this, "I understand, but if that's the case you are playing the wrong game. In order to get what you want in life and in this game, you have to work. Grinding is no different then hustling. I don’t see why you can’t just do the hard work to achieve what you want? We are all doing it and not looking for handouts from anybody…"
She also tried to throw in that we don’t do anything, etc, etc. but this woman had the strongest core group in the guild. She just wasn’t getting what she wanted. The way that story ends is that she did leave our guild and 2 months later, everybody in my guild was decked out in the latest, strongest gear and she was still nowhere with the same crap gear she went in with. She was nothing in that guild and the guild even died. When I confronted her about that, I was blocked. This is ok, because in the end, she knows I was right.
This is just one story from the many incidents I've been though. People get aggregated, angry, become deceiving, etc. all in this game. This makes me wonder if this is the way they act or it’s all a front. Why do people with life issues who bring them into MMO's where it should be a place where you can relax. We all can have issues, but why play a game where’re your interacting with other people?
Generally the MMO world and real life isn't too different in some ways. You have to sometimes work hard and do odd jobs to get where you need to be. I figure I could hear some other people's comments and stories on situations like these.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Comments
People are people, both in rl and vl. I am myself when playing and when not, with all the good and bad stuff. What's so surprising about it? I ve met people in games that have ended up beeing my rl friends, and we still see each other often although we no longer play the same game. I ve met people in real life I would play no game at all with. Both in games and in rl you have nice people, a**holes, smart ones, dumb ones, lazy ones, hardworking ones, etc etc.
My gaming time is part of my real life, the same way my working time is, my "playing-with-my-rock-band" is or my "gonna-visit-mom-cos-I-havent-seen-her-for-too-long-now" is. If you start playing with me regularly for a decent while, you will get to know the good and the bad stuff about me, and this stuff will be equally good or bad in my personal rl. You could get to know that stuff about me while sharing some beers or while sharing some dungeon runs.
TL;DR version:
There are assholes and nitwits in virtual worlds just like in the real world?
-Letting Derek Smart work on your game is like letting Osama bin Laden work in the White House. Something will burn.-
-And on the 8th day, man created God.-
As a fellow Aion player (great game, btw), and a player/fan of other MMOs, I've seen a lot of what you describe as well. I'm someone who doesn't bring real life issues into a game, especially MMOs. I play the game because, well, it's a game, and nothing to do with real life. That's the point, right? So I have a hard time understanding people who feel the need to inject drama and their own RL issues into their play. Seems to me that when you do that, the game becomes less of a game and more of a chore. But, as you showed in your example, it happens, and is happening more and more.
Perhaps in the age of Facebook and other social media, where people live more of their "real life" online, this is a natural phenoma that will continue to grow.
They can adjust a game all day, but they can't help the issue between the keyboard and the chair.
Played: UO, DAoC, AC, WoW, EVE, TR, WAR, Aion, Rift, SWTOR, GW2, TSW, ESO, Elite:D
Play EVE for free for 21 days
Yeah. I have a theory about that. Most people that are online all the time have certain "problems" or issues. The people who you'd likely look at and say "that person that have any form of people issues" are likely to be the kind of person that has no interest in the virtual world beyond playing a game or two at a friend's house.
In second life, I run an island with my friend and you can ban people. The main ban list has over 350 people and the other one has about 200 or 250+. And my personal mute list is between 300-500 people. Maybe in the grand scheme of things thats not a lot in terms of the number of people I've come across in Second Life. Also a thing to consider is that I'm in Second Life for bussiness and creative purposes while many people are there to use it as a glorified chat room, porn device, actual second life, and dating service, etc etc. I've tried making friends in the game since I was there and exploring. But I wont bother you with my Second Life's Story (lolz), but the only people that have stayed on my friend's list is my RL friend and two other people who are also in the game for creative purposes. It could just be me, but looking back at it, these people get emotional and irrational like the lady in your guild.
I guess its just a part of being online. I'm sure if we had the amount of RL interactions as online ones, and we all wore masks, it'd be the same. People aren't afraid of being A-holes and being 100% honest online, but they are in RL.
You should have just gave her the XP pot and gone back to reading the paper...
...how do you think anyone survives marriage?
Writer / Musician / Game Designer
Now Playing: Skyrim, Wurm Online, Tropico 4
Waiting On: GW2, TSW, Archeage, The Rapture
That was my takeaway, as well. Real life just allows you to seperate into preferred groups more, whereas most MMOs seem to be built on the odd and historically false principle that if they code different ways to forced unlike people together, people will get to know one another and love all over each other. Sometimes that works with pets, usually while they are puppies and kittens. Other times you end up with a dead kitten.
There isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to play, if you want to use a screwdriver to put nails into wood, have at it, simply don't complain when the guy next to you with the hammer is doing it much better and easier. - Allein
"Graphics are often supplied by Engines that (some) MMORPG's are built in" - Spuffyre
Me and you share the same things in common. People and real life and the game have their problems. I just sometimes don't understand why people in the game bring their real problem into it. I can see it more reasonable in maybe a shooter, fighter, or beat-em-up, where you can satisfy that. I love gaming and I'm more of the console type and we all know how online gaming can go when it comes to console gaming. In a community like an MMO, it's just strange to me why people brew their RL problems or try to solve the RL ones in here.
I've been though many situations and I know it's pretty normal as RL, but behind keboards it makes people more easier to vent attacking others. It's not the same as meeting that negetive person in RL.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
How can I put this nicely? I believe you shouldn't have contacted her when her plans to leave you guys and go with the other legion backfired.
Kicking a woman while she's down...sigh.
There are same people playing MMOs which you meet IRL. I don't see why many except different behavior, considering that MMOs are often the closest you can come to RL (economy, politics, etc). If people are whiners irl, they will be so ingame as well. If they are social and polite IRL, they will often be so ingame as well.
You should get out more often...
There's plenty to go around
"Be water my friend" - Bruce Lee
I agree with you. I think it's the social media age. I think it's starting to become a trend.
Yeah the theroy I can agree with in a way. It seems the more time they put in it that they may have certain "problems" or issues. Now that isn't always true, because I have met people who are pretty chilled and entertaining who do play all the time. It really depends.
No, she contacted me about the plan to leave and everything. As I said, she was real honest, but being blind at the same time. See me, I treat everybody the same. It dosen't matter what your sex is, but I try to help people realise that this isn't a single player game. You can't put in cheat codes to get what you want and you can't expect people to help you when your nothing but that bottom chick/guy. I didn't kick her down about it at all really. I'm sure she felt like an a** because of what happend, but we were friends and she was so overly jelious of our sucess and her failure it led her to block me.
I don't expect diffrent. I could say the economy was a big hit in the MMO world as I've talked to many people about jobs, many jobs lost, politics, etc. But see what I'm talking about is most whine about the game, but it stems from something that happend RL. It's not beacause of the game though.
LOL, I go out more than you think. My profession is nightlife. :P
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Well that is pretty standard... Games are an escape too... She didn't really wanted to progress in the game probably, she wanted to escape the reality.
As MMORPGs become mainstream, they start to cater to people of all kinds, with and without strong personality problems. Some sick part of me loves to hear about that stories of derailed people that enter virtual worlds.
I believe this is where you over-stepped. One fact that you over looked is that, MMO is a game. To tell someone to "work hard" in a game is a stupid move. So what if she brings her drama into the game, you don't have to be the fuel to the fire. This kind of response is what breaks many good guild, because there will be someone else who heard would simply do not agree with you and will leave without saying their reason for leaving.
Sometimes you just need to be polite and say, "...what ever you decide to do, I'll respect it. If you want to leave the guild, I can simply respect that. But if you need someone to help you out or form a party with, you know where we are and we're still happy to help."
But instead, you judge her with your words just to prove that you are right. If you know you are right, you don't have to prove it, since there's only something to lose and nothing to gain.
Keep that in mind.
Ready for GW2!!!
Well I can't fully disclose the whole conversation, what caused it, etc. I just wanted to give you an example of the facts. During our conversation I respected her honesty, her confronting me and what she decided to do. One thing in mmos I find is that people don't want to burn bridges with the truth. They usually want to find an excuse. She has responded pretty negatively to many things she quite often took advatage of. It's a really deep situation that I had to handle. When I confronted her to show her that I was right was the sole fact of seeing what her plans would be for the future of the game. She knew she had an option coming back but decided to block me instead. Her husband spoke to me to tell me that something been wrong with her in RL.
I know where your coming from jvx and being that this happend over a year ago I get to learn diffrent approcahes on how to deal with most things. A lot of this was mostly between me and her. Her leaving didn't ruin anything but gave another class the posiiting to be the rising star. I did learn one thing you said back then though, that there isn't nothing to lose and nothing to gain from stating the fact.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Drama typically comes from getting too personal. Familiarity breeds contempt. Ive found generally the more comfortable a person gets with another person, or a group, the more drama is likely to unfold.
When Joe tells me, " Hey lets go kill some orcs! " we go and have fun. When Joe gets comfortable enough to start telling me about his horrible in laws, and how his kid is failing in school, it goes too far. Most people are simply looking for someone to be comfortable enough with to just unload on.
They dont really want your advice. They just want you to nod your head and accept everything they say. This is why I try with all my might, in life and in games, to maintain a certain degree of familiarity. Too little and you may as well not know the person. Too much and you find yourself in the middle of their argument with their wife.
OP, this is where you went wrong. You fostered this familiarity. You listened and participated. So not only was this woman bringing her real life into the game to some degree, but you were participating as well and fostering it. You got too familiar with this woman.
Choose your friends and those close to you very very carefully. The more close people you have, the more drama you'll end up having in your own life. And this even includes your online buddies.
I'd have to agree with you. There was a time where I did know things here and there and I did fostered familiarity in this situation. Her and her husband did intreact with me in game as we played together. This is actually something I learned back then when it comes down to it. I never play favertism, but I'll listen and nod. Sometimes just them knowing that you would listen and not say nothing is enough familiarity. Even if it isn't for you, it is for them. See sometimes this is fine for me as I can deal with it, but I didn't think people would pin this into the game as in playstyle/gear/attributes/etc. She actually compared her life and the game. Where as she couldn't get what she want in life, but possibly could in this game. That actually blown my mind.
So I start to find a lot of people have this mentality.
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Look, it's not just MMO's were people have issues that bubble to the surface. Any form or discussion group you log into you gonna find it. If you look at the discussions on Fox News Web site you see it all...from all kinds. The internet allows people to express their deepest darkest parts of their personalitys. The woman you discribed is preatty mild compaired to some of the people I have encountered on the inernet. But you are right....people act and behave differently on line than they do in real life.