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Friend Possibly Suicidal
anti^social
Member Posts: 25
I dont know if this is the best place to go looking for information but im trying. I have a friend who is possibly suicidal and has cut herself once and im urging her not to do it anymore (I know she attemted to commit suicide once before). Her mom is very unsupportive of her (not her other children) and her parents are divorced. She crys alot and comes to talk to me alot too. Im not exactly the best supportive person in the world and i dont really know how to help out. Can anyone give me suggestions as to what I should do to help? Thanks a lot in advance.
Comments
have sex with her then call the police, they will get her into a hospital
I don't mean this to sound harsh, but if you feel that you can't support her or help her, then you shouldn't. You could only make things worse if you say the wrong thing. However, if you really want to help and don't know what to say, go to her and let her talk. That's it. You don't need to say anything, just let her talk.
If needed, you can contact a suicide hotline for the best help. Or talk to her mom. You say her mom doesn't care, but I bet if you told her that her daughter is about to kill herself she would step up and intervene.
Actually, when you cut yourself you don't want to commit suicide, you just want attention.
So, your friend is not suicidal, she's just an attention whore.
Hey man, i wouldnt say im suicidal although at times it does cross my mind. Im currently seeing psychiatrists, occupational therapist, and a carer from a mental health charity. Been on so many different prescribed drugs it would take me hours to list them all
. I cut my arm real bad out of anger in front of my parents few years ago (with a serated edge steak knife, then rubbed the blood on my face) right down to the bones almost cause shit pissed me off so much(not becausei wanted to die). Best advice i can give is go on medication only as a last resort - so many side effects etc and other problems that can occur from them (was prescribed anti psychotics at one stage which i still think to this day screwed my mind up more). Just be supportive of her and try get her and her one of her parents to see a therapist so her mother can find out and see it is a real problem. Get her out as much as possible and be there for her dont let her stay in alone etc because thats when your mind just goes off thinking. Probably best idea though is get her to see a councellor.
EDIT: i agree with the guy above although if no attention is gained it could get worse.
You know what the silliest thing about suicide is...
Your gonna get there eventually anyway!
If you treat the journey as an adventure, even the bad stuff can have its own level of enjoyment.
Lets face it... most young people these days want to die because they couldnt get the colour Ipod they wanted. Suicide rates during WW2 for example were lower than they are today
Today we are turning everyday life into a "set of skills" you need a life coach to tell you how to get a good job, a therapist to tell you how to relax, a phsycologist to tell you how to think. The only thing none of them will say is the only thing most people need to hear... GET A GRIP AND GET OVER YOURSELF!!
There are people starving, kids being put into armies, women being raped and tortured EVERYDAY ALL OVER THE WORLD!. They dont get to "go to therapy" or "take a pill" to fix it. They just get on with life.
Youll be dead soon enough... meantime enjoy the ride...
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"MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
http://purepwnage.com
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"Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon
Suicidal thoughts can accompany other mental health problems though, or lead to them. And living with and illness is hard - especially if its bad anxiety,schizophrenia,bi polar etc.
Also modern society is alot more crazier than how it was in ww2, even with the war going on.
Get ahold of your local suicide hotline (Most cities have them)
http://suicidehotlines.com/ will help you find the #
They have counsellors who can help you to help your friend.
Biggest part is to listen to your friend. I know you said you aren't the most supportive person but she has turned to you for help as her family is unsupoortive.If she feels comfotable confiding in you then do your best.
Crying for no apparent reason or due to what can be termed RL stress is a sign of depression and can lead to thoughts of unworthiness and also suicide.
Your main job thought above and beyond listening is to get your friend to seek help from qualified people. If a person is depressed and/or suicidal the normal person may be able to avert 1 or more attempts but in the long term will not be able to have that person delve deep enough to find and try to solve the underlying reasons. Which will lead to a final attempt in the next week/month/year. Somewhat like putting a bandage on a torn artery.
Your friend is predisposed to attempting. You stated she had cut herself once already. I am unsure of the extent of the attempt, but many "first" attempts are experimental and in many ways a shout for help.
So call the hotline and see what you can do from there. Gonna be a rough little bit for you but at least you are trying to help and not ignoring her.
I suggest talk to her, like I did to a friend of mine too. If you don't have enough wisdom or knowledge for a life changing chat, call a hotline of find a . . . psych-a-otrist (? i think those are the people) and get her some help (it won't be free).
I gave up on the girl who is kinda my friend. I think she is a slut now. If she dose'nt listen, let her guide herself...she will see the outcome of her own future, maybe even soon enough to change it (hopefully).
-In memory of Laura "Taera" Genender. Passed away on Aug/13/08-
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RISING DRAGOON ~AION US ONLINE LEGION for Elyos
Couldent have said it better myself mate - simply, the best post ever.
- He Who Fears Death Is In Denial, For Death Is Promised. -
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.
Well, to be fair, WWII had some of the lowest suicide rates of the last 100 years. A more comparable statistic is suicide during the early 1930's, which was about on par with right now.
It's not always as easy as "getting over it," but that's hard to explain to someone who's never had actual clinical depression. To someone that hasn't experienced that, it's hard to comprehend why people can't just stop being so damned sad. Unfortunately, the depths of depression are an all-encompassing, all-consuming feeling that cause irrational thoughts and behaviors, making it quite difficult to just stop. It's not that they wouldn't care about rape and torture victims when confronted with that knowledge, but rather that their minds can't focus much energy on anything other than feeling like crap. In fact, the sheer amount of problems in the world can ADD to that feeling if they feel like there's nothing they can do to help.
I DO think we've way over-treated a problem we never really understood, and as a result there are thousands of teenagers on way too many medications. I was an extremely depressed teenager and at the time I would have been perfectly fine with dying. When I hit 22 or 23, it pretty much just faded away. I have no idea what caused it, but I suspect it was excess or imbalanced hormones. Even having experienced it, I look back and have no idea how I could have thought like that. Depression is a weird thing.
On the other hand, there ARE plenty of people who are just attention starved and wouldn't know depression if it smacked them in the face with a 2x4, so your message is perfectly applicable to them.
my advice (i know a few people who cut themsevles and are suposedly suicidal): talk to them and talk some sense into them. suicide is really stupid and a dumb idea. why would you want to commit suicide. dont be a stupid human and think that everything revolves around you and you deserve everything in the world and if you dont get it youll cut yourself (im not suggesting thats her, just what i usually see). i knew a girl who ran away from her house and cut herself because her parents wouldnt go get here a pizza stick from pizza hut at 10PM.
just sit down and talk to her about EVERYTHING. the best way to get rid of harsh feelings is to vent. just let her vent on you everyday.
*tip* if you are depressed about the way you look. sit inside and play video games all day!
That's a nice opinion and point, too bad it's track record doesn't live up to the good advice. Yeah, I've heard that advice and, I've even given that advice to people before, turns out it only makes the ones depressed more depressed frustrating isn't it?
Abraham Lincoln once said something like this; people only choose whether to be happy or sad. Psychiatrist called him a manic depressive, kinda makes you think. I've been on some therapy, and too be completely honest it's not a short term answer to the problem at hand. I never used the suicidal/mental health hotline because, I felt talking to someone you don't know really can't help you that much but, I could be wrong phones may have some kind of stigma too the troubled ones, just not me.
If you are going to get them into therapy know that it's going to be a slow process, they have to be patient, after about 6 months and not really feeling any better, I decided that if anyone is going to change my mind on life it'll have to be me. I dived into many a depressive thoughts, got myself sick of hearing it and broke free of them, started learning about life, without that blind affect depression can lay on you. Now I know why I feel the way I do at times and know how to counter it. Only one person can change you for the better and that person is you.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth - That question is less stupid but, you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
Back when I believed my dad could do no wrong, America had never lost a war, and that everything would be alright, and I could be an astronaught...I used to think that anyone who killed themselves were just spoiled or stupid or couldnt even wonder why they would do that.
But after being homeschooled from grade 4 to grade 10, witnessing a massive change in how I perceive the world. I can relate, I definitely think there is something, at the very least, hormonal about the depression that seems to either on the rise or just recently noticed.
I'm 18. Some days are good, some are bad.
Some days I say "OMFG I FEEL GREAT I'M GONNA START RUNNING AGAIN. IM GONNA GO START THINGS etc etc".
Others..."If this car hit me right now...would I care?"
And then the next day "I'M GONNA PUNCH THE SHIT OUTA THE NEXT THING THAT WALKS IN THIS ROOM"
My dog max won't come into my room any more :P
serisouly though, anyone who hasn't felt this kind of depression will never understand why.
umm you are off bro, America lost a war before you were born.
Home Schooled, doesn't really qualify for an eye opening event either
gg tho
nore
not cool bro, not cool.
Yeah that sounds like Depression. Your hormones are totally outta whack. Some days you'll get "highs" and some days you'll get "lows". It doesnt take any reason to have a bad day. They just happen. I've had depression for a long time and have been on several different types of anti-depressants. What an anti-depressant does is to stabilize the rollercoaster effect that your moods go through. It takes away the lows but unfortunately it takes away the highs as well.
When I stopped taking all the meds the depression returned. Theres not a whole lot I can do about stopping the bad mood swings. They just come. But I am able to control how I react when I'm in this bad mood. Takes self control but it works.
Depression is a brutal disorder. If you never had it you'll never understand it. Hence all the jokes that have been tossed around in this thread.
Probably the best thing I got out of my anti-depressants was they relieved the obsessive thinking processes. Depression is linked to obsession and obsession has a shelf life I believe, it nuetralized that for the couple months I was on them. That helped me focus on other things but, couldn't change my interests, I wish I could be more interested in the so called "fulfilling" things in life.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth - That question is less stupid but, you asked it in a profoundly stupid way.
They were lower than because of the population? How bigger is it now? Like .5x more? Also because our population are a bunch of spoiled brats and think its the end of the world if they don't get their damn ipod. Oh noes, I'm not in the cool crowd anymore.
EDIT: Oh yeah, I had manic depression (although I still think its there a bit at times, creeping out at effective times) but what pretty much gave my treatment (I never went to any psychologist or anything, I took paxil 40mg though and cymbalta before that.. cym just made it worse) was the realizing of my own mortality.
You can scream about suiciding all you want but you'll have to realize there is no respawning, no one ups, nothin'. You die and you stay that way. Now, it might make people more depressed on that thought but you have to think that you aren't going to waste your one chance at life, that and my ferret died because of frickin' hornets.
Regardless, if you don't feel your depression is going to be helped any. Get some help. And fyi, some people just wouldn't understand depression but I feel that some are just using it as an excuse to get what they want. E.g. if they feel like wanting an ipod, they'll just say they're going to suicide and cut their arm and voila, psychological hit. But anyone thinking that they can just crawl out of depression is dead wrong.. it's hard and it's difficult, you'd not know if you never had it.
ok, first of all don't listen to the retards here trying to look cool by giving bad advice. You need to talk to your friend and let her know that you're there for her anytime she needs someone to talk to. Then I suggest telling her about a suicide hotline and if you care about this girl stay close as much as you can and make her feel needed. If you have a good relationship with her parents you can try talking to them to but that's your call. You have to remember that the worst thing for a suicidal person is to be left alone. Also remember to never be patronising when giving her advice, just be a friend and communicate, tell her about your problems too and try to sort things out, it's always essential to find the root of the problem when dealing with depressive people. If she does feel depressed all the time the cause could be a simple chemical imbalance in her brain, something that medicine can fix easily, explain this to her and the whole thing will hopefully seem less serious than it was before. Depression is all about 'choosing' to feel down and sad, it's something that you can overcome simply by willing it to end and seeking the companionship and friendship of others.
I hope this bit of advice helps and good luck
Have played:
UO, WOW, COH/V, EQ2
Currently playing:
Age of Conan (EU)
I'm sorry but these boards really aren't the place to ask for personal advice. Every smart comment is followed by a foolish one, it seems.
"Whoever controls the media controls the mind..-'Jim Morrison"
"When decorum is repression, the only dignity free men have is to speak out." ~Abbie Hoffman
Suicide in a western thing. For example, when a big earth quick hit Japan, allot or people died from it but the funny shit is, even more people died after it because they committed suicide. Why did they? because their small crappy houses with their PC and "life" inside it was broken and gone. Just shows you how materialistic we have become and how the damn values have changed.
Other reason being is that people in our society are way distant from what we were before. Like I lived in Persia for some years, my father side of the family were there. We always gathered and had fun and ate at restaurants at least ONCE EVERY WEEK if not more, and a lot more stuff too. But man, when I returned to US where my mother side of the family is, man we only like see each others family members maybe like once each year. Even though were like 2 hours away from each other and we have good cars and safe streets to travel with and all that stuff.
another thing is the damn TV man. The people in TV are so damn "perfect" and a certain way, that all the rest of the world think they are failures. And don't tell me your just stupid to listen to TV and that it has no effect on you. Thats just BS! If you live in US like me, people are so controlled by TV, you can almost say people are TV. Peoples minds change by them changing the channels ... its that bad. I mean if right now there was a FOX NEWS alert! " SUICIDE IS GOOD!" Every damn person would go comment suicide. Well I guess the other reason I talked about are because of TV too ... I mean we just don't become materialistic over night, we watch damn TV and see the adds for nice stuff and how they will make our life easier and perfect ... all I have to say is that the values have changed man ... they have freaking changed ...
Also when I was in Persia, suicide was NONE existent! Because TV over there has like 5 channels, and one of it is NEWS only! LOL. SO people had to actually LIVE and not set their asses on the couch for countless hours each day watching TV. Well and another factor is that suicide in the single most worse thing you can do in Islam. If you comet suicide you go straight to hell, no questions asked. It says that in the Quran. So yeah, people are scared of hell so they don't do suicide stuff. Like my sister is sorta missed up, anyway she was ... she wouldn't eat food, she thought she was fat, and she a Gothic now in US, shes damn weird man. Well anyway, she told me should have suicided long time ago if she wouldn't go to hell for it ....
btw, gothic chicks are damn hot!
In my field of paper flowers, candy clouds of lullaby. I lay inside myself for hours, and watch my purple sky fly over me. ~*Evanescence*~
Also, as early as the 11th century, the Assassins, Muslim fighters living in northern Persia, adopted suicide terrorism as a strategy to advance their cause. In the 18th century, the Muslim communities of the Malabar Coast in India, Atjeh in Sumatra, and Mindanao and Sulu in the Southern Philippines resorted to suicide attacks when faced with European colonial repression.9
EHHH!! You are the weakest link, good bye.