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Aussie Etiquitte

RazorbackRazorback Member, Newbie CommonPosts: 5,253
in Off-Topic Discussion

Glossary :

  • Stubby = 600ml bottle of beer
  • Esky = Box to keep beer cold
  • Paddock = farm field
  • Ute = SUV or tray back
  • Dunny = toilet
  • Roo = Kangaroo

AUSTRALIAN ETIQUETTE

IN GENERAL

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.

3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.


DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.


ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.


PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.

2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.

3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.

4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.


DATING

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.

2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will
say 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.


THEATRE ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.

2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.


WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of
place)

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.


DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.

2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

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"MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
http://purepwnage.com
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"Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon

Comments

  • SiphonsSiphons Member Posts: 445

    I always enjoy being immersed in aussie culture, Thanks. ::::20::

    ---------------------------------------
    All you friggin suburban white kid wannabe poobutts that are in love with G-Unit are sad and pathetic. Find your own identity ::::28:: -Anarchyart

  • VampirVampir Member Posts: 4,239

    ...... i shower three times a day and the thought of using deodorant to delay bathing is disguisting to me.

    and my girlfriends parents know my beliefs and trust me entirely so i dont have to worry aobut time home crap.

    and i wouldnt kiss a bride at a wedding no matter what....

    i think i exceed or meet all of those.

    but funny read.

    image

    98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.

  • VampirVampir Member Posts: 4,239

    damn double post

    image

    98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you''re one of the 2% who hasn''t, copy & paste this in your signature.

  • PhoenixsPhoenixs Member Posts: 2,646

    Kind of sounds like a description of my Aussie uncle ::::20::

  • WakizashiWakizashi Member Posts: 893

    AUSSIE!  AUSSIE!  AUSSIE!

     

     

     

    OY!  OY! OY!

  • lunamonsterlunamonster Member Posts: 325

    All true it's all true ::::02::.

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  • Unknown

    Talk about a small world. If you remove the Aussie slang and kangaroo references, all of those can apply right here in Florida! We also have sharks, nice beaches, and water-based reptiles that can kill a human being. This is great! You guys should capitalize on the similarities in your beer ads.

  • FlemFlem Member UncommonPosts: 2,870

    Where else but here in Australia would you find a Ute parked on the roof of a pub. Man i was drunk that night now i cant yet my Ute down from there :)

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  • RazorbackRazorback Member, Newbie CommonPosts: 5,253
    image

    +-+-+-+-+-+
    "MMOs, for people that like think chatting is like a skill or something, rotflol"
    http://purepwnage.com
    image
    -+-+-+-+-+-+
    "Far away across the field, the tolling of the iron bell, calls the faithful to their knees. To hear the softly spoken magic spell" Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon

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