General: I Stole From My Mother

SBFord

The infamous Coyote Sharptongue is new to MMORPG.com but not necessarily new to many of our readers. We're pleased to bring his pithy wit to our site for your reading pleasure. No introduction is better than his own so without further ado...read on!

Do you write a clinical, resume style listing of accomplishments and cite previous work in the field? Do you stand slowly, aware that all eyes are on you and squeak your deeds in a voice best suited for an Alcoholics Anonymous confession?

Or do you treat it with the suave familiarity of a sexual conquest and offer a playful grin, proof of a clean bill of health and the pre-encounter agreed upon fifty bucks with the understanding of no direct eye contact?

Read more about Coyote's Howling: I Stole From My Mother.

GeekDadMan

Oh, you'll feel right at home here. >=)

Welcome! I enjoyed the article, and look forward to reading more. You won't even need to use the chloroform.

hardicon

lol, welcome to the madhouse.  i think these articles are at least gonna be entertaining.

Daffid011

---

"Conan! What is best in life?" Brown, apparently lots and lots of... brown"

---

Excellent.

Tardcore

Welcome to the fold and excellent first article. I laughed till I near pissed myself. (though at my age that doesn't really mean much)

 

Kyleran

Be sure to attack "sacred cows", they love that sort of thing here at the MMORPG forums.

I'd personally start off with something about F2P/cashshop/microtransactions in MMO's and how they'll be bringing on the end of the universe shortly.

preston326

You are trying to be funny too hard... it just dont work for you. Anyhow, welcome and have fun.

nadrian3k

Love your type, and feelin' the same way as u. Thumbs up and welcome!

 

PS. I love the pics, made my day.

Jonsus

The force is strong with this one...

Well written and welcome.

Comnitus

Hoo boy, you're gonna have fun here.

solusbelator

Welcome!  It's articles like these that remind me not to take life so damn serious.  Thank you

Short-Straw

You think my brother would have told me he had finally got a paying job. Good to see you're out of rehab.

BTrayaL

Welcome, good start

Thane

yea, how could funcom use brown colours in a desert! shame on them deserts surely need more green and stuff... after all that's why they are called deserts! 

 

.............................

Nickwisni

Welcome but like preston326 mentioned you are trying too hard to be funny. I only found one thing funny in the entire article and it was the quarter stealing since I have done it along with many others. There are mistakes in the article for typing. I hate to be a critic, but when you are talking about something being "just write there” it should be spelled "right" instead of "write".

elocke

Yeah...I like your style..when you aren't trying to be funny.  Just let it come naturally.  The expletives and crude talk....doesn't help comedy and frankly it's old hat anymore.  I can find that type of humor anywhere.  The real challenge is being funny without being crude and rude.  You can do it.  The rest of your writing style has a nice feel to it.

Anyway, welcome to MMORPG.com.

Ibster

I like it! personally i say keep the crude and rude, i find it entertaining. Some posts about it seeming forced, but for an introduction article tbh they always seem a bit like that as the writer gropes for the audience. The majority of articles here ill have stopped reading before the end, so this definately gets + points from me. Refreshing.

ErifNevow

Definatly some articles I will be looking at...

 

And I thought that X-Men was a good movie on its own, but as an actual X-Men movie... it just wasn't good.

ultrastoat

I might be a shitty MMORPG player, but I'm a fairly experienced humorist, and this was trying to emulate cracked.com's "punchline / captioned photo / segway" a little too hard.

True humor is finding the edge in a conversation when there is none. It's breaking the barrier between normalcy and surreality in a manner that still befits the context. Ragging on AoC because it's brown isn't really a humor point, it's just an observation. A good pun to make with regard to that game could be something as childish as "they marketed this game as having full-on boob nudity. More like age of BONE-an, am I right?" and it would have been funnier.

Also, yes, poop can be funny, but merely observing that poop is funny, however, is not. Everything needs a context. "poop is funny", sure, yes, but WHY is it funny? is it funny because you just made one that smells like tchernobyl? is it funny because you just fed it to an orphan? or is it simply funny because it happens to make the same sound coming out as it's name?

There, that was making poop funny. Hell, without even stretching it, you could have tied in two mediocre jokes for one grander punchline, implying that perhaps AoC's color pallette was "art from within", "true, natural inspiration coming from the inside". Or you could go the lowbrow route and say that the artists used turds instead of Wacom styli.

Either way, I am not trying to tell you how to do your job, since my area of professional expertise actually lies in the development of games, and not in humor (although I sincerely wish it did), and clearly you possess better qualifications than most if not anyone posting here, and as such more than deserve your column. 

I am, however, implying that there is both a science and an art to being funny, and from what I gleaned from this article, the levels of humor here were "my first chemistry set" and a box of turd colored watercolors.

elocke

Originally posted by nhavas

I might be a shitty MMORPG player, but I'm a fairly experienced humorist, and this was trying to emulate cracked.com's "punchline / captioned photo / segway" a little too hard.

True humor is finding the edge in a conversation when there is none. It's breaking the barrier between normalcy and surreality in a manner that still befits the context. Ragging on AoC because it's brown isn't really a humor point, it's just an observation. A good pun to make with regard to that game could be something as childish as "they marketed this game as having full-on boob nudity. More like age of BONE-an, am I right?" and it would have been funnier.

Also, yes, poop can be funny, but merely observing that poop is funny, however, is not. Everything needs a context. "poop is funny", sure, yes, but WHY is it funny? is it funny because you just made one that smells like tchernobyl? is it funny because you just fed it to an orphan? or is it simply funny because it happens to make the same sound coming out as it's name?

There, that was making poop funny. Hell, without even stretching it, you could have tied in two mediocre jokes for one grander punchline, implying that perhaps AoC's color pallette was "art from within", "true, natural inspiration coming from the inside". Or you could go the lowbrow route and say that the artists used turds instead of Wacom styli.

Either way, I am not trying to tell you how to do your job, since my area of professional expertise actually lies in the development of games, and not in humor (although I sincerely wish it did), and clearly you possess better qualifications than most if not anyone posting here, and as such more than deserve your column. 

I am, however, implying that there is both a science and an art to being funny, and from what I gleaned from this article, the levels of humor here were "my first chemistry set" and a box of turd colored watercolors.

You really didn't make it as funny as you say you did.

ultrastoat

Originally posted by elocke

Originally posted by nhavas

I might be a shitty MMORPG player, but I'm a fairly experienced humorist, and this was trying to emulate cracked.com's "punchline / captioned photo / segway" a little too hard.

True humor is finding the edge in a conversation when there is none. It's breaking the barrier between normalcy and surreality in a manner that still befits the context. Ragging on AoC because it's brown isn't really a humor point, it's just an observation. A good pun to make with regard to that game could be something as childish as "they marketed this game as having full-on boob nudity. More like age of BONE-an, am I right?" and it would have been funnier.

Also, yes, poop can be funny, but merely observing that poop is funny, however, is not. Everything needs a context. "poop is funny", sure, yes, but WHY is it funny? is it funny because you just made one that smells like tchernobyl? is it funny because you just fed it to an orphan? or is it simply funny because it happens to make the same sound coming out as it's name?

There, that was making poop funny. Hell, without even stretching it, you could have tied in two mediocre jokes for one grander punchline, implying that perhaps AoC's color pallette was "art from within", "true, natural inspiration coming from the inside". Or you could go the lowbrow route and say that the artists used turds instead of Wacom styli.

Either way, I am not trying to tell you how to do your job, since my area of professional expertise actually lies in the development of games, and not in humor (although I sincerely wish it did), and clearly you possess better qualifications than most if not anyone posting here, and as such more than deserve your column. 

I am, however, implying that there is both a science and an art to being funny, and from what I gleaned from this article, the levels of humor here were "my first chemistry set" and a box of turd colored watercolors.

You really didn't make it as funny as you say you did.

 

And that brings us to our final lesson! humor is entirely subjective, and the only thing that is generally universally laughed at is a fart.

Bunnyking

tl;dr 

 

Alalala

Coyote - I'm bored to pieces - what MMORPG(s) are you playing right now?

Wickedjelly

The only thing more amusing than this article are the posters getting upset over his AOC landscape remark or the fact he used the f-word - wouldn't want to offend anyone's sensibilities.

Like posters here have any >_>

Oh yeah, welcome to the show Coyote.

elocke

Originally posted by nhavas

Originally posted by elocke

Originally posted by nhavas

I might be a shitty MMORPG player, but I'm a fairly experienced humorist, and this was trying to emulate cracked.com's "punchline / captioned photo / segway" a little too hard.

True humor is finding the edge in a conversation when there is none. It's breaking the barrier between normalcy and surreality in a manner that still befits the context. Ragging on AoC because it's brown isn't really a humor point, it's just an observation. A good pun to make with regard to that game could be something as childish as "they marketed this game as having full-on boob nudity. More like age of BONE-an, am I right?" and it would have been funnier.

Also, yes, poop can be funny, but merely observing that poop is funny, however, is not. Everything needs a context. "poop is funny", sure, yes, but WHY is it funny? is it funny because you just made one that smells like tchernobyl? is it funny because you just fed it to an orphan? or is it simply funny because it happens to make the same sound coming out as it's name?

There, that was making poop funny. Hell, without even stretching it, you could have tied in two mediocre jokes for one grander punchline, implying that perhaps AoC's color pallette was "art from within", "true, natural inspiration coming from the inside". Or you could go the lowbrow route and say that the artists used turds instead of Wacom styli.

Either way, I am not trying to tell you how to do your job, since my area of professional expertise actually lies in the development of games, and not in humor (although I sincerely wish it did), and clearly you possess better qualifications than most if not anyone posting here, and as such more than deserve your column. 

I am, however, implying that there is both a science and an art to being funny, and from what I gleaned from this article, the levels of humor here were "my first chemistry set" and a box of turd colored watercolors.

You really didn't make it as funny as you say you did.

 

And that brings us to our final lesson! humor is entirely subjective, and the only thing that is generally universally laughed at is a fart.

Now THAT evoked a chuckle.  Hehe, but yes, very subjective humor is.  Like Yoda I sound. 

DarkPony

This was entertaining, and slightly ground breaking for mmorpg.com in the language department.

We shall wait and read what you have in store for us next and not send you to the chopping block just yet. Do carry on, please.