Howdy, Stranger!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Quick Links
Are MMO's worth the sacrifice?
Corden
Member UncommonPosts: 68
Well, I've been debating about whether to resume MMO's as a hobby for some time. I've gone over it quite a bit in my head, but before I make my final decision, I wanted to get advice from those a little older or wiser than I.
Basically it's like this: I started MMO's in mid 2004 with SWG. I loved the game and then continued on to others. I mainly played WoW, but also just about every other major release for at least a month or so. MMO's dominated my life from the time I was 15 to 24 years old. I had pretty much no social life outside the games. A large part of this was because I was home schooled so I lived a pretty solitary life style as a teen.
Anyways, just trying to give a summary of the details so you can see where I'm coming from. Basically, starting last year, I did what I thought I could never do and quit the MMO's, got my GED and got a job in retail which I've had for the last eight months.
Here's where I'm at now: I've been missing the MMO's constantly since I've quit. I don't miss the useless and complete waste of time grind that so many MMO's embody, but what I really do miss are the other geeks, and I admit, part of me would love to get lost in a fantasy world and RP with others. While I've made friends at my job, I don't really hang out with them at all outside of work. I just don't have all that much in common with them.
The thing is, I'm 25 years old now, and I really want to go to college, but I know there's little chance of being able to work 35+ hours a week, attend college, AND play an MMO.
Should I accept that MMO's are a part of me and it's worth sacrificing other opportunities for? Should I try and balance all three? Or maybe I'm just scared of going to school and using MMO's as a crutch to attempt to get out of it for the time being?
I know this is a long, boring, meandering post, but I noticed that a lot of you guys on here are older, and probably more experienced, than I, but also MMO advocates, so you probably understand my passion for the hobby unlike most others.
My gut is telling me to ditch the MMO hobby once and for all or at least until I'm through with school, but my passion speaks differently.
Anyone have any insight at all?
Thanks in advance.
Comments
Think about the future. Ask yourself this .. if you spend lots of time in MMOs and miss going to college, will you regret it?
Will you believe then that whatever time you spend in a MMO is a waste?
You can only answer those questions for yourself.
Personally, games are no where close to as important to me as career and family. So my answer, if I were you, would be obvious. However, that is me .. you have to find the answer yourself.
Obviously no game is worth sacrificing your real life future for. Real life should come first. Seems like you probably should have some free time even with school and work so you should have the option of playing games in moderation (perhaps at a cost to your non-gaming social life though). You probably know yourself better than others do though. If you don't think you can play MMOs in moderation might be best to avoid them.
Hello Corden
You are probably stuck between what you would like to do (play mmo's a LOT
) and what you think you should do (what others say is right to do).
Now I do not believe in morality as a mental exercise that tells us how we should live, to me the force that naturally drives human beings is enjoyment. enjoyment basically tells us what is good for us.
BUT where the problem lays with enjoyment is ATTACHMENT. Attachment actually is a perversion of enjoyment and stems from our fear to not enjoy: to suffer. it makes us to want to stuck to what we remember that gave us pleasure and we don't want to let go anymore, we get stuck in it.
As soon attachment comes in then enjoyment is not leading us anymore to what is good for us.
So what i suggest is that you follow your heart, without getting stuck, that is, do everything you like to do, not only mmo's. Don;t let one enjoyment make you forget about the other things you enjoy.
If you take everything softly, lightheartedly this wont happen. don't be rigid, just follow your heart without becoming extreme.
Do it like when you where a small kid: you play. not to run from things, not to hide, not to avoid life, but simply to play and to enjoy. if you approach mmo's in that way, everything is cool
that is my humble opinion.
it is your path, your life, your life to enjoy, only you will find your way
good luck and ENJOY
afriaen
I appreciate the replies guys, and you helped me make up my mind.
I know what's best for me, and I know I need to go to school. As much as I long for the times of being 17 and carefree on my games, I'm not 17 anymore and the guilt alone would kill me if I trade off college for MMO's. If I could freeze time and not age for another five years, I would probably play like a mad man for a year or two and join a guild, RP, PvP, raid.. But it's not worth the trade off, or time invested in the end.
In reality, I PvP'ed, did dungeons, and enough grinding to last a life time. The only thing I really regret is I never got to RP more. It was the one activity I never did much. Perhaps I'll just find a forum or some such so I can finally give it go without time sink of the MMO's them selves.
Again, thanks guys. If even other MMO's are telling me that they don't think it's worth it, then I know it's time to move on. As much as I love MMO's, I know I'll kick myself so hard when I'm in my 30's if I'm still stuck in a retail job because I chose a MMOing over education. I'll play my single player games here and there which I can moderate when I get the gaming itch, but I think I'm closing the MMO chapter at least until I'm done with school if not for good.
Guess I won't be coming to these forums much anymore.
Take care all.
I'd like to submit that you're looking at this all wrong. You can't generically go to college. You can only go to a particular college in pursuit of a particular degree. If you want to get a worthwhile degree from a worthwhile university and want to graduate in 4-5 years, that's a full-time job in itself. You're not going to be able to do that and work 35 hours per week at a job unrelated to college unless you love both your job and being a student, and even then it would be rough. And if you were so academically inclined, I'd question why you didn't go to college around the age of 18. To spend most of your waking hours working on things you dislike just doesn't work. Humans simply aren't built for that, and you've only got so much energy, even at your young age.
What you really don't want to do is to sacrifice a bunch to go to college for a year or two, drop out, and have nothing to show for it but a bunch of debt. Another thing that you really don't want to do is to go to college, graduate with a degree in the Useless Studies (pro tip: if a major has the word "studies" in the name, it's probably useless), have made major sacrifices to get there, and be no better off for having a useless degree.
If the problem is that you had the aptitude to be good at academics but foolishly didn't put in the effort, but are more mature now, then going to college now may make sense for you. But if you were never much good at academics, that's not likely to change now, and if you were to go to college, you probably wouldn't graduate with a worthwhile degree.
If college does make sense for you, you'll almost certainly need to choose between being a full time student and holding a full time job, while only being part time on the other. Some colleges do make it possible to be a half-time student and take 8 years to graduate.
Notice that I haven't yet talked about MMORPGs. That's because it isn't terribly relevant to the above discussion. What you need to be able to do is to play computer games in your free time but never have them take priority over something else. If you weren't going to be working or studying anyway, there's nothing wrong with playing computer games if the realistic alternative is watching television.
But what's very, very important is that you need to be able to play games for half an hour or an hour or whatever and then quit and go do something else. Or some days, not play at all because you're too tired or too busy or whatever. Six-hour marathon gaming sessions are okay once in a great while, but not the sort of thing that you can do every day if you want to be a responsible adult. You don't need to abandon MMORPGs entirely unless your personality is that once you start, you can't stop.
The good news is that MMORPGs are far more human-friendly in this regard than they were a decade ago. A lot of games will let you play for a bit, then stop, come back the next day, and pick up where you left off. Or the next week. Or the next month. Endgame raiding would probably be out for you, but most of the rest of most MMORPGs is accessible to a responsible adult, so long as you're willing to progress more slowly than the people who live in the game.
Or you could allow yourself to learn something you will eventually have to learn anyway.
How to control yourself.
So, you fell victim to playing way too often and didn't learn how to stop. Whats to prevent you from falling to parting too much in College? Drinking too much? become addicted to drugs? Becoming a work-a-holic?
Everything in life, no matter what it is, is bad for you if you don't moderate and control it.
So learn that just playing an MMO does not mean you must spend countless hours playing it, take control of your life with it and no longer feel that you cant control yourself in that aspect and punch life in the face knowing that you can overcome your weaknesses and nothing will stop you from achieving what you want in life.
Learn now, while you are still young. MMOs are an easy thing to conqueror if you actually want to and it will boost your confidence on top of it. Also, learn to look at your mistake as what you needed at that point in your life and now you want more, and you WILL get it.
I'll definitely have to look into an internship. I hadn't even gotten to the point yet where these things crossed my mind. I'm glad you mentioned them, or I may have missed out.
Ya just need to find the balance, but never put real like investment on hold or on the back burner for a computer game that will eventually come to a end, so always invest in yaself first, college/trade skills etc are by far more valuable.
Theres no reason why you cant play any mmo or game while at Uni, some people just dont know moderation. But mmos are just another form of entertainment, dont matter if you getting on the piss with ya mates at the pub or playing sports or computer games, just depends on if its worth the time.
I work 60 hours a week, go gym & play sports & play computer games currenty rome 2 & assassins creed IV, I just make the most of my time. It would become a problem if you taking days off work or study to play the game though.
Then you are already winning the battle. Now land the final blow and remove all doubt.
An MMO can be like any other game, played for short periods when YOU want entertainment. When you find yourself falling into playing longer and longer be sure to have a list nearby of why you don't NEED to do it.
The gear is not worth it.
Doing that instance yet again, for the 1000th time is not worth it.
getting that PvP rank is not worth it.
Having some fun with a game and then having fun in real life while being able to pay your bills, that is worth it.
"True friends stab you in the front." | Oscar Wilde
"I need to finish" - Christian Wolff: The Accountant
Just trying to live long enough to play a new, released MMORPG, playing New Worlds atm
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Pvbs 18:2, NIV
Don't just play games, inhabit virtual worlds™
"This is the most intelligent, well qualified and articulate response to a post I have ever seen on these forums. It's a shame most people here won't have the attention span to read past the second line." - Anon
I've already experienced that to some degree at my job. I admit, I was hoping to make some friends when I originally got the job.
One person I met, who was around my age, wanted to go hang out after work, but then I find out all he wanted to do was go get drunk. I told him I didn't care if he drank, but just explained that I don't drink or do drugs etc, and after that he never brought up hanging out again. I'll admit, that's one of the reasons I want to go back to MMO's. Everyone at my job just seems interested in getting drunk or high all the time. Heck, just today that same guy called me "The sweetest" guy he's ever known, and I don't think he meant it as a compliment. And my boss calls me the "Alter boy". I definitely haven't really fit in with anyone at my work so far, which, again, is why I was tempted to go back to MMO's. I miss talking with people I actually had something in common with. Social life on the outside has been a bit of a disappointment so far, but there's certainly plenty of other great things/people out there. I'm not going to let this one bad experience ruin it. That's why I'm trying to do what you recommend: Set goals and have a plan and don't let anything get in the way of those.
And again, I appreciate all the helpful advice guys. I was never expecting to get so many honest and helpful answers.
OP you shouldn't be even debating or contemplating this.
Life > games. And when i say life i mean your future. You are 25 years old and this is the time to get on your feet. Trust me you will have plenty of time later on in your life to play MMOS once you are well settled in your career.
This is the time to struggle so do that and good luck.
I would suggest that you pursue a higher education. There will be time for all kinds of games and hobbies later on once you've managed to make something of yourself.
I see you debating College as a choice and I think it's an excellent one if you are so inclined. I would however like to ask you if you think that perhaps you might be handy? Do you like to perhaps work with your hands or find it easier to focus in a more mechanically inclined atmosphere?
The reason I ask this is that along with College there is also an option of becoming a Trades Person. If you don't think that college might not be for you then consider finding an Apprenticeship in a Trade of some kind. I went down that road and eventually became an Electrician but there are many other trades available for you to choose. I started my apprenticeship around your age and now that I'm finished, life is starting to get a little easier.
Just another thing for you to consider. Once you finish some kind of school and find a job related to your field you'll start to find that there will be time for games and for a social life down the road.
No required quests! And if I decide I want to be an assassin-cartographer-dancer-pastry chef who lives only to stalk and kill interior decorators, then that's who I want to be, even if it takes me four years to max all the skills and everyone else thinks I'm freaking nuts. -Madimorga-
Topic near and dear to my heart. So I'll give a quick reply.
I to went through this conflict, but it lasted years for me. The problem is I was even considering MMOs as being on level with something like pursuing higher education, and they shouldn't be. MMOs and gaming in general should be an afterthought to real things in the real world, at least that's the conclusion that worked for me.
During my youth all I cared about was gaming. I would happily ignore school, friends, sports, and other things if it meant a chance to spend a few more hours in my favorite MMO. I was clearly caught in the hamster wheel, I was running in place, putting lots of time and effort into MMOs, but not really doing anything with my life.
It took a bit of a breakdown for me to finally turn things around. For me to go back to college and decide I wanted to make more then 10 dollars an hour for the rest of my life. The decision hasn't been without it's consequences as real life is way harder then any video game I ever buried myself in. Yet I've found ways to rise above the challenges and keep moving forward, I've failed a lot, but I've always picked myself back up to.
I have my four year degree now, and a comfy job that pays me insanely well considering the work I do isn't that hard, or at least not as physically demanding as what I used to do. I do often find myself in the situation of having lots of spare money, but no free time to use it in, but I think overall I am quite happy with what I have accomplished. I may not have the free time for a MMO more then a few hours a week, but I've had so many more life experiences that it's been worth it.
I had to cut down on my time with MMOs because I wasn't getting my novel done. A 600 page novel doesn't write itself. MMOs and games for that matter, help inspire my writing, but it got to the point where I existed more in other fantasy words than my own.
Creating your own world, your own character and getting to do whatever you want, sure is fun to conceptualize. But putting all together is a grinding, horrible chore, and it sucks. The reward is worth it.
However all I did was scale the amount of time back, I invested in MMOs. I didn't feel I needed to quit all together, unless of course a game wasn't fun anymore. I will always make time for games over anything, that's reasonable and mentally healthy. Maybe because they help me with my art. Maybe it's because it's a nice vacation spending time in other worlds and see how they put it together. Or maybe I just feel life is too short, to give up something I really enjoy.
Success is worth more than any game, but that doesn't mean you should have to give them up, to get it. To me it sounds like you are the type of MMO player, that has a hard time pacing yourself, and sprinkling a hour in once in awhile, or maybe a bit more. Also I feel like you were like the old me in MMOs, dumped hours and hours, into a game, because I always felt, I had to get the extra gear, do that extra raid, hang out with friends, ect. Just a guess, not a assumption.
I don't think you should give up MMOs, there are plenty of people, who go to college, are successful and extremely busy and do just fine playing them. However, if you are the type of person, like I guessed above, who can't limit your time down to a few hours a week, and a two hour session turns into a 10 hour session and suddenly nothing is getting done. You should probably quit, and find a different genre, maybe a single player RPG.
You could be like my friend who quit them all together, because he didn't feel like spending a couple of hours in a MMO a week, was rewarding enough. Compared to his previous unmarried self at 20 hours a week in game, with a full time job. So he just switched genres, and has a primary single player focus.
Also keep in mind college doesn't mean success. Even if you do everything perfect and get a degree. Now, this doesn't mean I am telling you to be a uneducated slob who plays video games all day. However, all the friends and family I have in my life, all have degrees mostly. Guess what? None of them are working jobs based on what they went to school for. Most are paying off their school loans, and some of them work jobs that could have got without going to school. The one friend I have who just has a GED, is making 55 dollars a hour through a mine driving truck, and all he had to do is get his CDL. He makes more than any of the college grads.
There are examples, of the direct opposite, but in any case, some luck is involved.
"What tastes like purple?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x7mTmDuAF4
You can't leave with this dropping, sorry no you can't!
Any mmo worth its salt should be like a good prostitute when it comes to its game world- One hell of a faker, and a damn good shaker!
As you probably see, you don't really want to fit in with the people you work with. You don't want to be a loser whose goal is to get drunk and/or high as much as possible. You want something better. And good for you.
Before going back to college, I'd recommend dabbling in whatever you want to major in. Teach yourself the material from one of the introductory courses--both to see if you can and to see if you like it. There are lots of free resources available online, and even if you have to buy a textbook, that's vastly cheaper than college tuition. Interests and aptitudes matter greatly, both for a college major and for a career. If you can't handle the material or you hate it, it's better to find that out now than to accumulate tens of thousands of dollars in debt first.
If you're going to go to college, you also want to make sure that you get a worthwhile degree. Anything in the STEM disciplines (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) is probably going to be valuable, even if it's from Directional State University that accepts 99% of applicants--which is probably going to be the best available to a 25-year-old with a GED. There are worthwhile majors outside of that, but also a lot of useless ones. Before majoring in something, make sure that it realistically leads to a career that you're interested in. If 10,000 people graduate with some major each year and there are only jobs related to it for 1,000 of them, those jobs probably get taken by the people from elite universities--and not by you.
Illius brings up another possibility: going to a trade school. That's a better option than college for a lot of people who aren't academically inclined, and it can lead to a good job.
-----
You do need to have something in life that you enjoy, and not just work all the time. It can be computer games or it can be something else, but it has to be something. If you try to just work all the time, you'll burn out. The key is that what you do for fun has to fit around your career, and not the other way around.
Hey bud, you have heard it before, but you have to have your priorities straight.
For the saved - God will be first,
Then yourself, your family, your career, your friends, ...... It's your life. Keep them in line, it makes things a lot easier when you know what you should be doing next.
You can balance it all out, it takes self discipline, but it can be done, access yourself, if you don't think you can balance it all, only keep the things you can't do without.
Pro tip - keep things simple.
Go to college. In a choice between X and "Go to college", unless X is "winning the lottery and being independantly weathy", go to college. Even if you win the lottery, go to college so you don't waste all your money on fantastically stupid things. It will increase your odds (not a guarantee) of getting a much better job, and you will meet at least a few like minded people.
**
Concerning impulse control, the best advice I can give is to not be around the things that drive you off track. If it's alcohol, just don't buy it and don't go to bars or always be the designated driver. If it's MMOs, just don't play them. Easier said than done, I know (from experience), but just not being around the triggers and the people that bring the triggers is the most successful way to get past something like that.
I can not remember winning or losing a single debate on the internet.
Sacrificing college and friends for an MMO? I'd say no, MMO's are definitely not worth the sacrifice.
I'd be like you if i hadn't graduated college by 2000 before the big MMO's hit. Thank god I did not have a gaming system from high school through college or I think my life would be fucked right now.
Of course if you do get through college and settle down, then you'll have to choose between your MMO life and having children.
Choosing how to spend your time will always be a bitch.