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After painstaking research and polls, and countless hours reading through posts from experts and fans on here and various other MMO sites, and hearing what the community 'truley' wants... I think i've finally figured it out.
This is what i've gathered so far. Feel free to add what you will. These are 'your' words, not mine!
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If your game is exactly like WoW - People will gripe and piss and moan and say it will fail.
If your game is nothing at all like WoW - People will gripe and piss and moan and say it will fail.
If your game doesn't magically get 10-12 million subscribers overnight or by the first 2-3 days of launch - It will fail.
If your game actually DOES magically get 10-12 million subscribers overnight.. its still not WoW. It will fail.
If your game has an open world free for all pvp system - It will fail.
If your game is more focused on PvE and Duels and Battlegrounds than PvP - It will fail.
If your game has a nice mix of PvE and PvP, and everything is pretty fair and balanced - It will fail.
If your game is a sandbox - It will fail.
If your game is a themepark - It will fail. ..and then people will talk about your game and use that post to strike up a sandbox/themepark troll thread that ends up getting locked 12 pages later.
If your game is from anywhere in or around Asia - Its probably a free to play grind that will fail.
If your game is from anywhere in or around Germany - Its probably made by Gamigo and will fail.
If your game offers lifetime subscriptions - Its going to fail.
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This is what i've learned so far from listening to the community at large.
Comments
You forgot to mention that WoW is the worst thing to happen to MMOs ever.
Also if you don't have epic/awesome crafting the game will fail.
If you're game isn't exactly what I want (when everyone wants something different)--the game will fail.
wow, you really did your homework.
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Corpus Callosum
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Although being funny and witty, this thread actually accomplishes nothing.
Yeah, because every time we post we're all secretly hoping it 'accomplishes' something. Posts don't need to accomplish shit lol.
Yeah they do! They have to provide my life with meaning every single time I read a word!
I'd call bullshit on that if this was any other forum, but knowing what MMORPG.com is like, I don't doubt that :P
If your game is from anywhere in or around Germany - Its probably made by Gamigo and will fail.
If your game offers lifetime subscriptions - Its going to fail.
If your game is not innovative - it will fail
If your game is innovative and different from what I usually play - it will fail
Yep, every post on MMORPG forums is well researched, lucid, to the point, and constructive
If your post doesn't accomplish anything... it will fail.
I prefer funny humor, not stupid, "make an idiotic assumption and wonder why it leads to idiotic conclusions", humor.
If SOE is involved in your game - it will fail.
There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke, though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns, and more than suspects that the joke is at nobody's expense but his own.
-- Herman Melville
If your MMO has subscription fees - People will say that it's not worth the sub and that it will fail.
If your MMO is F2P or B2P - People will complain about the cash shop and say that it will fail.
very funny post. I would only add:
...if your game doesn't have swimming...it will fail
If a game includes pandas...it will fail
If a game has cute graphics, vibrant graphics, or any graphics that don't inspire suicidal emo thoughts among its community... it's made for kids and hence it will fail
If a game has a subscription fee...it will fail
If a game is F2P...its really P2W and it will fail
If a game uses a new IP...its unfamiliar and will fail
If a game uses an existing IP...its unoriginal and will fail
It obviously accomplished entertaining you if you admit it was funny and witty.
I'm guessing that's exactly what the OP was trying to do.
Skill system and loot like AC1, PvP like DAoC, Open world, No insta travel, No instancing, Ok to good graphics
If you can't jump, it will fail
If you can jump it'll be a faceroll dumbed down action MMO and will fail
Maybe re title the thread to say "The ultimate secret to making a solid, fail MMO. (..or 'What i've learned from mmorpg.com')
If an MMO has the same old quests - players will get bored and it will fail.
If an MMO is not completely skill based - Skilled players will leave and it will fail.
If an MMO doesn't have gear progression - Players will get bored and it will fail.
If an MMO is really hyped - It will fail because of the big expectations.
If an MMO is not really hyped - It will fail because it's crap. That's the reason it's not really hyped riiiiight?
If an MMO does server merges some months after being released - It will fail.
If an MMO doesn't do server merges - It will fail because there are not enough people on my server.
If I don't like an MMO - It will fail because my MMO is better than yours and because all people have the same tastes, so obviously my MMO is superior.
If an MMO is made by Funcom - It will fail because it will be bad at launch.
If your game doesn't include everything that I personally want - It will fail
If your game doesn't include something that only the hardcore 5% of mmo gamers want - It will fail
If your game makes one mis-step, immediately apologies and fixes the situation - It will fail, they showed either a) their true colours or b) weakness
If your game gets good reviews on this website - It probably bought those reviews, thus showing the greed that will lead them to fail
If you game gets bad reviews on this website - It should have bought good reviews, thus showing a lack of vision that will lead them to fail