boys play female characters because they love when they can control a female character even if it is fantasy one and not only woman but also man should hide their identities . internet is a dangerous place . i remember my sister credit card getting hacked on facebook because she bought facebook credits and someone used her credit card for 500 us dollars
When was the last time you actually knew the true gender of the players around you in an MMO or on these forums?
Time after time I've found Male characters being played by Woman, and Female characters being played by Men. Most of the time it almost feels like an odd adventure into the Land of Oz at the ratio of Men to Woman in the Online spectrum.
However, what I've found most peculiar is the need for any female in general to have to hide themselves from immature males in this online environment that we call the Internet. Why do you, oh females of the Net, find the need to hide yourselves from the world around you? Are the current tools at your disposal such as ignore, block, report, kick, not powerful enough to help you?
Is it simply a way to cloak yourself in true anonymity & hide from those awkward situations with cave dwellers that have barely interacted with females IRL, or do you have more seclusive reasons? Perhaps you simply don't wish to hurt the feelings of those around you by standing up for yourself, or is it quite simply just easier to hide amongst the crowd thereby dodging any situation that might render you feeling vulnerable?
As a man playing online for many years I've always felt bad that woman as a whole have to hide their gender simply in fear of being stalked/harassed/judged simply because they're female & they happen to like the internet as much as I do. I simply don't understand why the environment is so acceptable by both parties to allow this kind of crap to continue.
I'm making this thread primarily because of a conversation I had this weekend with my sisters & female guild members on the subject, and how they constantly find the need to play Male characters & never actually get to express themselves in fear of the aforementioned issues, and previous guilds (or current ones my sisters are in for other games) that openly allow this sort of harassment simply because said members may not know better.
I'd like to challenge any Guild/Clan/Group that currently exist to openly discourage such behavior even if said members "don't know any better". Specifically, my younger sister currently plays WoW & has to deal with a mentally handicapped member who sticks to her like glue constantly, and gets physically upset on the guild ventrilo (thereby completely embarassing her) when she's not playing with said member. Seriously, I'm all for treating handicapped people with a little less restrictiveness, but that would anger me to the point of yelling should it ever occur in my current guild. If she had hidden her identity as a female it could have all been avoided, however she would have lost out of the ability to truly express herself for who she is thereby demeaning her experience as a whole....and that's the ENTIRE problem!
Am I simply rambling here because I'm a little loopy from Monday-Morning Work, or is anyone else feeling the same way :I?
TLDR;
I'm pissed off because the current paradigm is that it's ok for Woman to have to hide their identity while playing online simply because the need is there. Why the hell is it acceptable to allow situations that force this kind of preasure thereby spawning the need to begin with? I don't think it's ever ok for a situation to arrise that warrants being forced to hide who & what you are simply because others are ok with said situations happening. Isn't there a way to change this mentality?
ps: I've been around for awhile so I very well know that it's been this way for some time, but in my book that doesn't make it right seeing as how it's 2012 already!
This website shows great examples of why female gamers hide their genders online : http://fatuglyorslutty.com/ (No need to be warry of the name, that name was based on common insults female gamers have received while playing online. Else you can always goggle it just in case).
Still, these ignore or report tools are not enough. All it's doing is put a blanket over the underlying issue, but the problems are still there. It's up to gaming communities as well as game developers to step up and state that such behavior will not be tolerated. Few have done so yet, which is a shame. Female gamers shouldn't be the only ones trying to raise awareness, we, male gamers, need to also take part in raising awareness and taking actions (within our power) to prevent such actions. After all, all this bullshit *is* coming from our side.
Originally posted by MadnessRealm Still, these ignore or report tools are not enough. All it's doing is put a blanket over the underlying issue, but the problems are still there. It's up to gaming communities as well as game developers to step up and state that such behavior will not be tolerated. Few have done so yet, which is a shame. Female gamers shouldn't be the only ones trying to raise awareness, we, male gamers, need to also take part in raising awareness and taking actions (within our power) to prevent such actions. After all, all this bullshit *is* coming from our side.
+1
Raising awareness in our respective communities is definitely the way to go. Can't control all the rogues, but we can foster safe/respectful environments and attempt to elevate the standard of civility.
After being stalked/harassed by a gamer in RL and forced to leave that game and take legal action aginst him. I play under my husband's or father's acount name and never use vent to talk to other gamers.
Do not get me wrong, I have made some great frinds in games over the years. But the pain caused by a few have left a very bad felling about revealing my gender to other players.
I did an experiment a few years back in a game with my first female character. I decided I would role play the character as if I was a female to find out if there were real differences in how I was treated.
I think it was in Cabal, but it was long enough that my memory of the event is a bit hazy. What I do know for sure is that once people thought that I was a female the chat certainly changed. People would talk to me more often and I did get more free stuff from people trying to help me. I did not work that angle as a scam and eventually left that character to die quietly in the character selection page but a few valuable lessons were learned.
I have also had some terrible experiences with some female characters and people. There are two that I know of, we shared a guild vent service, that were extremely volatile individuals. Both were dramatic people with tempers and language designed to shock. One of them was permanently muted by me, the other just ignored for a while until things cooled down. To this day I have no idea what caused the eruptions but I suspect that they both had similar real life social issues and that the internet is the place they go to in order to interact with people. I have had some heated arguments and debates with both men and women over the years online, but only these two females were irrational beyond reasonable and therefore not worth conversing with.
On a lighter note I have also played with many other women that are equal to or better than their male counter parts as far as gaming and socializing goes. If anything, I find women more patient when explaining things to people with fewer noob jokes and whatnot. I also have been in a guild with a couple of openly gay and lesbian individuals and none of the stereotypes applied to these people either.
Truth be told. Some people role play. Some people are insecure online or not, and some people are just awful, imbalanced, and potentially mentally ill people. Stereotypes do not apply to all.
Originally posted by Acornia After being stalked/harassed by a gamer in RL and forced to leave that game and take legal action aginst him. I play under my husband's or father's acount name and never use vent to talk to other gamers.Do not get me wrong, I have made some great frinds in games over the years. But the pain caused by a few have left a very bad felling about revealing my gender to other players.
Interesting feelings towards that and I am sorry about your issues, but I think you are going about it the wrong way.
Originally posted by Acornia After being stalked/harassed by a gamer in RL and forced to leave that game and take legal action aginst him. I play under my husband's or father's acount name and never use vent to talk to other gamers.Do not get me wrong, I have made some great frinds in games over the years. But the pain caused by a few have left a very bad felling about revealing my gender to other players.
Completely understandable given the circumstances.
After being stalked/harassed by a gamer in RL and forced to leave that game and take legal action aginst him. I play under my husband's or father's acount name and never use vent to talk to other gamers.
Do not get me wrong, I have made some great frinds in games over the years. But the pain caused by a few have left a very bad felling about revealing my gender to other players.
Okay first off ....that suks hardcore...now I am not putting this on you but how did this guy stalk you ? Did you give him a email,phone number,fb, etc.....If he was becoming that much of a problem in game should of reported him to the company of which the game is managed.....
I have Know Idea how someone would eb able to stalk you without you first giving out personal info....did he hack the game to get your personal info and rl name .....You would of had to have some kind of relationship with this man in rl.......
Heres how you do it Don't give out any personal information and you won't have these problems .....
I only say this because you are playing a victim here when Infact I think theres some info your not giving us in the whole.....
THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE THIS MAN BEHAVIOR IN ANY WAY AND I AM SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU ......but I don't see how this man could stalk you in anyway without you giving him some info that you should of not given him. Someone ask whats your rl name is you say amy if your name is shelia if they ask for a email address give them www.amy6@gmail is that a rl address no. Put them on ignore in game and report them to the game. Never give out shat to anyone you don't know remb stranger danger.....
I never understood the NEED for knowing what gender the other player is. I play in mature guilds where anyone can be themselves. But I never asked anyone if they were M or F.
It's all about the personality anyway. After all I'm gaming, not dating
Originally posted by Acornia After being stalked/harassed by a gamer in RL and forced to leave that game and take legal action aginst him. I play under my husband's or father's acount name and never use vent to talk to other gamers.
Do not get me wrong, I have made some great frinds in games over the years. But the pain caused by a few have left a very bad felling about revealing my gender to other players.
Completely understandable given the circumstances.
Ive only met a few women that hid it and I was amazed by how well they did it. Played with them for years and never had a clue. One time years ago I was playing a FPS think it was Rouge Spear RavenSheild. And this guy kept tea bagging me every chance he could, I thought that was weird, turns out it was a girl. I didnt think women liked FPS just one more stereotype Ive had to loose over the years.
I can not give you all the details about what happened in the RL stalking because it happened way back in time of The Realm and SWG during the start of Desert Storm and I was working for the DoD. It happen part in game and RL when game info, such as real name and address, was posted to the internet by accident or hacking of the game.
I can not tell you how he showed up and got on base, but ended up having to call the APs to kick him off base and turn him over to local cops.
Since then an advice of the base JAG, I have taken great pains when using the internet to do my work or play games.
For this to change, everyone of us would have to take responsibility, not only for our actions, but also for our inactions. Of course that can be hard work.
When you see someone throwing out harassing statements, slurs, you would have to challenge them. When they claim it was all in good fun, you'd have to explain to them that this isn't really funny for the affected person. When they claim you are just too sensitive, you would have to explain that in fact they are too insensitive.
You may or may not get backup from your guild mates, which is also dependent on who's on at that time. You may even find yourself in the minority if you are arguing against someone and their friends are on and providing backup against you.
You could even make it - right at that time - worse for the target of the slur by prolonging the debate and bringing more attention to it. Maybe the target of the remark has developed a thick skin and isn't bothered by it, and might even take offense at you butting in.
Maybe you have been the target of slurs and attacks yourself and just are glad it isn't you this time.
It gets even more complicated if the behavior isn't overtly hostile or intended that way, like the case the OP brings up. (Assuming he wasn't using "mentally handicapped" just as an attack himself) Would you make the effort of trying to explain to a mentally handicapped person that their behavior is inappropriate?
I have let sexist and homophobic slurs slide, telling myself, it's all in good fun, everybody knows it's just a friendly tease, it's just a one-off remark, it wasn't directed at me, no one is speaking up, so no one is taking offense, I'm not gonna make any waves over one off-color remark, I don't want to argue against that guy and all his buddies, it's their guild after all.
I guess I'm not always a good person when I could be.
I legitimately meant a "HandiCapped" individual whos physical age is 19 but has a mental maturity of about 9. Again, not his fault, but it is the fault of those surrounding him to allow his behavior to go unchecked. Just because someone is mentally handicapped doesn't mean they're completely inept and learning from their actions, and if they are completely incapable of learning from their actions they shouldn't be in said guild to begin with.
Just my 2cents
I think it is typical for a 13-16 year old boy that just discovered he is interested in women and falls in love with every girl or woman that talks to him for more than 10 seconds. And believes they must be intersted in him.
A 19 YO behaving like that is a bit childish for his age. But perhaps because he is very unlucky trying to find a gf in real life. And, in that case, he might think about that every day. Perhaps most women ignore him. And if someone actually is nice to him he believes she is the love of his life...But often they will grow up and start to behave like adults eventually. Calling someone like that "handicapped" could be a bit to much, IMO.
In a game with a lot of players that are 12-19 YO boys it is not easy to avoid them. Perhaps it is normal?
I pretend to play a female toon and use a voice morpher for skype/ventrilo. It is funny how easy it is to find a picture online and put it in a "IRL photo guild thread". The amount of free shit and free pass i get to pretty much all raid spots/gear is hilarious.
And you may think that I am a low life, but I am giving you nerds a perceived fantasy and benefitting from it at the same time; win-win situation.
Originally posted by Rimoku I pretend to play a female toon and use a voice morpher for skype/ventrilo. It is funny how easy it is to find a picture online and put it in a "IRL photo guild thread". The amount of free shit and free pass i get to pretty much all raid spots/gear is hilarious. And you may think that I am a low life, but I am giving you nerds a perceived fantasy and benefitting from it at the same time; win-win situation.
No you're not giving us a perceived fantasy, rather; you are giving yourself a fantasy you are to cowardly to do in real life, fact.
I pretend to play a female toon and use a voice morpher for skype/ventrilo. It is funny how easy it is to find a picture online and put it in a "IRL photo guild thread". The amount of free shit and free pass i get to pretty much all raid spots/gear is hilarious.
And you may think that I am a low life, but I am giving you nerds a perceived fantasy and benefitting from it at the same time; win-win situation.
Dude, you need help. Psychiatric help. From a professional.
OT: I can completely understand why female gamers feel they need to hide their gender online. The amount of idiotic A/S/L messages I have seen in general chat whenever anyone with a female name dares talk in general chat is sickening. I have known female guild members that have been actively stalked(in game) by people after revealing their gender. I imagine most of the problem is oversexed 12 year old boys that dont know how to talk to girls, but that still doesnt excuse it.
Cluck Cluck, Gibber Gibber, My Old Mans A Mushroom
Originally posted by Rimoku I pretend to play a female toon and use a voice morpher for skype/ventrilo. It is funny how easy it is to find a picture online and put it in a "IRL photo guild thread". The amount of free shit and free pass i get to pretty much all raid spots/gear is hilarious.
And you may think that I am a low life, but I am giving you nerds a perceived fantasy and benefitting from it at the same time; win-win situation.
No you're not giving us a perceived fantasy, rather; you are giving yourself a fantasy you are to cowardly to do in real life, fact.
Say what you want good sir, but the fact that I get favourable treatment pretending to be girl that I otherwise would not have infers certain things.
Originally posted by Acornia I can not give you all the details about what happened in the RL stalking because it happened way back in time of The Realm and SWG during the start of Desert Storm and I was working for the DoD. It happen part in game and RL when game info, such as real name and address, was posted to the internet by accident or hacking of the game.I can not tell you how he showed up and got on base, but ended up having to call the APs to kick him off base and turn him over to local cops.Since then an advice of the base JAG, I have taken great pains when using the internet to do my work or play games.
You do not need to defend your situation here. Resourceful people can find ways to get information through strange methods in some cases but certainly not all cases. I find it funny that people around here talk all the time about the importance of gaming security, authenticators, up to date security software, and other safety measures and yet dismiss the possibility of a game and real life stalker as improbable.
There are plenty of game sites that require users to fill out user information fields that give players a chance to see those details. I filled out some information a few years ago thinking that the details would be kept hidden and found out later that I could log in and look up every subscribed account member. The whole site allows their users to view whatever those people placed in their information including name, location, Country, age, along with instant message contact information if the user so desired.
I learned to be far more cautious while signing up for games due to this instance, however I do not fear stalkers all that much. I also can't control the gaming sites security, if they get hacked my information will be out there. Sony was the biggest one that comes to mind. My account was one of the known hacked accounts, no matter how careful I was about not giving out my details, they were still compromised.
Originally posted by Hurvart Originally posted by FadedbombOriginally posted by ButeoRegalisOriginally posted by FadedbombIsn't there a way to change this mentality?
For this to change, everyone of us would have to take responsibility, not only for our actions, but also for our inactions. Of course that can be hard work.When you see someone throwing out harassing statements, slurs, you would have to challenge them. When they claim it was all in good fun, you'd have to explain to them that this isn't really funny for the affected person. When they claim you are just too sensitive, you would have to explain that in fact they are too insensitive.You may or may not get backup from your guild mates, which is also dependent on who's on at that time. You may even find yourself in the minority if you are arguing against someone and their friends are on and providing backup against you.You could even make it - right at that time - worse for the target of the slur by prolonging the debate and bringing more attention to it. Maybe the target of the remark has developed a thick skin and isn't bothered by it, and might even take offense at you butting in.Maybe you have been the target of slurs and attacks yourself and just are glad it isn't you this time. It gets even more complicated if the behavior isn't overtly hostile or intended that way, like the case the OP brings up. (Assuming he wasn't using "mentally handicapped" just as an attack himself) Would you make the effort of trying to explain to a mentally handicapped person that their behavior is inappropriate? I have let sexist and homophobic slurs slide, telling myself, it's all in good fun, everybody knows it's just a friendly tease, it's just a one-off remark, it wasn't directed at me, no one is speaking up, so no one is taking offense, I'm not gonna make any waves over one off-color remark, I don't want to argue against that guy and all his buddies, it's their guild after all.I guess I'm not always a good person when I could be.I legitimately meant a "HandiCapped" individual whos physical age is 19 but has a mental maturity of about 9. Again, not his fault, but it is the fault of those surrounding him to allow his behavior to go unchecked. Just because someone is mentally handicapped doesn't mean they're completely inept and learning from their actions, and if they are completely incapable of learning from their actions they shouldn't be in said guild to begin with. Just my 2cents I think it is typical for a 13-16 year old boy that just discovered he is interested in women and falls in love with every girl or woman that talks to him for more than 10 seconds. And believes they must be intersted in him.
A 19 YO behaving like that is a bit childish for his age. But perhaps because he is very unlucky trying to find a gf in real life. And, in that case, he might think about that every day. Perhaps most women ignore him. And if someone actually is nice to him he believes she is the love of his life...But often they will grow up and start to behave like adults eventually. Calling someone like that "handicapped" could be a bit to much, IMO.
In a game with a lot of players that are 12-19 YO boys it is not easy to avoid them. Perhaps it is normal?
Age is not the best factor to consider here. I know plenty of people 30+ that still act very immature while on the internet, in vent, or in game. Without any serious repercussions relating to their behaviors, age does automatically exclude anyone.
Originally posted by FadedbombIsn't there a way to change this mentality?
For this to change, everyone of us would have to take responsibility, not only for our actions, but also for our inactions. Of course that can be hard work.When you see someone throwing out harassing statements, slurs, you would have to challenge them. When they claim it was all in good fun, you'd have to explain to them that this isn't really funny for the affected person. When they claim you are just too sensitive, you would have to explain that in fact they are too insensitive.You may or may not get backup from your guild mates, which is also dependent on who's on at that time. You may even find yourself in the minority if you are arguing against someone and their friends are on and providing backup against you.You could even make it - right at that time - worse for the target of the slur by prolonging the debate and bringing more attention to it. Maybe the target of the remark has developed a thick skin and isn't bothered by it, and might even take offense at you butting in.Maybe you have been the target of slurs and attacks yourself and just are glad it isn't you this time. It gets even more complicated if the behavior isn't overtly hostile or intended that way, like the case the OP brings up. (Assuming he wasn't using "mentally handicapped" just as an attack himself) Would you make the effort of trying to explain to a mentally handicapped person that their behavior is inappropriate? I have let sexist and homophobic slurs slide, telling myself, it's all in good fun, everybody knows it's just a friendly tease, it's just a one-off remark, it wasn't directed at me, no one is speaking up, so no one is taking offense, I'm not gonna make any waves over one off-color remark, I don't want to argue against that guy and all his buddies, it's their guild after all.I guess I'm not always a good person when I could be.
I legitimately meant a "HandiCapped" individual whos physical age is 19 but has a mental maturity of about 9. Again, not his fault, but it is the fault of those surrounding him to allow his behavior to go unchecked. Just because someone is mentally handicapped doesn't mean they're completely inept and learning from their actions, and if they are completely incapable of learning from their actions they shouldn't be in said guild to begin with. Just my 2cents
I think it is typical for a 13-16 year old boy that just discovered he is interested in women and falls in love with every girl or woman that talks to him for more than 10 seconds. And believes they must be intersted in him.
A 19 YO behaving like that is a bit childish for his age. But perhaps because he is very unlucky trying to find a gf in real life. And, in that case, he might think about that every day. Perhaps most women ignore him. And if someone actually is nice to him he believes she is the love of his life...But often they will grow up and start to behave like adults eventually. Calling someone like that "handicapped" could be a bit to much, IMO.
In a game with a lot of players that are 12-19 YO boys it is not easy to avoid them. Perhaps it is normal?
Age is not the best factor to consider here. I know plenty of people 30+ that still act very immature while on the internet, in vent, or in game. Without any serious repercussions relating to their behaviors, age does automatically exclude anyone.
Ttere can be exeptions. But if someone behaves like a 13 YO boy he probably is. If it really is a 13 YO he only needs to grow up. If he is 30 he needs professional help.
If the game is intended for 12 YO and up I think it makes sense to belive it is a young boy. Unless there is a specific reason to believe it could be a 30 YO with personality problems. Because they are not the norm...
I pretend to play a female toon and use a voice morpher for skype/ventrilo. It is funny how easy it is to find a picture online and put it in a "IRL photo guild thread". The amount of free shit and free pass i get to pretty much all raid spots/gear is hilarious.
And you may think that I am a low life, but I am giving you nerds a perceived fantasy and benefitting from it at the same time; win-win situation.
lol. Kudos to you man. You should document your shenanigans and let us have a laugh every now and then.
Part of the problem is, men can be as degrading to you as they want, but women cannot really degrade men, on the internet at least. Maybe I'm wrong, but ive never seen it. Anything you could say to a man could easily be turned around as some sort of sexual sugestive remark.
One of the only ways to fight this is developers giving the greater player community tools to silence trolls, dont really see that happening since they pay their monies too.
Originally posted by Hurvart Originally posted by chefdiabloOriginally posted by HurvartOriginally posted by FadedbombOriginally posted by ButeoRegalisOriginally posted by FadedbombIsn't there a way to change this mentality?
For this to change, everyone of us would have to take responsibility, not only for our actions, but also for our inactions. Of course that can be hard work.When you see someone throwing out harassing statements, slurs, you would have to challenge them. When they claim it was all in good fun, you'd have to explain to them that this isn't really funny for the affected person. When they claim you are just too sensitive, you would have to explain that in fact they are too insensitive.You may or may not get backup from your guild mates, which is also dependent on who's on at that time. You may even find yourself in the minority if you are arguing against someone and their friends are on and providing backup against you.You could even make it - right at that time - worse for the target of the slur by prolonging the debate and bringing more attention to it. Maybe the target of the remark has developed a thick skin and isn't bothered by it, and might even take offense at you butting in.Maybe you have been the target of slurs and attacks yourself and just are glad it isn't you this time. It gets even more complicated if the behavior isn't overtly hostile or intended that way, like the case the OP brings up. (Assuming he wasn't using "mentally handicapped" just as an attack himself) Would you make the effort of trying to explain to a mentally handicapped person that their behavior is inappropriate? I have let sexist and homophobic slurs slide, telling myself, it's all in good fun, everybody knows it's just a friendly tease, it's just a one-off remark, it wasn't directed at me, no one is speaking up, so no one is taking offense, I'm not gonna make any waves over one off-color remark, I don't want to argue against that guy and all his buddies, it's their guild after all.I guess I'm not always a good person when I could be.I legitimately meant a "HandiCapped" individual whos physical age is 19 but has a mental maturity of about 9. Again, not his fault, but it is the fault of those surrounding him to allow his behavior to go unchecked. Just because someone is mentally handicapped doesn't mean they're completely inept and learning from their actions, and if they are completely incapable of learning from their actions they shouldn't be in said guild to begin with. Just my 2cents I think it is typical for a 13-16 year old boy that just discovered he is interested in women and falls in love with every girl or woman that talks to him for more than 10 seconds. And believes they must be intersted in him.A 19 YO behaving like that is a bit childish for his age. But perhaps because he is very unlucky trying to find a gf in real life. And, in that case, he might think about that every day. Perhaps most women ignore him. And if someone actually is nice to him he believes she is the love of his life...But often they will grow up and start to behave like adults eventually. Calling someone like that "handicapped" could be a bit to much, IMO.In a game with a lot of players that are 12-19 YO boys it is not easy to avoid them. Perhaps it is normal?Age is not the best factor to consider here. I know plenty of people 30+ that still act very immature while on the internet, in vent, or in game. Without any serious repercussions relating to their behaviors, age does automatically exclude anyone.Ttere can be exeptions. But if someone behaves like a 13 YO boy he probably is. If it really is a 13 YO he only needs to grow up. If he is 30 he needs professional help.
If the game is intended for 12 YO and up I think it makes sense to belive it is a young boy. Unless there is a specific reason to believe it could be a 30 YO with personality problems. Because they are not the norm...
All I can say it that you should not assume that the behavior indicates the age. This kind of assumption that is at the root of the discussion here; that a character gender does not prove the person on the other end is the same and in some cases might be pretending otherwise for security purposes and or nefarious reasons.
Most gamers are older rather than younger. There are plenty of studies to prove that. Fewer 25 to 35 year old players would play Pokemon, or Hello Kitty I imagine, but then we are not discussing specific games. When you log into your average adult oriented MMO, meaning one that is geared for 18 years old or more, I wager we can assume most of the population are that age. In the subscription genre alone, some form of payment is required and I gather that at least some parents are paying attention to what their kids a playing online.
Interesting topic OP. I'll admit when I was younger and new to the online gaming scene, I tended to treat female characters differently. The first time I created a character in an online game, I immediately created a male character. I thought I was supposed to. My best friend at the time also felt that way. If you're a dude IRL, then you play a male character.
As a result, I viewed any female character as a woman IRL. Eventually, I learned that most of those female characters were controlled by dudes. This ultimately caused me to distrust the gender of any character in an online game. It also helped me recognize my good and bad behavior toward other players, regardless of their gender. Since it's impossible to know 100% who is controlling the avatar, it's better to just treat everyone the same.
I think the illusion of anonymity encourages immature behavior for those who are new to online gaming. Eventually, we all learn the correct way to act toward others.
Most people treat me no different then anybody else, but I like my small guild, so I don't meet a ton of people either. I don't think I'm hiding though, I just don't advertise.
Comments
boys play female characters because they love when they can control a female character even if it is fantasy one and not only woman but also man should hide their identities . internet is a dangerous place . i remember my sister credit card getting hacked on facebook because she bought facebook credits and someone used her credit card for 500 us dollars
This website shows great examples of why female gamers hide their genders online : http://fatuglyorslutty.com/ (No need to be warry of the name, that name was based on common insults female gamers have received while playing online. Else you can always goggle it just in case).
Still, these ignore or report tools are not enough. All it's doing is put a blanket over the underlying issue, but the problems are still there. It's up to gaming communities as well as game developers to step up and state that such behavior will not be tolerated. Few have done so yet, which is a shame. Female gamers shouldn't be the only ones trying to raise awareness, we, male gamers, need to also take part in raising awareness and taking actions (within our power) to prevent such actions. After all, all this bullshit *is* coming from our side.
+1
Raising awareness in our respective communities is definitely the way to go. Can't control all the rogues, but we can foster safe/respectful environments and attempt to elevate the standard of civility.
After being stalked/harassed by a gamer in RL and forced to leave that game and take legal action aginst him. I play under my husband's or father's acount name and never use vent to talk to other gamers.
Do not get me wrong, I have made some great frinds in games over the years. But the pain caused by a few have left a very bad felling about revealing my gender to other players.
I did an experiment a few years back in a game with my first female character. I decided I would role play the character as if I was a female to find out if there were real differences in how I was treated.
I think it was in Cabal, but it was long enough that my memory of the event is a bit hazy. What I do know for sure is that once people thought that I was a female the chat certainly changed. People would talk to me more often and I did get more free stuff from people trying to help me. I did not work that angle as a scam and eventually left that character to die quietly in the character selection page but a few valuable lessons were learned.
I have also had some terrible experiences with some female characters and people. There are two that I know of, we shared a guild vent service, that were extremely volatile individuals. Both were dramatic people with tempers and language designed to shock. One of them was permanently muted by me, the other just ignored for a while until things cooled down. To this day I have no idea what caused the eruptions but I suspect that they both had similar real life social issues and that the internet is the place they go to in order to interact with people. I have had some heated arguments and debates with both men and women over the years online, but only these two females were irrational beyond reasonable and therefore not worth conversing with.
On a lighter note I have also played with many other women that are equal to or better than their male counter parts as far as gaming and socializing goes. If anything, I find women more patient when explaining things to people with fewer noob jokes and whatnot. I also have been in a guild with a couple of openly gay and lesbian individuals and none of the stereotypes applied to these people either.
Truth be told. Some people role play. Some people are insecure online or not, and some people are just awful, imbalanced, and potentially mentally ill people. Stereotypes do not apply to all.
Interesting feelings towards that and I am sorry about your issues, but I think you are going about it the wrong way.
Completely understandable given the circumstances.
Any one that gives female players special attention and gives them free stuff deserve to get scammed.
My theme song.
Okay first off ....that suks hardcore...now I am not putting this on you but how did this guy stalk you ? Did you give him a email,phone number,fb, etc.....If he was becoming that much of a problem in game should of reported him to the company of which the game is managed.....
I have Know Idea how someone would eb able to stalk you without you first giving out personal info....did he hack the game to get your personal info and rl name .....You would of had to have some kind of relationship with this man in rl.......
Heres how you do it Don't give out any personal information and you won't have these problems .....
I only say this because you are playing a victim here when Infact I think theres some info your not giving us in the whole.....
THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE THIS MAN BEHAVIOR IN ANY WAY AND I AM SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU ......but I don't see how this man could stalk you in anyway without you giving him some info that you should of not given him. Someone ask whats your rl name is you say amy if your name is shelia if they ask for a email address give them www.amy6@gmail is that a rl address no. Put them on ignore in game and report them to the game. Never give out shat to anyone you don't know remb stranger danger.....
I never understood the NEED for knowing what gender the other player is. I play in mature guilds where anyone can be themselves. But I never asked anyone if they were M or F.
It's all about the personality anyway. After all I'm gaming, not dating
Ive only met a few women that hid it and I was amazed by how well they did it. Played with them for years and never had a clue. One time years ago I was playing a FPS think it was Rouge Spear RavenSheild. And this guy kept tea bagging me every chance he could, I thought that was weird, turns out it was a girl. I didnt think women liked FPS just one more stereotype Ive had to loose over the years.
I can not give you all the details about what happened in the RL stalking because it happened way back in time of The Realm and SWG during the start of Desert Storm and I was working for the DoD. It happen part in game and RL when game info, such as real name and address, was posted to the internet by accident or hacking of the game.
I can not tell you how he showed up and got on base, but ended up having to call the APs to kick him off base and turn him over to local cops.
Since then an advice of the base JAG, I have taken great pains when using the internet to do my work or play games.
I think it is typical for a 13-16 year old boy that just discovered he is interested in women and falls in love with every girl or woman that talks to him for more than 10 seconds. And believes they must be intersted in him.
A 19 YO behaving like that is a bit childish for his age. But perhaps because he is very unlucky trying to find a gf in real life. And, in that case, he might think about that every day. Perhaps most women ignore him. And if someone actually is nice to him he believes she is the love of his life...But often they will grow up and start to behave like adults eventually. Calling someone like that "handicapped" could be a bit to much, IMO.
In a game with a lot of players that are 12-19 YO boys it is not easy to avoid them. Perhaps it is normal?
I pretend to play a female toon and use a voice morpher for skype/ventrilo. It is funny how easy it is to find a picture online and put it in a "IRL photo guild thread". The amount of free shit and free pass i get to pretty much all raid spots/gear is hilarious.
And you may think that I am a low life, but I am giving you nerds a perceived fantasy and benefitting from it at the same time; win-win situation.
No you're not giving us a perceived fantasy, rather; you are giving yourself a fantasy you are to cowardly to do in real life, fact.
Dude, you need help. Psychiatric help. From a professional.
OT: I can completely understand why female gamers feel they need to hide their gender online. The amount of idiotic A/S/L messages I have seen in general chat whenever anyone with a female name dares talk in general chat is sickening. I have known female guild members that have been actively stalked(in game) by people after revealing their gender. I imagine most of the problem is oversexed 12 year old boys that dont know how to talk to girls, but that still doesnt excuse it.
Cluck Cluck, Gibber Gibber, My Old Mans A Mushroom
Say what you want good sir, but the fact that I get favourable treatment pretending to be girl that I otherwise would not have infers certain things.
You do not need to defend your situation here. Resourceful people can find ways to get information through strange methods in some cases but certainly not all cases. I find it funny that people around here talk all the time about the importance of gaming security, authenticators, up to date security software, and other safety measures and yet dismiss the possibility of a game and real life stalker as improbable.
There are plenty of game sites that require users to fill out user information fields that give players a chance to see those details. I filled out some information a few years ago thinking that the details would be kept hidden and found out later that I could log in and look up every subscribed account member. The whole site allows their users to view whatever those people placed in their information including name, location, Country, age, along with instant message contact information if the user so desired.
I learned to be far more cautious while signing up for games due to this instance, however I do not fear stalkers all that much. I also can't control the gaming sites security, if they get hacked my information will be out there. Sony was the biggest one that comes to mind. My account was one of the known hacked accounts, no matter how careful I was about not giving out my details, they were still compromised.
I legitimately meant a "HandiCapped" individual whos physical age is 19 but has a mental maturity of about 9. Again, not his fault, but it is the fault of those surrounding him to allow his behavior to go unchecked. Just because someone is mentally handicapped doesn't mean they're completely inept and learning from their actions, and if they are completely incapable of learning from their actions they shouldn't be in said guild to begin with. Just my 2cents
I think it is typical for a 13-16 year old boy that just discovered he is interested in women and falls in love with every girl or woman that talks to him for more than 10 seconds. And believes they must be intersted in him.
A 19 YO behaving like that is a bit childish for his age. But perhaps because he is very unlucky trying to find a gf in real life. And, in that case, he might think about that every day. Perhaps most women ignore him. And if someone actually is nice to him he believes she is the love of his life...But often they will grow up and start to behave like adults eventually. Calling someone like that "handicapped" could be a bit to much, IMO.
In a game with a lot of players that are 12-19 YO boys it is not easy to avoid them. Perhaps it is normal?
Age is not the best factor to consider here. I know plenty of people 30+ that still act very immature while on the internet, in vent, or in game. Without any serious repercussions relating to their behaviors, age does automatically exclude anyone.
Ttere can be exeptions. But if someone behaves like a 13 YO boy he probably is. If it really is a 13 YO he only needs to grow up. If he is 30 he needs professional help.
If the game is intended for 12 YO and up I think it makes sense to belive it is a young boy. Unless there is a specific reason to believe it could be a 30 YO with personality problems. Because they are not the norm...
lol. Kudos to you man. You should document your shenanigans and let us have a laugh every now and then.
http://penny-arcade.com/patv/episode/harassment
Expose that touches on your issue.
Part of the problem is, men can be as degrading to you as they want, but women cannot really degrade men, on the internet at least. Maybe I'm wrong, but ive never seen it. Anything you could say to a man could easily be turned around as some sort of sexual sugestive remark.
One of the only ways to fight this is developers giving the greater player community tools to silence trolls, dont really see that happening since they pay their monies too.
I legitimately meant a "HandiCapped" individual whos physical age is 19 but has a mental maturity of about 9. Again, not his fault, but it is the fault of those surrounding him to allow his behavior to go unchecked. Just because someone is mentally handicapped doesn't mean they're completely inept and learning from their actions, and if they are completely incapable of learning from their actions they shouldn't be in said guild to begin with. Just my 2cents
I think it is typical for a 13-16 year old boy that just discovered he is interested in women and falls in love with every girl or woman that talks to him for more than 10 seconds. And believes they must be intersted in him. A 19 YO behaving like that is a bit childish for his age. But perhaps because he is very unlucky trying to find a gf in real life. And, in that case, he might think about that every day. Perhaps most women ignore him. And if someone actually is nice to him he believes she is the love of his life...But often they will grow up and start to behave like adults eventually. Calling someone like that "handicapped" could be a bit to much, IMO. In a game with a lot of players that are 12-19 YO boys it is not easy to avoid them. Perhaps it is normal?
Age is not the best factor to consider here. I know plenty of people 30+ that still act very immature while on the internet, in vent, or in game. Without any serious repercussions relating to their behaviors, age does automatically exclude anyone.
Ttere can be exeptions. But if someone behaves like a 13 YO boy he probably is. If it really is a 13 YO he only needs to grow up. If he is 30 he needs professional help.
If the game is intended for 12 YO and up I think it makes sense to belive it is a young boy. Unless there is a specific reason to believe it could be a 30 YO with personality problems. Because they are not the norm...
All I can say it that you should not assume that the behavior indicates the age. This kind of assumption that is at the root of the discussion here; that a character gender does not prove the person on the other end is the same and in some cases might be pretending otherwise for security purposes and or nefarious reasons.
Most gamers are older rather than younger. There are plenty of studies to prove that. Fewer 25 to 35 year old players would play Pokemon, or Hello Kitty I imagine, but then we are not discussing specific games. When you log into your average adult oriented MMO, meaning one that is geared for 18 years old or more, I wager we can assume most of the population are that age. In the subscription genre alone, some form of payment is required and I gather that at least some parents are paying attention to what their kids a playing online.
Interesting topic OP. I'll admit when I was younger and new to the online gaming scene, I tended to treat female characters differently. The first time I created a character in an online game, I immediately created a male character. I thought I was supposed to. My best friend at the time also felt that way. If you're a dude IRL, then you play a male character.
As a result, I viewed any female character as a woman IRL. Eventually, I learned that most of those female characters were controlled by dudes. This ultimately caused me to distrust the gender of any character in an online game. It also helped me recognize my good and bad behavior toward other players, regardless of their gender. Since it's impossible to know 100% who is controlling the avatar, it's better to just treat everyone the same.
I think the illusion of anonymity encourages immature behavior for those who are new to online gaming. Eventually, we all learn the correct way to act toward others.
Most people treat me no different then anybody else, but I like my small guild, so I don't meet a ton of people either. I don't think I'm hiding though, I just don't advertise.